Disqualified Private Bets (The Series?)
Entry Reject #1: An Evil, Evil Idea
A Tenchi Muyo! story
Disclaimer: Tenchi Muyo!, its characters and settings, © Hitoshi
Okuda, AIC / Pioneer LDC, and Viz Communications, Inc. Please don't sue
me for the horror I am about to commit with your characters. The G-guy
ain't mine either.
This idea may or may not have been done before, I'm not sure. Sorry.
"And you are?"
"Grog, divine entity demi-class, probationary. I represent those
really awful drinks you find in only the seediest of bars, and I'm also
the patron guardian of Groo."
That alone should have warned them.
"Agghh! It's a mummy!" Tenchi cried as he backed away in fear
from the pool and the now moving body that had been lying within it.
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A MUMMY!" Screeched the angry space pirate
as she brandished her black bullwhip and cracked it menacingly.
"That's my name…"
The now young and attractive demon stood above him, threatening to send
large quantities of blood spraying everywhere.
It wasn't the floating electrical logs that got him, nor was it that
nasty looking whip she'd been swinging earlier, now resting on her hip.
It was her outfit. Where the HELL had she gotten such a skimpy piece of
black leather? It threatened to violate all standards of decency every
time she inhaled!
Crown Princess Kiyone of Planet Jurai had finally found that villainous
"We must destroy that spaceship of Ayeka's at ANY cost! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"
"I want your balls, please."
"WHAT? NO WAY! YOU CAN'T HAVE THEM!"
"You fool! I mean the jewels in the sword!
"I need the gems to summon Mihoshi!"
"The other demon in the legend!"
The Yagami screamed across the sky, flying like a drunken maniac was
at the helm. Amazingly, it managed to avoid hitting anyone as Mihoshi
picked up Tenchi, Ayeka, and the Masaki House.
"We've detected Mihoshi."
"ALL GUNS LOCK ON THAT SHIP AND FIRE!"
"NO MORE MIHOSHI!"
"Hi! My name is Little Washu!"
There was a brief pause as the sheer kawaiiness of the little crab-haired
princess overloaded Tenchi's blood sugar levels.
"Isn't it just precious? Our very own love child!"
"CHILD? What are you talking about?!"
The large egg's speckled shell started to crack…
"Hiya!" Out popped a gorgeous tanned blonde with pointed ears
and cute little fangs. Her big blue eyes fastened on the surprised Tenchi
and turned into little hearts.
Tenchi had just enough time to realize that Mihoshi was nude, and extremely
well built for a starship, before he fainted.
"MI-HO-SHI! You're supposed to be MY Spaceship!"
"Mmmm…" The female in question was busy cuddling with the
now unconscious boy.
Did you say something?" Mihoshi's cute face popped up from where
the beautiful girl, who also could transform into a heavily armed battlecruiser,
had been nuzzling Tenchi's neck.
Ayeka swore to herself that she was going to be a solo gig from now on.
"Say… Isn't she a bit bigger then the egg she came out of?"
"Don't think about it, Bard. You'll only hurt yourself."
"Where'd you put the sake, Shadow? I need a drink."
"I think I'll join you, Rowan."
A starship fell from the sky. The scary thing was that Tenchi was starting
to get used to that as normal around here.
First Class Detective Ryoko and her partner Ryo-Ohki were rescued from
a subspace portal by one teenaged Masaki.
Along the way, as they plummeted down to the Hot Springs, Tenchi became
better acquainted with the officer's ample attributes.
"I am Pretty Sammy! The greatest Scientific Genius in the Universe!
"Uh… pleased to meet you, Miss Sammy."
"Call me Sasami. Would you like to be a guinea pig for my experiments?"
"All right, STOP THIS RIGHT NOW!!!"
"You know the rules. We don't want this kind of entry around here."
"No, no, no, Tenchi, you can just call me Tsunami now…"
The stunning blue-haired bombshell leaned forward for a kiss.
"Ah… ah… ah…"
"I told you to pull the plug!"
Author's notes: This one was just too weird, even for me. Just can't
continue this, so please don't ask. If anyone else wants to try going
with this idea, be my guest. Just please send me a copy of your story.