A Ranma ½ / Rurouni Kenshin crossover story
by Kesshi Mashin
Disclaimer: Ranma ½ characters property of Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Kitty, and Viz Video. Rurouni Kenshin is owned by Nobuhiro Watsuki, Jump Comics, and Sony Pictures. For entertainment purposes only. No infringement is intended.
Prologue: The Madness Begins…
Happousai peered into the Nanban mirror, his decrepit features threatening to crack the mended mirror once more. "Now, what to wish for…?" the old pervert pondered, scratching at his bald head in thought, withered upper lip crinkling in thought.
It was a truly horrible sight, so horrible that it actually did manage to create a tiny fissure in the reflective surface of the magical artifact. This small detail went largely unnoticed by the grandmaster of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts, however; his attention was still diverted by thoughts of how to use the mirror.
A red bob of hair peeked out from below the alleyway wall, soon followed by a pair of expressive blue eyes. Those said eyes widened considerably when they caught sight of the lech and the mirror, and with a grace that only came with years of training, Ranma-chan leapt over the brick barrier. "The old fart's got it!" She landed at a dead run, and, with a grim look of determination, launched herself at Happousai, arms extended. "Gotcha!"
Casually redirecting the buxom redhead with a slight tap of his pipe, Happousai slowly ambled out of the secluded alleyway, allowing a small grin to form on his wrinkly face as he heard his pupil cry aloud and slam into a cluster of garbage cans and other trash. "Ranma, m'boy, when will you ev—"
Panda-Genma hefted another sign, the word "WHAM!" scrawled on the wooden panel, and brought it down upon his master's head, driving the small pervert into the cement like a nail with every pound. "Growf, growf!" Not wishing to leave anything to chance, the pseudo-panda continued to hammer Happousai into the pavement with his multitude of signs, seemingly pulling them out of thin air in continuous succession.
A rather disheveled looking redhead stumbled out of the nearby alley, and walked over towards her furry father, nodding in approval at his handiwork. "Good job, pops," she grudgingly complimented under her breath, flicking off a stray banana peel from off her shoulder. "You get the mirror ye—"
Ranma-chan abruptly ended her question, gaze snapping back down at the pile of wooden boards in the middle of the sidewalk as the hairs on the back of her neck stood up on end in alarm. "WATCH IT!"
The pile of signs suddenly exploded outwards, sending wooden planks flying out at dangerous speeds towards the pair and various other innocent bystanders.
The smoke began to clear after a slight pause, and a sooty but otherwise fine Happousai peered out from his makeshift foxhole at the scene that greeted him. Bodies laid strewn about the street, dazed or knocked unconscious from the blast. His two ungrateful pupils were fastened securely to the opposite walls by a handful of signs, both apparently unconscious as well. Happousai's grin returned with a vengeance as he noticed the state of Ranma-chan's shirt, and with a bound in his skip, he hopped over and got in a quick grope. Unfortunately, the old pervert didn't notice her eyes snap wide open as he made contact with the twin objects of his desire, until it was too late…
Genma-panda peered up at the airborne figure of his master, watching as it slowly disappeared over the horizon. "Growf-growf." He paused, and, after a bit of rummaging, pulled out a marker and another spare sign. **Nice punt.** He reversed the board, and scrawled something on the back. **Did you get the mirror?**
Struggling to cover her exposed chest, Ranma-chan spotted the sign from out of the corner of her eyes, and snapped her fingers in remembrance. "Ah, dammit…"
"Ungrateful students," Happousai grumbled to himself, as he made a show of dusting off his tiny gi and pants. Giving the mirror a quick once-over, he nodded to himself, and peered intently into the magic mirror. "I know what I want," he thought aloud, snarling ever so slightly as thoughts of his students' treachery filled his mind. "More than all the panties or boobies in the world." He hesitated after that statement, but quickly shook his head and firmed his lips, resolute in his decision. He tightened his grip on the mirror's handle, and took the final plunge. "Give me the perfect disciple." He paused for a moment, waiting for his wish to be granted.
He stood there for a good minute or so, before his memory kicked in. "Oh yeah…" Rummaging about through his pockets, Happousai pulled out a small onion bulb. "Almost there," he cackled softly to himself, as he crushed the bulb in his other hand; carefully, he brought the remnants up to his face, and stood there for a few more seconds. His eyes began to water from the vapors, and, with a small cry of joy, he lifted the mirror up to his cheek, watching in anticipation as a sole tear rolled down his face and onto the reflective surface. "Perfect disciple…"
…Shinta sneezed softly, and rubbed at his nose with the back of his sleeve, as the slave caravan slowly made its way along the country road…
End of Prologue
Author's notes: Taking a break from Darkening Horizons and Waters of Change, the idea suddenly came to me while reading the latest chapter of Broken Pieces. I dunno why, I guess because talk about Hiko and Kenshin's relationship came up… *Shrugs* Well, the idea came to me, and, after much debate, I decided to run with it. PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! Well, at least wait until chapter 2. ^_^;;
Total departure from seriousness ahead. Approach with extreme caution.
And you thought Hiko was bad… ^^;;
— Written to the soulful musical styling of Alicia Keys —
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