Disclaimer: Darkstalkers and Co. belong to Capcom. Ranma and Co. belong to Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Kitty, and Viz Video. There are others belonging to other people, too. The original idea for this story came from DragonBard.

Chapter 1

"So, is it agreed then?"

The speaker regarded the two others with barely veiled contempt; were it not for the fact that he needed them for this task, he would have destroyed them both without a second thought. But as much as he despised these lesser creatures, there was one he hated even more: the reason why he had been forced to deal with these scum of the night.

Because more then anything else in the world, Saffron, the Lord of Phoenix Mountain, wanted Ranma Saotome dead.

"This proposal suits my needs."

The figure on the right was dressed in the garb of a gentleman several centuries gone, but not a drop of humanity ran in his veins. Dimitri Maximoff, Vampire and Demon Lord, was one of the most evil and sadistic tyrants to ever darken the face of the Earth. So vile that even his fellow demons had condemned his actions and banished him from the Demon World uncounted centuries ago.

"Mine as well."

Vlad the Impaler, known to the rest of the world as Dracula, smiled coldly as he watched the foolish demi-immortal. The Phoenix King was prideful but stupid, and once the birdman's usefulness ended he would become nothing more then meat for the hunt.

One underestimated a Master Vampire only once.

Dracula turned to meet his fellow vampire's eyes and gave him a small nod that went unnoticed by their unsuspecting companion.

Dimitri's eyes glowed an evil red as he acknowledged his partner's sign. The old bastard was still too powerful to betray yet, and there would be enough blood and power to satisfy them both in the nights to come.

They would work together… for now.

Life sucked.

It shouldn't have, but it did.

Ranma lay on his back on top of the Tendo's roof. Tonight was a beautiful night, but he hardly noticed. He stared tiredly up into the sky and wished once again that he'd never gone to China or Phoenix Mountain.

It had been over three months ago, but the repercussions of his actions were still being felt. The balance between the various fiancées and rivals in Nerima had always been a fragile one, and his clumsy attempts to try and keep the whole situation from blowing up in his face hadn't been of much help.

It had only been a matter of time, but Ranma always been too busy trying to get through the present that he'd always put off worrying about the future until it came up and bit him on the ass.

Now the young martial artist felt like he was in a cage with no way out and the walls were coming down on him.

He was finally going to have to face the whole engagement mess. He couldn't run away from it anymore, not after the almost-wedding disaster.

{Goddamn old man, this is all your fault.}

Genma had gotten him into this, but it was left up to Ranma to figure a way out.

The only problem was that as far as he could tell, there was no way out.

He had at least two fiancées. There might be more out there; after the Kaori incident he wasn't sure anymore. But two or two thousand, the basic problem was the same. Marrying any one of them would result in hurt feelings and lost honor on the other side. Breaking any of the engagements from his side was also out of the question. Such a low act would cause him to become an outcast to his peers and Japanese society, people would respect Happosai over an oathbreaker.

And then there was Shampoo.

By her village's laws they were married.

Fortunately they weren't in China, or things would have been even more complicated.

But as things stood, it was still no picnic.

He'd discovered from the old ghoul that under Japanese law his 'marriage' actually translated into a betrothal of sorts, to be confirmed by an actual wedding ceremony.

And so technically Shampoo could be counted as his third fiancée, and there was nothing he could do about it.

The first time the Amazon had disobeyed her tribe's laws, she had been punished with a Jusenkyo curse.

She'd spared his life when she should have killed him. He would never forget her tears when she had looked down at him, so hurt by his deception and wanting to hurt him back. But she couldn't do it. She had run away instead. And the kami help him, Ranma had felt like he'd become just like his father that day.

He didn't want to know what fate awaited Shampoo back home if she failed a second time.

He couldn't do that to her. Not again. Never again.

But everyone kept pushing him to choose.

His father and Soun Tendo wanted him to marry Akane and take over the school.

They simply assumed that he wanted to stay and teach classes inside the old rundown dojo.

But he didn't want to teach. He wanted to learn.

He knew from Ryoga that there were other schools, other places out there where special techniques and training existed. And Ranma wanted so badly to go out and look for them. Being the best was only the goal; it was getting there that was the real fun.

But neither Genma nor Soun understood that desire. They thought he should be content with the skills he had now. They believed it was enough for him, as long as he paid for their long, luxurious retirement.

Just like they had assumed that he loved Akane.

{But I don't think I do.}

There were times when he wanted to make her happy and there were times when he just wanted to shake the tomboy for being such a big idiot.

Akane could be cute when she wanted to be, but then she'd turn ugly with anger in an instant. At times nice, at others violent… and he never knew what would set either one off.

She was the first girl he'd ever really spent a lot of time around, and Ranma did care about her. He cared a lot, enough to risk his neck every time the youngest Tendo found herself in trouble.

But love?

No.

He still wasn't really sure what love was. There hadn't exactly been a lot of good examples during his training trip, and even less here in Nerima. Was acting like a brain-dead fool supposed to be love? Beating people up and trying to kill them? Or groping all sorts of inappropriate places against their will?

In that case he was probably loved by every nutcase in Nerima.

But whatever he felt for Akane, it wasn't what their families expected him to feel.

The other girls were all in the same boat.

He cared about them, even Kodachi and that annoying Hinako-sensei.

But he didn't love them.

The closest thing that Ranma knew was Nodoka. He was pretty sure he loved his mother. He'd been willing to die for her after all.

The pigtailed teenager sighed.

{I don't want to get married.}

There lay the crux of his dilemma.

The number of actual dates with girls he'd been on could be counted on one hand, with fingers to spare. His knowledge of what one actually did with the opposite sex was limited to little more then kissing and hugging.

According to his mother, being naked with them was supposed to be good. But he always ended up getting hit whenever that happened.

His father was even less informative (not that Ranma trusted him anyway). And the old man's example of what marriage was like made the prospect even less appealing to his son.

"I just want…"

He frowned after a short silence.

"Damn it. I don't know what I want."

The full moon softly illuminated his frustrated features.

{But I know it's not this.}

How long was Akane going to stay mad at him this time anyway?

"That IDIOT!!"

Nabiki regarded her fuming sister for a moment.

"Calm down sis. What did he do this time?"

{As if I didn't already know. But at least I got paid.}

Most people would feel at least a little guilty about setting up someone else for a fall just for a quick buck. But Nabiki was of the mind that if her victims were dumb enough to fall for her tricks, then they deserved whatever they got taken for.

Case in point. Her younger sister had kicked out her fiancé earlier that evening for the crime of being caught in the Nekohanten with Shampoo and Ukyo.

They had paid Nabiki most generously to be able to meet with Ranma.

But double-crossing them and collecting a fee from Akane for his whereabouts had made her even more money.

The poor boy hadn't even been able to finish his explanation before being sent into LEO by Air "Guaranteed to Get You There In An Hour or Less" Tendo.

And the middle Tendo sister would be collecting additional revenue from Ranma later when he would be forced to come to her in search of a way to properly 'apologize' to his fiancée.

"That pervert! How dare he still chase after other women!! He went against Saffron for me, not for any of those other girls!! He was going to marry me!! So why can't that idiot admit he loves me and get rid of those floozies?!!"

Nabiki picked her next words carefully.

"Maybe he was just there for the free food."

It was like throwing gasoline on a bonfire.

"That BAKA!!!"

Satisfied that her younger sister wouldn't be calming down anytime soon, Nabiki went back to thinking about how she'd spend her ill-gotten profits on the next shopping spree.

{I'd almost feel sorry for Ranma, if it wasn't so profitable and fun making his life miserable.}

"…-BAKA!!!"

Ranma winced from his seat on the roof.

"So much for trying to sneak back in after she cools off."

He shivered. The air was starting to get chilly.

"I don't understand why she was so mad, all I was doing was talking with them. It wasn't like we were on a date or nothing."

You'd have thought he'd been acting like the old letch from her behavior.

"Why can't she ever trust me?"

He started rubbing his arms together.

"And why is it so cold out here?"

He was downright freezing now.

The young man decided to move around the roof in an attempt to warm up. He started jogging along the sides, getting his blood moving.

It helped a little, but the chill refused to leave him entirely.

High above the unsuspecting martial artist, the two hovering figures eyed their target.

"Now."

There was no warning.

One moment he was on the roof, and the next he was falling as the roof exploded in a ball of red flame in front of him.

"What the--?!"

His training allowed him to easily recover in mid-fall. Genma had been a lousy parent, but his teachings had proved useful on more then one occasion. Like now.

The pigtailed boy landed in the backyard and looked around for his attacker.

"Ryoga! If this is another one of your stupid 'I must avenge myself on Ranma' ideas then YOU can fix the damn roof this time!!"

{Why can't that moron just give it a rest already?!!}

But to his surprise, Hibiki didn't pop up with his traditional "Ranma, prepare to die!" speech.

Another fireball dropped at his feet. This one caught his lower half in the blast, ruining his pants and scorching his legs and feet in the process.

"Agghh! That hurt, you jerk!!"

He looked up, expecting to see Herb, or one of the other powerful martial artists or magical beings he'd encountered before (and usually ended up fighting).

Instead he was greeted with the sight of two strange looking men standing (!) in midair.

"Who the hell are you guys?!"

Something about the way they were looking at him made Ranma's skin crawl.

They were dressed weird, too. For some reason he was reminded of the time when he'd been conned into that play "Romeo and Juliet".

But something told him that these guys weren't actors.

Dimitri studied the boy carefully, looking for any sign of the power that had supposedly bested Saffron.

{Bah! As if a mere mortal could be any threat to me!}

The boy was merely a boy. He would die like all the others.

Ranma figured out that these guys were not friendly about the same time they threw another barrage of those damn fireballs at him.

{What did I ever do to those two? Don't tell me they're here to collect some old bar bill from Genma!!}

He dodged them this time, but the yard wasn't so lucky.

{Aww, man! Those repair people just fixed it from the last big fight! And I just know that the Tendos are going to make me pay for this. This bites!!}

"You jerks!! Come down here and fight me like a man!!"

Unfortunately, despite frequent encounters with magic and the supernatural, the young Saotome had never faced vampires before. Like most people he thought such monsters were nothing more then stuff to scare little kids.

Tonight he was going to learn differently.

"You mean like this?"

The punch caught Ranma squarely in the stomach and sent him flying into the wall bordering the yard. He made a two-meter wide crater on impact. It felt worse then even Ryoga's best haymaker.

"Guuuhh…"

A salty metallic warmth rushed up his throat to fill his mouth.

"Phehh!"

The martial artist spat out a mouthful of blood.

{How did?! I didn't even sense he was there!}

Out of the corner of his eye he caught a flash of movement.

{!}

Ranma ducked just in time as the concrete shattered under a black boot. Since talking didn't seem to do any good, all that was left was to fight.

His rising counter kick to the chest would have made even Pantyhose Taro think twice, but it didn't seem to faze this pointy haired bastard in the slightest. It was just like hitting solid rock, except harder and more painful.

Two quick blows to his face rocked Ranma back on his heels. He blocked the third and turned it into an over-the-shoulder throw… only to find that at some point between the toss and the ground that his opponent had vanished.

{What the--?!}

A spinning drill kick from above caught him on the forehead. It was the same guy, but how had he gotten up there again?!

The martial artist shook his head to try and clear it. Although he'd taken several blows that would have rendered most people unconscious or worse, Saotomes were notorious for their ability to soak up physical punishment. He might not be quite as tough as Ryoga, but it would take more then that to keep him down.

{But where is he?!}

The uppercut sent him flying.

What happened next could best be described as one of the cheesiest smack-down air-juggle ultra combos ever done outside of Marvel vs. Capcom 2.

The young man was literally pummeled from all directions by fists and feet as the teleporting vampire turned him into a human punching bag. His entire body was nothing more then an explosion of pain, there was no time to recover, no chance to fight back. All he could do was try to roll with the beating in an attempt to reduce the damage he was taking.

The finisher was Dimitri's Triple Assault Air Drill Dive.

Teleporting in sequence, the vicious bloodsucker delivered three powerful hits to the martial artist's chest, shredding his shirt and leaving two long slashes bleeding across his front.

Ranma crashed down to the street, limp and silent.

"All too easy."

The arrogant villain landed and moved toward the unmoving body.

Bending down, he reached out to grab the boy's neck and finish the job.

Ranma opened his eyes and grinned.

Anything Goes Strategy #5: Play Dead.

"Time for round two, Asshole."

Dimitri's jaw dropped.

Then his eyes widened and crossed as with every bit of strength the heir to the Saotome school kicked him dead center in the gonads.

Dracula smiled coldly as he witnessed his partner's lesson in humility.

The Master Vampire had learned long ago that it was unwise to underestimate these humans.

{Good. He recovers quickly. The boy will make an excellent thrall.}

Saffron was an idiot.

Why waste the potential in this one when he could simply be turned into one of them?

To be continued.

Webmaster: Larry F
Last revision: May 21, 2007