PenPen’s Pebble

Disclaimer: 'Tenchi Muyo!' is the property of Pioneer & AIC. PenPen belongs to Gainax and their holy church of Penguins. No profits made from this; it's just entertainment.

Part 1: No Need for Confusion

(Or never alter reality after ingesting 12 bottles of someone else’s alcoholic beverage)

"How’d he qualify for this?"

"Apparently, in his universe after Third Impact wiped out humanity, his race became the dominant species on Earth. He’s their first legendary hero. We never said that non-humans couldn’t participate in this, after all."

"But… but… HE’S A PENGUIN!! AND HE’S DRINKING MY BEER!!"

"Wark!"

"No, you can’t do that. What is it with you and romances involving older women anyway?"

"WARK!!"

"I was just asking!! Jeez, the nerve of some beings."

"Wark!!"

"Give me back my BEER!!"

"WARK!!"

Tenchi Masaki. Crown Prince of the Planet Jurai. Warrior of Justice, Destroyer of Evil. Bearer of the Light Hawk Wings and the chosen of Tsunami.

With 5 beautiful women in house, he hasn’t even kissed one of them yet.

Tenchi Masaki, the biggest weenie in the Multiverse.

But that was going to change…

-Tenchi Muyo Universe

Today was the day. After all the weeks of preparation and planning her hard work would finally pay off. It hadn’t been easy keeping this a secret from the others, she’d had more then one close call while getting everything ready.

Her attempts to get Tenchi had always been foiled by her rivals before now. But this time she’d finally be able to win his heart, his soul, and that yummy body of his.

Relaxing in the luxurious floating bath, she blushed as she dreamed of finally achieving her destiny.

Her sultry smile lit up her face, "Just you wait, Tenchi. This night is going to be one that you’ll never forget!"

This was not going to go over well with the other girls when they found out about this. But it was worth it.

Mihoshi was finally going to get LUCKY!

"Okay… this is something I haven’t seen before." Rowan raised an eyebrow. This could be… interesting.

"Anybody here think Tenchi will be able to escape?" Shadow asked rhetorically.

They all thought about it for a few seconds.

"Nope," the Guardian shook his head.

"Not a chance." After having similar situations happen to him numerous times before, Rowan knew better then to hope Tenchi would escape the horrible fate that awaited him at the altar.

"He’s going to be dragged to the altar faster then Ranma going through a bento." Shadow was ever blunt and to the point.

"I wish I was in his shoes."

-A sub-dimension of the Tenchi Universe

Lady Tokimi smiled.

Everything was going according to plan. Her chosen agent was in place. Tsunami and Washu would never know about what would happen until it was too late.

"Sisters, the game is mine. As Tenchi Masaki soon will be."

From within Herself, Tsunami frowned.

"Shit." The universe shook as the unthinkable occurred. In a dimension far, far away several people watching the Holy Goddess of Jurai utter her first profanity ever all facefaulted.

This was not good.

It looked like she would have to take a more personal hand in things. Nothing could be allowed to interfere with Tenchi’s development.

She would have to talk to Sasami. It looked like it was time to reveal that there was more to her then just a reflection.

A GREAT deal more…

-Masaki House

Unaware of the plots centered around him, the boy in question simply enjoyed his breakfast.

It was going to be a beautiful day…

"Good morning, Tenchi!"

"Morning Miho… shi!" Tenchi’s greeting stumbled and the last part came out as a high pitched squeak. His throat felt dry and constricted as he got a good look at what the attractive

Detective First Class Mihoshi was wearing a T-shirt, blue jeans and a black bra. He knew it was black because the shirt was pressed so tight against it that he could practically see through the white cotton from where he was sitting.

A trickle of blood rolled from Tenchi’s nose to fall unnoticed into his miso soup. Tenchi-ken started to power itself up; a fact that Tenchi was all too aware of as his pants rapidly became uncomfortably tight.

"Are you alright?"

Innocent looking blue eyes suddenly filled his vision as Mihoshi bent down in front of him, her face now only a few inches away from Tenchi’s. Swallowing nervously Tenchi looked down to avoid showing the hentai thoughts he knew were written all over his face.

Oops. Big mistake. Now he had an unrestricted view of her…

The trickle increased to a steady stream, Tenchi’s breakfast was rapidly becoming something unfit for human consumption.

His reaction did not go unnoticed. Ryoko and Ayeka were shooting looks on setting 'Terminate with EXTREME Prejudice' at Mihoshi. Rivals they might be, but in the face of a common threat they would take the evil they knew over the one they didn’t.

"Ah hahaha… I’m fine, Mihoshi!" Tenchi might be an idiot when it came to women, but he wasn’t suicidal. Fortunately, Mihoshi seemed to accept that and sat back down.

The girls’ glares relaxed… marginally.

Tenchi relaxed slightly, and then tried to calm the rest of his uncooperative body down, now that the immediate disaster had been averted. It wasn’t easy; he seemed to have the image of Mihoshi leaning toward him permanently etched into his mind. How could he think about such a sweet and innocent girl in that way?!

{Am I more like my dad than I believed? Brrrr… What a scary thought!!}

Of all the space girls, Mihoshi had always been the nicest, in Tenchi’s opinion. She didn’t a malicious bone in her whole body, and didn’t know the first thing about being manipulative. Even Washu and Sasami had their darker sides. Part of his reluctance to accept the genius scientist’s affections was due to her often casual mistreatment of Ryoko. Washu’s cruelty to her own flesh and blood turned him off almost as much as her adult form intrigued him. The worst time had been after the visit by the Emperor of Jurai and his two wives.

He’d stayed up late that night, expecting Ryoko to make her customary appearance over his bed, and their usual song and dance that would end with him sending Ryoko to her own bed to get some sleep.

But when she never showed, he had started to worry. The thought that she might have finally gotten the message that Tenchi was not interested never crossed his mind; the day that happened, he’d be looking for the pod that had replaced her.

Tenchi had quietly checked all of the house, then gone to look outside. Ryoko had been nowhere to be found. Finally he’d searched the one place he still hadn’t checked yet, Washu’s lab. With much trepidation, he’d slowly opened the door that led to the deranged genius scientist’s lair.

The scene he found inside had shocked him to the core.

Ryoko, the strong and fearless pirate, the scourge of Kami only knew how many planets, was… crying?

Imprisoned by a familiar looking restraining device, the cyan-haired girl had broken down and was now sobbing like a little girl while she called out for her mommy.

Tenchi finally realized at that moment something that he’d never really thought about before. That, in a sense, Ryoko was still a little girl. In all the years that she had been serving that bastard Kagato, or sleeping within her cave, she’d never had a chance to grow up. During all that time, she had either been a slave or trapped in her astral form. Some things started to make more sense with that realization. Ryoko’s teasing of Ayeka, her constant need to be around him, the uninhibited way she seized life to live to the fullest: all the behavior of a little girl who had had her first taste of real freedom and was reveling in it.

And now with all the barriers down, the real Ryoko was revealed at last. The lost little girl who was afraid of the dark.

Tenchi had brought her down. The sight of pure relief on Ryoko’s face, one that had nothing to do with her usual tricks and was just simply due to the presence of another living being, the fact that she was no longer alone, had brought a deep ache to his heart.

Tenchi had held her close, stroking her hair and murmuring soothing comforts as she had cried and sobbed into his chest. It had been the first time he had ever initiated such an intimate contact with Ryoko. As her sobs had died down to soft hiccups he’d looked up…

…Just in time to see Washu recording the whole thing.

He’d have been willing to bet everything he owned that she had been the one responsible for this, and even worse, had been here and recording it the whole time, too. A soft sigh brought his attention down to Ryoko. The fierce and proud young girl had fallen asleep after finally being freed from her ordeal, a heartwarming smile on her now peaceful face.

"Tenchi…" She’d snuggled closer, drawn by his body heat.

If Ryoko had been awake she would have seen a smile that she’d have sold her soul to have directed at her.

Tenchi had picked up the former space pirate and carried her out of the lab to one of the unoccupied guest bedrooms. But not before shooting a look back at Washu as he left.

It hadn’t been a glare of hate, or disgust, or anger. Washu might have wished for all of those because the look he had given her had been much worse.

In Tenchi’s eyes the crab-haired scientist had seen disappointment, hurt, and worst of all, pity. His stare seemed to bore into her soul, asking how could someone that could be so kind to a little child, be so cruel to her own daughter? Where was the grieving mother that he’d tried to comfort as she mourned for a child 20,000 years gone? What had happened to the intelligent girl who had faced down Dr. Clay and that he’d come to care for, her nurse’s outfit notwithstanding?

'Why did you do it, Washu?' his look had asked her.

Numbly, Washu had dropped her recorder to the ground before erasing all of the tapes she had made of Ryoko’s confinement.

Then she collapsed on her floating chair cushion and wept.

Part 2: No Need for Flashbacks

(Or, The Plot Sickens)

"Pass the soy sauce, please."

The request snapped Tenchi back to the present.

Sasami was beaming cheerfully at him. Ryo-Ohki was perched on her head, nibbling a carrot.

Tenchi sheepishly scratched his head with one hand while he picked up the soy sauce bottle and handed it to the adorable aqua-haired princess. His mind had been wandering again, once more trying to figure out a way to untangle this convoluted mess that was his life.

{Sasami, cute and cheerful, but with a mischievous streak that rivals Ryoko’s…}

The first time they had met, Sasami had made him try to steal her sister’s key, an ornamented headband. Which of course led to him running for his life, while two giant floating logs did their best to vaporize him. And it was all because Sasami was bored.

Then there had been shoujo manga incident. Okay, so maybe it was a little funny in hindsight, but back then it had been a real pain… literally.

Ryoko did not know her own strength sometimes, that kick had hurt a lot. Then there had been the mess she had made in the kitchen when she had tried to cook, and then forgot her concoction on the stove. It had taken him hours of scrubbing to finish cleaning it in time for Sasami to make dinner.

The less said of Ayeka and the rope strung across the stairs the better. Let’s not even mention the waste of yarn for what had eventually become Ryo-Ohki's new bed.

Then to find out that all of their strange behavior was their way of trying to win him, Earth style…

He couldn’t believe it.

Toying with their emotions like that just wasn’t right. Sasami should have known better.

A little voice of guilt reminded Tenchi that he wasn’t totally blameless, either.

[Are you any better, stringing them all along like you have?]

He countered with the fact that while his indecision sprang from truly not knowing which one he really loved, Sasami’s actions had been solely to amuse herself. Besides it wasn’t as if he was actually considering Sasami as anything except a younger sister.

[But what about Tsunami?] The same irritating little voice whispered.

{Tsunami isn’t interested in me. Not in that way.} There was note of doubt starting to creep into his thoughts.

[Are you sure?]

Tenchi started to say yes, then hesitated, remembering the brief time he’d first spent with the Goddess of Jurai after she had healed him of the injuries that Kagato’s ship had inflicted on him. He had never told any of the others about it, not even Washu. Sasami was the only other person who knew about it, for she had been there. Tsunami’s voice had been beautiful, full of compassion and as sweet as a summer orchid in full bloom. And her smile…

Armies would march into the Valley of Death willingly and without hesitation for such a radiance to be bestowed on them. But had it meant something more?

She had held him when she activated the sleeping power within Tenchi, the power of the Light Hawk Wings. That one time Tsunami had been real, the feeling had been one beyond any he could ever hope to describe. For a single moment in time, they were joined as one. He had never forgotten it; even now the memory was as clear as if it had happened only moments before, not so many long months ago.

Had the emotions he’d seen in her eyes really been just simple concern? Or could it have been…

No, that was ridiculous… wasn’t it?

Damn, this pointless wondering was driving him crazy! He’d never be able to do anything about it anyway, he consoled himself. By the time Sasami and Tsunami were one, he’d be married. So why did he feel a brief sense of… disappointment?

Tenchi started to pay more attention to breakfast, to forget the new and disturbing thoughts that were now floating around in his head. He reached for some pickles, then froze as movement from across the table caught his eye.

A small whimper escaped his lips.

Dear Gods, he’d never realized before that the simple act of eating could be such an erotic torture…

Mesmerized, he watched as Mihoshi proceeded to savor and tease a choice bit of sashimi, her pink tongue darting out to caress the soft red flesh that had been dipped in soy sauce, her lips glimmering with the few drops that had escaped.

He swallowed hard. Sweat started to bead on his brow.

{Oh, no… not the MISO SOUP!!}

Tenchi found to his horror that his body would not obey his commands to stop watching Mihoshi eat. As she lapped up the warm white broth, his mind mutinied against his willpower and started to picture her lapping up something else…

Higher brain functions went offline. As if drawn by a magnet, his eyes went down south as Mihoshi continued to polish off her breakfast.

Oh, damn. Those movements the blonde detective was making as she ate were doing interesting things to that sleek physique of hers.

He squirmed and fidgeted to try and ease the growing pressure rapidly rebuilding beneath the table without anyone noticing. If any of the girls saw the problem he was having right now…

{Don’t go there!!! Down boy!! Heel!!}

If it had been anyone else, Tenchi would have sworn that this display was being done on purpose. But this was Mihoshi!

Sweet, innocent…

Sexy… passionate…

{Think of something else! ANYTHING ELSE!!}

An image of Nurse Washu appeared in Tenchi’s head.

It worked like a charm. His libido took a nosedive instantly. Nothing killed hot hormones faster then cold rubber gloves. This tactic had been all that had saved Tenchi recently when Ryoko had decided to try seducing him in bed again. If the space pirate ever realized how close he’d come to succumbing to her bountiful charms, he was so doomed…

But that wasn’t really fair to Washu, his conscience argued.

[So she’s a little eccentric…]

{A LITTLE ECCENTRIC?}

[…But she loves you anyway.]

{…}

At first, he’d never thought about Washu-chan in that way. Objectively, Tenchi knew that she was much older then him, but that kawaii body and act she usually used made her seem more like a little girl to him then a woman. And what a woman she was! Ryoko had definitely inherited her figure from her mother’s side.

The scary thing was that if he ever allowed himself to forget that Washu was capable of anything in the name of science, and that she was older than his planet’s *civilization*, he’d probably be doing the ecchi with her faster then you could say "Jack Daniel’s". Something about that mature beauty she possessed in her adult form just made him so… so…

{…Damn, I’m doing it again! This is all DAD’S FAULT!!}

Of course, his houseguest’s brains were every bit as formidable as her beauty. Without Washu’s help, the Masakis would have been bankrupt long ago from the repair bills alone. And as a tutor she was second to none, although her fee for that service meant that the Prince of Jurai had to keep a sharp eye on his family jewels, lest the sharp redhead wound up owning them.

Tenchi heaved a giant mental sigh. He was lying to himself again.

These were only excuses. The real thing that had changed his perception of her to that of the woman she truly was, had been that second night with Taro in the house. It was a memory he would treasure to his dying day.

-Flashback

Seeing Washu with Taro cradled in her arms had been the closest thing to seeing his mother. His memories of Achika were few, and distorted by the time that had passed since she had left them.

Those few moments they had spent together, alone save for a sleeping Taro, had been…

Had been…

It had come as quite a shock, actually. From the way the scientist behaved normally, he’d never have guessed in a million years that Washu-chan had her tender, vulnerable side. Feelings he’d never known he had surged forth; a strange tugging at his heart, with a nervous fluttering in the region of his stomach. Had he imagined the small blush he’d seen on her face that night, as he sat beside her on the couch?

-End Flashback

If Taro hadn’t woken up… what might have happened?

{DON’T GO THERE!}

[I didn’t say anything.]

-Flashback time again

"Lineage, social status… Why should such things matter so much? That's how grown-ups are. If that's so… I'd be happier being a child, never, ever growing up"

The pain Tenchi had heard in that voice had been eerily familiar. It was all too similar to what he had felt that dark lonely day when his mother hadn’t been there for him, and would never be there ever again. It was at that exact moment that Tenchi had been certain he loved Washu as much as all the other girls that entered his life. Each one had brought a secret pain with her that his heart had done its best to fill, but her sorrow was one the greatest he had ever faced. Words were not enough, there had to be way to show her he understood, to show her that he…

That he…

Imagine his shock when he bent down to comfort the little Washu and got a very close view of "Big" Washu!

Of course, that was nothing compared to his reaction when she declared she wanted to bear his CHILD!!

She couldn’t be serious! Right? Right?!

Right after that bombshell, the Masaki weirdness meter blew a fuse and shut down.

-End Flashback

Still…

Washu did look good on those rare occasions that she resumed her adult form. Too good for his comfort. It hadn’t helped that the genius had been taking a page from Ryoko’s book lately, and had been trying some rather… daring outfits to get the sample she wanted from him. The intruder barrier to his room wasn’t any help; Washu was the one who'd designed it, after all.

{Why me? What did I do to deserve this?}

Here he was, living what most guys would consider a dream life, with beautiful women all around him. Beautiful willing women desperately in love with him, that would be all over him if he gave even the slightest indication that he had picked one. It was a nightmare!

"Tenchi? Tenchi!"

A familiar, kawaii voice broke through the despondent clouds that hung over his thoughts

"Huh? Sasami? What is it?"

"Breakfast is over, silly!"

Looking around, he realized that she was right. Everyone else had left the table, and Sasami was just finishing picking up the last of the dishes on the table.

"Where did everyone go?"

"Well, Ayeka and Ryoko went outside fighting."

"Again?!"

Listening carefully, Tenchi could now hear the distant crashes and explosions that marked another one of their *differences of opinion*. He didn’t even bother to ask what had started it this time; it was safer to just let those two blow off some steam.

"Mihoshi and Kiyone got called to work, and Washu’s in her lab. She said that she’s got a physical waiting for you. What’s a physical anyway, Tenchi?"

"Uh… Why don’t you let me help you with the dishes, Sasami!"

"Oh, thanks!"

Giving a small sigh of relief at having avoided the question (something he’d become quite good at since the space girls had started moving in), Tenchi reached over to get the last plate just as Sasami’s hand went toward it.

His callused hand closed over her small delicate one as she picked up the dish.

"Oh."

A small blush filled the princess’s cheeks at this unexpected contact.

For once, the boy voted "most likely by Anime fans to never get a clue" noticed this. Of course that didn’t mean he knew what to do about it.

Releasing her hand as if it was a red-hot ember, the Masaki boy made haste to transfer the rest of the dishes to the kitchen, before running out toward the carrot fields as fast as his legs could carry him.

Behind him he left a confused and slightly embarrassed Sasami.

"What was that all about?"

[Sasami dear, we need to talk.]

{Tsunami?}

{Yes, Princess. It’s me. I must ask a favor of you…}

To be continued.

Author's note: If any of the internal ramblings seem wishy-washy, keep in mind, that's how Tenchi normally is.

Webmaster: Larry F
Last revision: May 21, 2007