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A Ranma ½ fan fiction story
by Cute Kitsune Kaydee

Disclaimer: Ranma and its characters and settings belong to Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Kitty, and Viz Video.


Ranma stood silently in the empty lot next door to the Tendo dojo, to see if anyone would show up. He had invited all those who felt or had decided they had the right to marry him.

He looked up and saw someone, and in a frigid tone said, "Enter."

"Ranma…"

"Akane. Make yourself comfortable," he said, indicating the lawn chairs he had set up.

Akane shrugged and sat on a lawn chair.

Ranma watched as Akane sat in the lawn chair looking at him now. 'What did I ever see in her?' he thought. Ranma continued to wait. ‘Man, they're late.'

Ranma glanced towards the street as he heard, "R-Ran-chan."

'About time, Ukyo.' "Come on and have a seat," said Ranma.

Ukyo walked into the lot and blinked at all the lawn chairs, and then sat uncomfortably next to Akane. 'I wonder what Ranma meant when he said he had "made the big choice"?' thought Ukyo as she watched Ranma.

"Nihao, Airen!" Shampoo called as she bounded onto the lot moments behind Ukyo. "You choose me?"

Ranma laughed. "Sit down, Shan Pu. Now!"

Shampoo blinked and quickly sat in a lawn chair.

The three "true" fiancées were here, but Ranma still waited.

The girls sat there, and Ukyo and Shan, getting somewhat bored, pulled out their pokéballs and started a pokémon battle.

'Sheesh,' thought Ranma. 'Is fighting all they can do…?' "Wait a minute," he mumbled to himself. "Where the heck did they get pokémon?"

Slowly other people showed up. Genma and Soun were drunk and laughing. They expected an "Akane" choice right now. The Kunos were there too. Ukyo and Shan ignored them and concentrated on their pokébattle. Some of the other guests were blink blinking at this. They wondered when Ukyo and Shan had become pokémon trainers.

Ranma had not spoken a word to anyone since Ukyo and Shan had started their pokémon battle. He looked over at them and saw Shan's Vulpix breathe out fire attacks in the shape of mini bonbori and Ukyo's Pikachu retaliated with an attack of mini-spatulas made out of electricity. The guests also began to wonder why Ranma appeared to be so calm when they all knew that he could be causing a lot of trouble with what he had to say today. Ranma knew there would be trouble; several people would be hurt and others were going to be confused. 'Man, will they,' he thought. ‘Hmm, I'm already confused. Where the hell did Ukyo and Shan get pokémon?'

Ranma glanced around the lot one last time as he prepared to speak. "I am glad to see that all who received my letter showed up. I would also like to thank you for being patient and civilized while you waited. Well, except for Ukyo and Shan, who are currently using what should be anime characters to battle each other. Where the hell did they get those things? Anyway, as I said in my letter, I have made my big choice. And by that I mean that I have decided to whom I will formally propose; after that, I am no longer an eligible bachelor. This means that anyone else who felt that they could claim me without my consent will be beaten to within an inch of his or her life. I am not joking. I am not trying a new technique. This is real, and this is final, and… Oh my god! Would you look at that?"

The reason for Ranma's last sentence was plain to see. Ukyo and Shan had started their pokémon to attacking each other and both of Ukyo's and Shan's shirts were now ripped completely apart. Their "assets" were now plainly visible. Ryoga took one look and got a goofy look on his face, made weird noises, and passed out with a nosebleed.

"Hey, mate, what's all the ruckus?” asked a voice in a shadowy area. Ranma looked over and saw a blonde guy in jeans and a leather jacket.

"Hiya, Spike," he said. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh I've got something important to tell you and… Hey, are those pokémon?" Spike asked, pointing to the pokémon battle and Ukyo and Shan, who were now wrestling each other. "Wow!" Spike drifted off toward the battle to watch the pokémon… and also Ukyo and Shan's naked breasts.

The lot was utterly silent as all this went on, and then Ranma stepped towards the crowd. He reached behind his back and pulled out a small black box. Finding his beloved, he bowed on one knee and opened the box. He then poured cold water on his head. He became Ranma-chan for this.

"Will you marry me, Kaiou Michiru?"

Michiru looked startled. Then she blushed and finally accepted.

The fiancées just stared at the cute green-haired violinist, and then figured out what they had done. Then all hell broke loose… literally. Spike had gotten distracted by Ukyo and Shan and had forgotten to warn Ranma that the Hellmouth under Nerima was about to open. Everybody was shocked to see the demons. Well, except for Ryoga — who was still passed out — Ukyo and Shan — who had gone from wrestling to "other activities" — and Spike, who was watching their "activities", grinning, staring, and drooling.

 

 
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