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A Tenchi Muyo! story
by Shade

Disclaimer: Tenchi Muyo belongs to Pioneer & AIC.

I promised awhile back that I'd turn this into a fic. Now here it is!

Lime Warning: Mature stuff below. Read at your own risk!


Mihoshi looked around in Washu's Lab. There were so many interesting things to see and touch here, although Washu didn't like her doing any of the latter in here for some reason. But all those explosions after she pressed a few buttons were so cute!

One display in particular caught her attention.

"Ara, ara… what a strange looking gun…"

The label underneath it read, [Warning! Do not use! This means YOU, Mihoshi!!]

"Oops!"

She really didn't mean to trip on a loose cable. And it was random chance that directed her fall toward the pedestal holding the device. Of course, it was by complete accident that Mihoshi's flailing hand hit the exact combination needed to activate the gun as she tried to grab something to stop her fall.

Perhaps it was destiny that guided the beam right toward her as she attempted to get back up. Or maybe something else…

Either way the result was the same.

-Zap-

And so the insanity began…


—A little later

"AAAAUUUUUUGGHHH!" Washu screamed as she opened the door to her lab, and saw a scene that would haunt her for the rest of her life.

Very quickly she shut the door again.

Kiyone rushed into the house to see what the trouble was.

"Don't open the door!" The pale mad scientist gasped as she tried to recover from the shock to her system.

"Don't worry, I'm a trained officer of the Galaxy Police. There isn't any situation I can't handle."

Carefully Kiyone opened the door and peeked inside.

"KIYONE!!" Ten thousand Mihoshis looked back at her happily.

Kiyone's screams soon attracted the rest of the household.

Sasami smiled with a child's glee at the sight of all of these new friends and playmates.

Nobuyuki calculated how much the food bill would now cost; then he fainted.

Ryoko and Ayeka paled as they realized that the competition for Tenchi had just risen to the Nth power. This was bad. This was very, very bad.

Washu's mind blanked out as it tried to grasp the concept of 10,000 exact duplicates of someone who routinely destroyed her lab without even trying. The horror. The absolutely unspeakable horror!

Kiyone was in Hell.


—Later still

"How…?" A dazed and broken green-haired detective stared at the ceiling as she lay down on the couch with an icepack on her head. A chorus of angelic Mihoshis tormented her with their cheerful singing as they danced overhead. She'd though that her life couldn't possibly get any worse. She was wrong… Oh boy, was she ever wrong.

"She must have gotten ahold of my cloning gun."

"You invented a cloning gun… in the same house as MIHOSHI?! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!!"

For someone who had just suffered a nervous breakdown, Kiyone recovered rather quickly.

"I don't think shaking her like a rag doll is going to help solve our problem," Ayeka politely pointed out.

"No, but it makes me feel a little better!" Kiyone resumed her strangling of the greatest scientific genius in the universe.

"We could just blast them."

"Miss Ryoko! How could you even suggest such a thing?!"

"TENCHI!" Several hundred Mihoshis rushed by, as they pursued their heart's desire. The poor boy had received quite a shock when he'd gotten back home from the fields. On the bright side, Tenchi wasn't going to have to worry about not getting enough exercise any time soon.

Ayeka stared at the scene outside for a long moment, before a thoughtful look appeared in her eyes. "Then again… perhaps it would be best…"

"-Urk-… There might… -gag-… be… a… way… to… -choke-…"

"What was that? Speak up, Washu!"

"It might help if you let go of her neck."

"Oh. Sorry." Kiyone released the mad scientist.

Rubbing her throat ruefully, Washu eyed the Detective with care, not eager for a repeat performance.

"I said there might be a way to get rid of them. But you're not going to like it."

"Oh? How so?"

"Yeah, spill it Washu. Anything has to be better then all of this unwanted competition! I can't even sneak into Tenchi's room anymore!"

"Why you shameless hussy!"

"Wanna make something of it, little girl?"

Kiyone and Washu ignored the brawling duo. They'd seen it way too many times to care anymore.

"So what do we have to do?"

"Well, I designed the gun so that any clones produced would have a finite amount of O-energy. All we have to do is drain it out of them, and they'll simply fade away."

"O-energy? I've never heard of it."

"It's short for Orgasm-energy. One of my latest discoveries."

O… o… or… ORGASM ENERGY?!" Ryoko and Ayeka were so shocked that they actually stopped fighting.

"And exactly how does one drain this O-energy out of a person?"

Washu shot the other girls an exasperated look.

"How do you think it's drained, you simpletons? I didn't name it Orgasm-energy for nothing!"

"Then… you mean one of us… has to… with all of them?!" Both princess and pirate turned a little green.

Kiyone didn't look so well herself, but if that was what it took, then so be it. No sacrifice was too great, if it meant an end to this calamity!

"It's not that simple. First of all, each clone has enough O-energy stored inside their body to survive a hundred orgasms."

Okay, maybe there were sacrifices too great to be made…

"A HUNDRED?! You mean we'd have to do it with them a MILLION times in order to get rid of them all?!"

"No."

"Oh."

The girls looked relieved.

"Mihoshi is only interested in one person."

"Wait a sec… if you're saying what I think you're saying…"

"No way! Tenchi is not going to make love to that blonde bubble-head a million times!"

"For once, I agree with you. Lord Tenchi is most certainly not going to sleep with all ten thousand clones a hundred times each!"

"You're not listening girls. Kiyone, how many times can Mihoshi orgasm before getting tired?"

"Oh… Um… She was good for about five hundred, last time I checked."

The other girls' eyes widened.

The detective misinterpreted their stares.

"Wait! It's not what you think! Honest!"

Washu gave her a look that promised further investigation into the matter later. But for right now, there were more important matters.

"So you see, Tenchi would have to bring Mihoshi to orgasm one million, five hundred times."

"OVER OUR DEAD BODIES!"

 

To be continued.

Chapter 2
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