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A Ranma ½ / Oh! My Goddess crossover story
by Trella

Okay, let’s see if I got this right. Ranma ½ and its characters and settings belong to Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Kitty, and Viz Video. Oh, My Goddess belongs to Fujishima Kousuke, Kodansha, TBS and KSS films; AnimEigo, Studio Proteus, and Dark Horse Comics. Really? Are you sure that's right? Bumsky! I, the author of "Aiyah, My Goddess?" expects to make not a single yen on this series… but at least with this chapter, I hope to give others a yen for… something else. Cuz, dear readers (both of you), this one's a lemon!

-Lemon Warning-

Chapter 4: The First Lemon Chapter!

Brought to you by:
Jusenkyo Springs… bringing a whole new meaning to taking a cold shower!


Freya returned to the Nekohanten from her date with Kuno in a somewhat…aroused state. There was nothing like a good battle to get the juices flowing, even if no one got killed. Ah, it was hard being a goddess of war in the modern age. But bashing up the police made an acceptable substitute.

There was Shampoo, looking sweet and innocent in her Chinese pantsuit and frilly little apron. She looked up from getting the tables ready in the cafe, which had not yet opened for business, and smiled as she saw Freya, her goddess and friend.

"How did your date go?" the Amazon asked (keep in mind that Freya, being a goddess, can speak any language required, so Shampoo had no need to resort to her somewhat weak, but cute, Japanese. What Shampoo couldn't figure out, however, was why Freya spoke perfectly good Chinese with a distinct American Southern accent…) Freya answered not with words, but by advancing on the startled Amazon with a predatory grin. Shampoo gulped and backed up nervously until her back was to the wall, and the goddess' arms trapped the girl between them.

Now, this situation was one in which martial arts training should have come into play. Indeed, all Shampoo really needed to do was to drop straight down to the floor and roll out from in between the wall and Freya's legs. But Shampoo was finding it difficult to concentrate, mostly because Freya had captured the Amazon’s lips with her own, and was kissing the purple-haired girl with all the passion she had, which was, after all, considerable. Sensing Shampoo's surrender, Freya pressed herself against the Amazon, breasts crushing against each other, and a divine leg found its way in between Shampoo's own, thigh pressing up against Shampoo's pelvis and gently rubbing. And it would have been X-certificate time for sure were it not for a gravely voice saying…

"If you don't mind, ladies, we do have a restaurant to open… you can play later!" Children, Cologne thought with exasperation, even if one of them is a goddess, have no sense of proper time and place for their sex-play.

Freya, for her part, did not much care to have her amorous intentions frustrated. She gathered in Power, the force of the heavens, but seeing Shampoo's wide and now slightly frightened eyes on her, and Cologne's back so coolly turned to her (actually, Cologne's well-honed sense of danger was shrieking like a five-alarm fire, but the ancient Amazon felt it was high time she showed Freya that within the walls of the Nekohanten, it was she who was in charge), she relaxed and dispersed the charge she was building up. She leaned in toward Shampoo and whispered in a voice laden with promise, "Later…", and gave the girl's earlobe a little nibble.

And so it was business as usual in the Nekohanten, only more so since it was quite busy. The two Hot Babes, Shampoo and Freya, certainly brought in the customers, and the old mummy's (Ow! Watch where you stick that thing!) …I mean, the Esteemed Elder's good "down home Chinese country goodness" cooking brought in those who weren't interested in Hot Babes. The joint was, as they say, jumping. Students, both male and female, salarymen, the occasional bohemian artist and manga illustrator type… they were all there, and they just kept streaming in.

So, by the time the Cat Cafe closed its doors, both Amazon and Goddess were quite in need of a good, soothing bath. After the clean-up chores had been finished, they both repaired to the bathroom. They both shared the delights of keeping their hair long… Freya's cascading down her back like a waterfall of fire, and Shampoo's purple tresses thick and flowing. And as either girl could tell you, hair that long and thick is a real pain to wash. They had taken to washing each other's hair; it made the task so much easier. And as girls do, they talked about the cute guys that were in the restaurant, the even cuter girls… and about a certain date that was on its way to becoming infamous.

"I saw on television where a movie prop got out of control and they had to call in the police and a SWAT team. Did you see any of that?" Shampoo asked as she lathered up Freya's hair and worked it around.

The goddess was very briefly at a loss for words. Those bloody MiB's won't even let me talk about what really happened on my date, she groused to herself. But to Shampoo, all she said was, "That's right, darlin'. Saw it all. Kuno wanted to play the hero and take it out himself, but hey, a girl's gotta have herself some fun, after all, so I did it all by myself. Too bad some of those police-type people got in the way… but they should be okay in a couple of days."

Shampoo giggled as she worked. It was a joy to her to have a friend, a female friend, with whom to gossip and talk. Oh, sure, she had her friends back home, but there was always the underlying competitiveness of Amazon society, the knowledge that at some time, she'd have to fight those friends to prove herself against them; not exactly conducive to close relationships. And if her life was complicated at home, it became even more so after meeting Ranma. She wouldn't have minded being friends with, say, Ukyo… or even Akane, if worse came to worst, but there was the ever-present element of 'which of us will get Ranma' standing in the way. But Freya… being a Goddess, there was no possible way Shampoo could physically compete against her, especially after having seen some of the things the Nordic beauty was capable. And she, to Shampoo's relief, showed no interest in getting into Ranma's pants. She had, in fact, provided Shampoo with divine help, even though it did involve putting up with the spatula girl and the violent girl too. "But how did you manage to even stand to be in the same room with Stick Boy? He's so stuck up you could use him as a training pole in one of the Cursed Springs!" Shampoo pointed out.

"Nah, he's not that bad, darlin'. I kinda think you and the others just don't really give him a fair chance. He's got issues, sure — I'm not certain what they are, not yet — and I kinda suspect he's not… well… quite right in the head; but then, what Great Hero of old ever was entirely sane? Hey, if they were sane, they'd have stayed home and taken up farming. Anyway, it’s your turn now," the goddess said as the Amazon rinsed out Freya's hair for the final time.

Shampoo took Freya's place on the little stool as the goddess drenched her hair with the handheld shower unit, then started working shampoo into Shampoo's tresses. It allowed her to get unnecessarily close to the Amazon, who suddenly gulped as she felt the goddess's breasts press into her back, and her hot breath caressing her ear.

"In fact", Freya whispered huskily, "Kuno's stories about his and his ancestors' fights and adventures got me sooo excited. I was getting so wet I was worried the boy would be able to smell my passion…" Shampoo was beginning to shiver. The fire-haired goddess had ceased running her fingers through her hair and was instead lightly stroking the sides of her full breasts as her lips and teeth nibbled her ear and neck.

"In fact", Freya continued, "it was all I could do not to throw the boy over a table, rip his clothes all off, and have my way with him right there in the restaurant…" The goddess' fingers now slide down over Shampoo's sides and start rubbing over the Amazon’s firm and muscular belly. "Can you imagine the headlines?" she whispered in a voice husky with passion and desire, "Goddess assaults high schooler in public restaurant! Details at 11:00!"

Shampoo couldn't help herself. At the imagery the goddess's words summoned up, she giggled, hard, and turned, only to find herself lips to lips with the Nordic Goddess of Love… and Sex. There was a very slight whimper from the Amazon as she found her mouth captured by the goddess, then she melted into the deep kiss.

Two water-slick bodies pressed into each other as nipples kissed just as lips were doing. The kiss broke briefly and Shampoo gazed into Freya's eyes with eyes wide as a doe's, while Freya returned that gaze with eyes smoky with passion.

"Freya… what you doing?" Shampoo whispered, reverting to Japanese. The Amazon was no stranger to the pleasures of girl-sex, having done her share of youthful experimentation back home, and she was familiar with the intense pleasures Freya could deliver, having had a taste of it (and Freya) on their very first night together. So it was no surprise that she was trembling in anticipation and nervousness. An aroused goddess can be frightening.

"Just finishing up what we started out there. I just hate leaving a job unfinished. And there'll be no interruptions this time…" Freya purred, and thought to herself, there had better not be any interruptions, or I'll be really pissed!

Freya left Shampoo's lips and started to work on Shampoo's throat, nibbling and lip-pinching the front of it, like some slightly confused vampire, while her hands cupped themselves over the young Amazon’s full breasts, thumbs flicking over tender and sensitive, not to mention hard as little marbles, nipples. Shampoo trembled from the sensation, for she was, after all, particularly sensitive there. Why do you think she wears all those silks without a bra?

So as Freya's lips worked their way down the girl's throat and rained wet kisses all over her upper chest, Shampoo had a fairly good idea where the goddess was heading. The anticipation of the promised pleasures left Shampoo watching with wide-eyed fascination (but then, being an anime character, Shampoo tended to be wide-eyed pretty much all the time…)

However, Shampoo, while correct about Freya's ultimate goal, was quite incorrect in her guess on how the goddess would reach it. Shampoo thought her live-in goddess would simply kiss and lick her way down to her Amazonian breasts — a delightful prospect, to be sure (especially for Shampoo), but much too prosaic for the likes of Freya. No slow and gradual approach for her. She stormed Shampoo's breastworks (okay, sorry, bad pun, I know) directly, diving down to claim the hardened buds with her lips, sucking them into her mouth and flicking over them with her tongue. Shampoo gasped in surprised delight and her body bucked sharply at this attack… especially when Freya bit down on one nipple while pinching the other hard between her fingers. It was a good thing Shampoo was sitting down, for her legs had turned to water and her body lost all its strength. All the poor girl could do was sit there, whimpering and quivering, as Freya had her way.

Freya, as has been pointed out elsewhere, was a Goddess… and since she was the Goddess of Battles, and therefore divinely strong, she had no trouble hoisting Shampoo up in her arms and depositing the girl onto the edge of the bathtub. Shampoo's state of pleasure-entranced limpness was a help, of course.

Shampoo had always fantasized about Ranma lifting her up in his strong, manly (except for those times when he's a she…) arms and having his way with her, making her do all sorts of so very naughty things. And recently, to her surprise, she found that a certain shorthaired girl with the occasional fits of violent temper, and a longhaired spatula girl had been creeping into those fantasies as well. Was she betraying her airen, she wondered, by allowing Freya to do these things to her? Then again, would she survive if she attempted to say no… and did she want to refuse, and deny herself the pleasures she knew the goddess was capable of delivering? The Amazon finally decided, as she was set down on the tub's edge, that there was nothing wrong with getting a little… practice… in, and anyway, Freya's tongue dipping into her navel felt too good.

Freya, for her part, could feel Shampoo's bout with uncertainty, and decided to bring an end to it. These mortals, she thought to herself, life's too short for them, and they still muck around trying to make up their minds about things. They just don't know what's good for them, sometimes.

It has been wondered by many, throughout the documented adventures of Ranma and Company (both Official and, like this one, very unofficial), whether or not Shampoo's hair color was… well… natural. Freya had just placed herself into a very good position to find out, and unless the Amazon was a complete perfectionist about artificial hair coloring, the goddess could see that indeed Shampoo was a natural… natural… well, whatever color her hair was, it was natural.

The view was irresistible, especially to a goddess of love. Shampoo's (let's not be delicate here…) pussy was just so… pretty. It was only natural that Freya would take a lick of it, and that's just what the goddess did, to Shampoo's obvious approval. Freya spread the Amazon open with her fingers to allow her room to work. Her lips captured and pulled at Shampoo's labia, and her tongue stroked and caressed the length of the Amazon’s treasure, sometimes a long, slow, single path from bottom to top, other times flicking across from side to side. Freya's tongue would dip into the well of Shampoo's passion, lingering for just a moment, then out and up over the Amazon’s sensitive hood, circling around it, sucking it in between her lips ever so briefly, then releasing it so that the goddess could stab her tongue fiercely and repeatedly back into Shampoo's wet cunny.

What did Shampoo think of all this? She wasn't saying very much, after all… well, nothing very intelligible, anyway, although she was making a fair amount of noise. She tried to muffle her sounds of delight by pressing her mouth into her shoulder, and it did work to some extent, rendering what would have been loud gasps and moans into sounds somewhat softer. Shampoo's sounds of pleasure still filled the room, though, just as did the aroma of her desire. Her hands clutched at Freya's head, fingers entangled in the hair of the goddess.

While one of Freya's hands continued to hold Shampoo wide open for her oral assault, the other had cupped itself under Amazonian fanny, supporting the girl on her bathtub perch. The bathwater was quite warm, so it wouldn't trigger any inconvenient change should Shampoo fall in, but such a spill would nonetheless be something of a mood-killer. And with a hand so placed, and with both girls near out of their minds with lust, with passion, with just plain sex, it was only natural that a divine finger should happen to find a rather snug entrance in which to nestle.

Shampoo wasn't accustomed to being…penetrated…not down there, certainly, and she might have voiced an objection if it weren't for the fact that Freya, naughty goddess that she was, was sucking on her clit just as possessively as she had on the girl's nipples earlier. Except no teeth, this time. The sensations that caused tended to distract Shampoo, just a little, from any protests she might have made about being fingered anally, and really, it wasn't so bad…the finger was just resting a little inside, wriggling a bit but not thrusting…it was rather…nice, in fact…a girl could come to like it, actually…which might go a way to explaining why Shampoo was now squirming and writhing.

There is only so much pleasure a human body can tolerate. Shampoo gave every sign of having reached that point. Her sighs and moan increased, both in volume and quantity, and she was getting so loud, in fact, that she began to bite into her own shoulder. It just wouldn't do, after all, to alert great-grandmother to what was going on and have her interrupt things again. Especially not now. No, this was definitely not a good time for any interruptions.

And then Shampoo's climax hit, with all the subtlety of Akane's cooking. Freya's skilled lips and tongue, with the occasional teeth, had the girl doubled over in pleasure, trapping the goddess in her lap. It was so intense that the Amazon couldn't help herself, couldn't keep her voice under control any more, and cried out her pleasure with a declaration of "… I… I'm… ohhh noooo… I-I'm OHMYGODDESS! I'm cumming!" …A fact that would have been quite obvious to anyone that might have been watching. Her mind a-swirl, she started calling out the names of those to whom she felt attracted… Ukyo, Akane, even Nabiki, and a final, almost despairing cry of "RaaanmaaAAAA!"

Of course, such sounds of ultimate pleasure only encouraged the goddess to work the harder, to thirstily lap up as much of Shampoo's flow as she could. And just as naturally, the increased tongue-work, fluttering, flicking, dipping in and out, had the Amazon sobbing in pleasure and making Freya's face all wet. Finally Shampoo could stand no more, and collapsed, still doubled over, her breasts on the goddess's neck and her head resting on Freya's, as the young and now weary Amazon panted in lungfuls of sex-laced air.

Freya looked up from between Shampoo's now slack legs, with a wicked grin on her juice-coated face. "Under usual circumstances", she stated, "I'd be very annoyed and unhappy if someone called out a name other than my own… after all, you pretty much ran through everyone but me… but in this case, anyway, I'll make an exception…"

"Shampoo make it up to you… as soon as she catch her breath", the Amazon promised.

"Awww… did I leave my little kitty-cat all panting?" Freya chortled.

Shampoo grinned in her own turn, and pulled the goddess up to where she could clean Freya's passion-smeared face. This operation was conducted not with a washcloth, which was out of the Amazon’s reach anyway, but with something considerably more convenient… her own tongue. Shampoo purred as she tasted herself on Freya. It made her very thirsty for more, and since she couldn't reach herself (and don't think she hadn't tried, on occasion), the handiest source was, of course, Freya. And she was so willing, too…

Shampoo was nothing if not generous, being ever willing to give as well as receive. She started to turn her attention to Freya's lusciously ripe breasts, but the goddess stopped her with, "I'll take care of these…you take care of this!" And the Nordic beauty's downward gesture left no doubt just where she meant. As if there would have been any doubt…

Shampoo gazed lustfully at Freya's utterly smooth pubis. It amazed her. There was no stubble, no razor burn, no evidence of shaving…it was just simply hairless, just like those naughty manga the Amazon sometimes looked at (and paid a hefty price out of her waitress wages to Nabiki for…). It was naturally smooth because Freya wanted it that way…it can be fun being the Goddess of Love!

The Amazon arranged Freya just the way she wanted, the goddess on her knees and leaning over the edge of the tub, so that her divine backside was upraised and facing Shampoo. For our favorite Amazon had herself a little secret, that the rest of the gang didn't know about. She liked fannies. A shapely girl's backside, encased in snug jeans, or revealed by tight shorts, delighted her. She had checked out Ukyo…and Akane (rather often, since they usually found themselves in the same public baths together)…even Nabiki from time to time (again, easy to do, since Nabiki favored the aforementioned tight shorts). And there was Ranma…especially Ranma. In girl form, Nerima's supreme martial artist had such a sweet little tail, and since Ranma tended, due to circumstances beyond her control or understanding, to lose her clothing when in girl form with alarming frequency, Shampoo had the opportunity of running her eyes over those buns time and again. Of course, she'd prefer to run her fingers or her tongue over them, but one had to make do with what one could get. (And in case anyone's wondering, Shampoo thinks Boy-Ranma's got a pretty yummy bum, too…) And now, here was Freya, posed so nicely, and with such a divine ass, all for Shampoo's delight.

So what was an Amazon to do, but take advantage of the situation? Shampoo snuggled up to Freya, wrapping an arm all the way around the goddess's waist to where her fingers could reach that erotically smooth cunny. Her fingers stroked along the lines of Freya's labia and made circles around the goddess's unusually large clitoris (as the author of this narration has pointed out, it can be fun being the Goddess of Love…). Shampoo nuzzled and rubbed her cheek against Freya's fanny, licking and biting, before she set to work thrusting her tongue deeply into the goddess, seeking out that honey for which she was so thirsty. She took Freya's sharp gasp and sudden hard bucking of hips to be a sign of approval. (well, she was right, of course…) But no matter how deeply Shampoo's tongue went, or how fast it flicked in and out, not to mention back and forth, she simply could not keep up with the flow of passion-juice that was pouring from Freya. The goddess was just oozing, her nectar dripping down from the Amazon’s chin and rolling down her legs. Freya, being a goddess, didn't have to worry about the levels of dehydration such a loss of fluid would involve, and Shampoo, in that small part of her mind that wasn't lust-seared at the moment, was again reminded of certain quite naughty manga… the really wet ones. And that brought an idea to her…

She had a spare hand, after all, one that was just idly rubbing and caressing over Freya's rear. And the goddess was so wet and slippery that Shampoo thought surely she wouldn't object to some digital penetration. She slithered a couple of fingers up the goddess's leg, following the trail of cunny juice, and when she came to the very source, in the fingers went, to Freya's evident and very vocal approval. The Amazon thrust them in and out deeply a few times, to get them properly slick. Then, without warning, two Amazonian fingers were thrust into Freya's fanny. "If Freya do that to Shampoo, then Shampoo get revenge by doing same!" thought the Amazon.

Goddesses… well, Freya, anyway… normally have a higher threshold of pleasure than ordinary mortals. But the Nordic goddess of Love was just so hot, first from her date with Kuno, then the quickie battle with the police, and finally with having her way with Shampoo, that when those fingers just plunged into her, wet with her own fluids, well, she just simply started to come. And like a certain bunny on TV, she kept coming and coming and coming and…

Freya was not so concerned with keeping her sounds of pleasure down the way Shampoo was. Let them hear her who would. It’s possible they heard her in Yokohama, for she had a carrying voice, and each stab of Shampoo's tongue, each jab of fingers so deeply inserted into her nether regions, brought forth another scream. And it was not by her voice alone that Freya revealed her ecstasy. Her whole body trembled and shook, which was not at all surprising… what did startle Shampoo was the fact that the very ground below them seemed to be shaking and vibrating in sympathy with Freya.

As I said, they might have heard her in Yokohama… certainly Cologne heard her (how could she help it?), in her room trying to get some sleep with the radio news in the background ("And finally, another mysterious bank robbery. 75,000 yen were stolen last night, and so far the police are baffled. The thieves left no clues behind, and nothing was captured on the security cameras. This makes the third robbery this month to fall into this pattern…") and decided not to interfere. Formidable martial artist that she was, she knew when to not poke her nose into things.

Back in the bathroom, Freya and Shampoo were affectionately snuggling after their exertions. Freya had cleaned up the Amazon in the same way as had been done for her, and the two were just enjoying being in each others arms. But there was something troubling Shampoo, a slight niggling at the back of her mind… something…

"Freya… did the Earth move for you, too?"


To be continued.

Author's notes: Did I really write that? Shame on me! Jeez, aren't I supposed to take raunchy, naughty lemons seriously?

Perhaps so, but that was, after all, my first lemon. I suspect more will follow, in their own time, as Freya wills it. (And the plans I have for Mousse… woof!)

Once again, my many thanks go to Jim Bader for his help and suggestions with this chapter (and if you want to know what happens between Freya and Kuno, read his "Realities Cubed" saga, and you'll find out!) Both thanks and many genuflections to the Goddess Takahashi. Without here, I wouldn't be writing this. And thanks to you, the reader.

Chapter 5
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