For entertainment purposes only. No infringement intended. Ranma ½ is owned by Takahashi Rumiko. Rurouni Kenshin is owned by Nobuhiro Watsuki.

Author's Note: This isn't canon Ranma or Kenshin; you really don't need any previous knowledge of either to read this fanfiction, though it is helpful. Some ideas were also taken from Samurai X, a prequel of sorts to Rurouni Kenshin.

Any C&C is welcome at: fxffects@hotmail.com

Reviews are appreciated. So is constructive criticism.

Chapter Two: Cat Got Your Tongue?

China
Autumn, 25 years ago

<<<"…you've dug graves for both your family and their murderers," Cologne muttered under her breath, as she shifted the sake bottle slightly in her grip. The young pigtailed child slowly looked up at the shriveled woman, and brushed aside a stray red hair.

"They were not my family. They were a band of slave traders. I was sold to them when my damn father fell into debt," the boy whispered, as he finished setting the last stone into place.

"But, last night, they became more than that," he continued, as he blankly stared out into the distance, tears streaming down his face. "I had wanted to gather them flowers. But all I could find were these ugly rocks…"

"No one could expect more, child," Cologne replied. She slowly hobbled over to the gravesites, and uncorked the bottle of sake, slowly pouring the fluid onto the makeshift graves. "No one should go to Nirvana without having the sweet taste of sake upon their lips," she whispered, as the last of the liquid splattered onto the small stones.

"I could've done more. Father would've expected more," the child retorted stubbornly, idly wiping his face with the back of his bloody gi.

Cologne snorted at the comment, and quickly sized the boy up through the corners of her eyes. "I highly doubt that, child," she replied, slowly turning away from the graves.

"Teach me," the child whispered after a pause, causing the matriarch to freeze mid-step. "I saw you earlier. Teach me to fight like that."

Sighing, she crept up to the top of her staff, and proceeded to pogo off. "I already have a pupil," she called over her shoulder, frowning as she noticed the boy begin to follow her. "Leave me, boy," she barked out, eyes narrowing slightly.

The boy quickly shook his head, and stubbornly folded his arms over his chest. "Teach me," he repeated, frowning, as the shrunken woman stopped cold in her tracks.

"Prove yourself to me, child, and I will teach you," Cologne replied after a pause, turning to face the young boy.

The boy grinned suddenly, and cracked his knuckles, as his eyes glowed a disturbing yellow. "Get me a cat, and I'll show you what I can do…">>>

"Meow."

Kenshin's eyes fluttered open at the sound, her hand already instinctively reaching for the long bundle beside her, senses on full alert.

"Meow?"

Kenshin glanced down at the small kitten in her lap, nearly sighing in relief, as she reached out and gingerly patted the kitten lightly on the head.

"Hey, Yasha," Kenshin murmured, as she continued to pet the kitten, smiling as it purred in contentment at her touch.

Gathering the kitten into her arms, Kenshin stared blankly out the window, as the train slowly ground to a halt.

Kyoto, she thought numbly, as she quietly gathered her belongings, a long bundle and the small kitten, and began walking towards the exit. She quickly slipped off the train car, hopping down the last few steps, and slowly took in her surroundings.

"I'm home," she whispered, a smile tugging at her lips, as she looked about at the nearly desolate station. "Home…"

~~~~~ Interlude ~~~~~

"I'm lost," the traveler growled lowly, as he angrily crumpled the map in his hands, tossing the paper ball over his shoulder.

"Where the hell am I n—?" the traveler began, before noticing a billboard a few feet away from where he stood. As he read the sign, the traveler's mood became much darker, his mouth quirking into a scowl as sickly green flames began to form about his trembling form.

"NO!!! KENSHIN, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

Kenshin's nose wrinkled suddenly, as the tickling sensation in her nose became too much.

"ACHOO! Ah… Sorry, Yasha…"

Ayame sighed softly to herself, as she contemplated the dojo ceiling. Solid oak support beams, a few cobwebs… Oh, look, another hole needing patching in the ceiling. Of all the things she did everyday, Ayame spent the most time contemplating the dojo ceiling.

Twelve thousand, eight hundred forty two tiles, Ayame thought idly to herself, as a trickle of water dripped from the ceiling onto her forehead. Thirteen patches… make that fourteen—

"AYAME!"

"I'm up, I'm up," Ayame mumbled under her breath, as she slowly got to her feet, cursing her sensei under her breath all the while. Ayame looked up at her sensei, still grumbling under her breath, as she assumed a loose fighting stance…

"KIYA!!!"

"Owie…" Ayame groaned, as she slid down the dojo wall head first, collapsing into a heap on the hardwood floor. Ayame sighed softly to herself, as she, again, contemplated the dojo ceiling. Definitely need to patch that hole…

"Saotome School of Musabetsu Kakuto Ryuu," Kenshin read aloud, as she glanced down at a fairly wrinkled postcard in her hands. "I guess this is the right place."

Steeling her nerves, Kenshin slowly pushed open the front wooden gates…

Ayame slumped against the dojo wall, gingerly nursing her fat lip, as her sensei rambled on about the refined art of unrestricted unarmed combat.

Blah blah blah, kick, blah blah, butt, blah blah blah….

"AYAME! Have you been paying attention to anything I've been saying?"

Ayame sighed, and slowly shook her head. Here it comes… she thought wearily, as she braced herself for another rant on the finer points of attentive students.

"I said, there's someone at the gate. Could you go greet them?"

Ayame blinked, as she slowly lowered her hands from her ears. "No rant?" she asked hopefully, as she quickly stood and began inching towards the dojo doors. When no reply was forthcoming, Ayame hurriedly dashed out the doors, her long reddish brown hair quickly trailing behind.

"A koi pond," Kenshin whispered with a smile, as she knelt down beside the small pond, staring at the flashy koi swimming about in the clear liquid. She let out a delicate laugh, as she watched Yasha curiously bat at the large goldfish, quickly jumping back from the pond as soon as its paw treaded water.

"Meow?"

Ayame shifted about in the shrubbery uncomfortably, as she continued to observe the rather stunning redhead.

Now, who is she? Ayame thought idly, as she watched the girl settle down beside the koi pond. Well, no sense in being rude. Sword or not, she doesn't seem all that dangerous.

Nodding affirmatively at her clever reasoning, Ayame quickly stood and dusted off her black gi, before starting to walk over to the redhead to gre—

"Meow?"

Ayame froze in place, as the demonic beast howled its horrible battle cry, the fearsome sound sending shivers down Ayame's spine. Oh gods, no… Its horrible, blood-thirsty cry caused Ayame to slowly inch away, somewhere, anywhere, as long as it was far away from that hideous being. That starved, hungry, ravenous…

Japan
Summer, 4 years ago

<<<"Are you sure momma said you could do this?" an eleven year old Ayame asked, as she stared down into the dark pit, all the while scratching at the sausage links wrapped about her body.

Genma rolled his eyes, as he finished tying on the last piece of meat, and patted Ayame reassuringly on the head, as he gently pushed her towards the edge of the pit.

"Of course, of course, Nodoka gave me her blessings; now hop into the pit before mommy gets back from the market…"

… Half an hour later… "AAH!! AAH!! FLUFFY, NO!!!!! ARG!!!! MOTHER! &$#^_^^@&#^, OW!!! AAAAAH!!!"

Genma sighed heavily, as he stared down into the dark pit, now covered with steel mesh. "Have you mastered the nekoken yet, girl? Girl? Ayame??"

Genma began to sweat when no reply was forthcoming, and glanced frantically at his watch. "Oh gods, only half an hour into the training, and she's dead already. Doka-chan's gonna kill m—"

"AAH!! CAT'S GOT MY TONGUE!!!! AAAH!!! HORRIBLE PUN, I KNOW!!!! ARG!!!!!!"

Genma sighed in relief, as sounds of renewed anguish floated out from the pit. "Oh good…">>>

Ayame shivered at the memory, sweat trickling down her face as she relived the moment. T-the claws, the teeth, the horrible biting and bad puns… Fluffy's chilling grin as he tugged at her tongue…

"Meow?"

Kenshin giggled softly, as she reached over with a small handkerchief to dry Yasha's damp paw.

"Silly kitt—"

"AAH!!!"

Kenshin rolled to one side, the long bundle in her grasp already unfurled to reveal a scabbarded katana, as she quickly searched the area for the source of the noise.

"C-C-CAT!!!"

Kenshin blinked in confusion, dropping her guard, as she watched a red-haired girl, no older than fifteen, scream in horror and dash away from her. "Oro?"

Genma sighed to himself as he walked over to the visitor, adjusting the handkerchief slightly on his bald head as he watched his seemingly possessed daughter dash by in a blur.

"The gods help me… What a hopeless daughter."

He tisked softly to himself at his daughter's disgraceful exit, and quickly walked towards the visitor, who was slowly wrapping up a rather worn katana up in a purple cloth.

"Help you, miss…?" Genma asked, blushing lightly, as he got his first good look at the lady visitor. Oh my…

Kenshin glanced up from the bundle, and quietly stood up, tucking the bundle under one arm. Standing straight, she slowly looked a now red-in-the-face Genma up and down, occasionally scrunching her nose, as she scratched at the back of her head, seemingly deep in thought.

"A bit more wrinkly, a bit fatter… and bald… arms look a bit flabby…"

"I beg your pardon, miss?" Genma sputtered out, flustered by the woman's rude, albeit accurate, evaluation of himself.

Kenshin bit back a light giggle, blushing slightly as she realized how rude she was being.

"Sorry, pops, it just seems as though life at home's made you a bit soft," Kenshin joked, as she playfully punched Genma's right arm.

Genma's face flushed red with anger, as he restrained himself from knocking some sense into the strange girl. "Now see here, miss…"

"Tsk tsk. Father, father, father. Don't you even recognize your own son?" Kenshin asked with a grin, as Genma froze, mid-sentence, his mouth hanging open in shock.

"R-Ranma?" Genma sputtered, as he slowly reached out and poked Kenshin's forehead, still in disbelief.

Kenshin bobbed her head cheerfully, as she spread her arms, dropping her bundle onto the ground. "Dad, it's so good t—"

Still quite shocked by the turn of events, Genma slowly looked down, and pointed in shock at Kenshin's chest. "B-but, y-you…"

Kenshin sighed, and gently tugged open her hakama, exposing her red bra. "I thought you already knew abou—"

Genma's mind nearly shutdown, as he noticed the bra. Seemingly in a daze, Genma reached over, and quickly yanked open Kenshin's hakama completely, baring her breasts.

"GACK!"

Ayame peered out from behind the dojo walls at the stranger and her father with some air of suspicion.

I don't trust that woman, Ayame thought with a frown, as she watched the two carefully. Anyone who owns a c-c-cat can't be good, she reasoned.

Her eyes nearly fell out of their sockets, when she saw the woman expose her chest to her father. THAT HUSSY!

Ayame nearly fell over when her father reached over and completely tugged open the woman's hakama.

THAT CHEATING BASTARD! she thought angrily, as she reached into her gi, quickly whipping out the mallet Akane-san had loaned her the other day. C-cat be damned, those two are so gonna die, Ayame thought resolutely, as she dashed forward from her vantage point, mallet at the ready.

"PREPARE TO DIE, HUSSY!!! POPS, YOU PERVERT!!!"

~~~~~ Interlude ~~~~~

"O-o-oy! Look, I said I'm sorry about the billboard! I'll pay for another one! O-oy! Damn!"

The traveler slammed his fist against the cell wall, as he glared at the prison guard reclining opposite the bars in a rickety wooden chair, quietly dozing in the afternoon heat.

The traveler continued to slam his fists into the cell wall, which was slowly cracking under the traveler's fists, as the green flames began to flicker about his body again.

"CHE! CHE! CHE! SPRICHT JEMAND JAPANISCH HIER?!"

To be continued.

Author's notes: You may be wondering why Genma was so surprised about Kenshin's breasts. And why Kenshin/Ranma (who are one and the same, of course) wasn't freaking out around the cat. Well, yeah…. Wait for chapter three, everything will be explained then.

Oh yah, "spricht jemand japanisch heir" is German for "does anyone speak Japanese here". Well, I dunno if it's grammatical structured right an' all, but…

For those who care, this story is set sometime during the early 1990's.

Webmaster: Larry F
Last revision: May 21, 2007