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A Whose Line is it Anyway? crossover vignette
by Ukyo Kounji

Disclaimer: Whose Line Is It Anyway? is owned by Hat Trick Productions and Warner Brothers.

Jusenkyou Hoedown

‘Whose Line’ intro music plays as the camera pans down the audience to the stage

[‘Whose Line’ intro music plays as the camera pans down the audience to the stage. WAYNE BRADY, DREW CAREY, COLIN MOCHRIE and RYAN STILES are standing side-by-side center stage]

[Camera on DREW]

DREW: Awright. Welcome back. Tonight's winner on "Whose Line:" Chip Estes, ladies and gentlemen! [Camera cuts to CHIP, sitting at the desk. He raises his clenched hands over his head in a victory gesture.]

[Camera back on DREW]

DREW: Anyway, as punishment, the rest of us have gotta do… a Hoe-Down! Our favorite game in the whole world. [RYAN rolls his eyes, regardless of whether or not the camera's on him] And what's our anime-related topic, Chip?

[Camera cuts back to CHIP, who is opening a 'Whose Line' envelope]

CHIP: Your topic is… [over-dramatically] Jusenkyo, the accursed Pools of Sorrow.

DREW: Ooh. Well, let's see what we can do with that… the Jusenkyo Hoe-Down, with the help of Laura Hall on the piano. Take it away, Laura, whenever you're ready…

[Camera picks up LAURA's fingers as she begins the Hoe-Down intro; and switches to WAYNE as she vamps a few times]

WAYNE [stepping forward, and smiling wide enough to make his eyes crinkle]:

I am Jusenkyo Guide, and I watch the people come
They jump into the Springs and change; I think they very dumb
Every time I warn them, and always I ignored
But I must admit that I never, never bored!

[WAYNE bows stiffly and steps back as LAURA continues her vamp. DREW steps forward]

DREW [speaking, as he can hardly carry a tune in a bucket]:

I've had poor luck with girls, so I thought it'd be a laugh
If I changed into a knockout, like in Ranma One-Half
I jumped into Nyannichuan and then I ran off screamy
Because the girl I turned into was — omigosh, I'm Mimi!

[We can see both WAYNE and COLIN shudder as DREW steps back. COLIN steps forward, still looking over at Drew, before shrugging and letting fly]

COLIN [also speaking, with enthusiasm]:

I saw a big cat once approach Jusenkyo Springs
He'd brought along a couple dogs, which turned to different things
It happened right before my eyes, and I sure learned a lot —
It goes to show a leopard can sometimes change its Spots!

[COLIN shrugs again as he retreats, and RYAN steps forward]

RYAN [singing, but without enthusiasm]:

I went swimming… in Jusenkyo's pools
Who would listen to that Guide, with all his goofy rules?
But now I know just what he meant — those things are really scary
I found out I'd been swimming in the Spring of Drowned Drew Carey!

ALL [turning to face DREW, singing]: Spring of Drowned Drew Carey!

DREW [with a rueful grin, over audience cheers]: Don’t go away, we’ll be right back with more ‘Whose Line is it, Anime?'

[Commercial bumper: Images of Regis Philbin holding up sheaves of hundred dollar bills; "Well, a million yen wouldn't get anyone excited, now, would it?"]


The End

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