Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Bubblegum Crisis is owned by ADV and JVC/AJC. Dirty Pair owned by ADV and Takachiiho & Studio Nue/Sunrise Future.

-One hundred and seventy-eight kilometers above Mega-Tokyo

Yuri fought her way back to the Bridge as Kei frantically started flicking switches, trying to get the Lovely Angel under control. "Kei, what the hell just happened?!" She dodged involuntarily as a defense satellite missed their ship by scant meters.

"That's a Mark Nine-five laser satellite. Who the heck still uses them?" Her voice put them up there with the medieval reconstructionists or folks who ran around in furs, knocking dinosaurs on the head.

Yuri took her word for it, as her mind oriented the scene before her. "Uh. Kei?!"

"Yeah."

"Does that planet we are heading for at a very, very high rate of speed look familiar to you?"

Kei looked up, her eyes widening, "That's Old Earth," she gasped.

"It gets blown up, you know. They ARE going to blame us. Remember, be circumspect"

"Huh?"

"Don't attract any attention."

"Oh. Okay."

-Future

"Inspector," The patrolling officer didn't salute, instead choosing to twist her neck, unkinking it. "When the Lovely Angel was 24 hours overdue for check-in, we dispatched a Search and Rescue team to Acton. Gods, what a mess."

"I see this is your first time dealing with the Dirty Pair, Officer Kiyone."

"Yes, sir. "

"And have you tracked down the Dirty Pair?"

"Well, sort of, sir. I think so." she pulled out a note pad.

The Inspector peered gravely at the officer; "You seem to be taking the stress well."

"Oh, after my last partner, they're simple to deal with."

The Inspector’s grave peer turned extremely confused. "Simple?!?"

She smiled, "Straightforward. We believe that they are in XXI-century Neo-Tokyo."

"Records from the period were largely destroyed, but it appears as if they worked with a group called the Knight Sabers. They seemed to disappear the same time as the Tokyo Tower was destroyed."

"Makes sense. They are the Dirty Pair."

"Of course, we identified three other places in time and space where they also might have appeared: XIX-century Pre-Catastrophe Nerima, late XXI-century Ross Ice Shelf around the time of the Second Impact, or Third-Era Middle Earth. Records of all three periods are sketchy at best. I'm sure they'll be okay, sir," she concluded.

"Oh. They'll be okay. Cockroaches are harder to kill."

"Yes, sir. But they are highly-trained, well-armed cockroaches, sir."

He studied the report, not responding to her statement. "Dread Pirate Roberts. I hunted him when I was on patrol. I even fancy I was the only one ever to catch sight of him. Tall, middle-aged fella, well-built, always wore a mask."

"Sir, all reports we have of him say he's short, young and slender; he does wear a mask, though."

"Hrrhumm. I wonder if he's the same fellow. MO's the same; ship’s the same. There must be some mistake."

-Mega-Tokyo

Kei cautiously pulled the covers off of her head as another Youma bit the dust, "Is it over?"

"Yeah," her partner pouted, turning off the flat-screen television.

"Thank the kami!"

"I been working, you know. I found couple of pieces interesting information." Yuri continued in her ‘I’m not paying attention to you because you’re a party-pooper’ voice, "First, there is this group we really should find. They look high-tech enough to fix the Lovely Angel, since neither of us really trust Genom that much."

"Who are they?"

"Oh? Oh yeah. They call themselves the 'Knight Sabers'."

Kei nodded, "How are we gonna find 'em? I picked up some information on them as well. They are very secretive. Unless we rob a bank, we can't afford to hire them"

"Oh, yeah, they are mercenaries. It's real easy; we just find a rogue boomer. Eventually they'll show."

"Quit wrinkling your nose, I still think that thing we killed on the vacation world was one. Oh, before I forget, I found her. Priss and the Replicants are playing not more then a kilometer from here."

Yuri started humming under her breath.

"Great." Kei rolled her eyes.

"Come on, the show will begin any minute."

"If you ask her to sing that song once, I'm leaving, you do realize that?"

"Philistine."

-Mega-Tokyo, Raven's Garage
-A week later

"I'm bored! I want to blow up a boomer."

If Priss or even Linna had said it, nobody would have though twice, Nene thought to herself as she set up the latest tape.

"Sylia, you've got to admit, those two girls are effective."

"A bit too enthusiastic, if you ask me."

"Now, Priss, how would they know that you wanted to go to that shop on Cheapside before they blew it up?" Nene said soothingly.

Humor dancing in her eyes, Linna asked, "Priss, how is your favorite Replicants fanatic?"

Nene affected a deep Slavic accent, "Yuri sounds like a nice person."

She shifted back to her normal voice, "Maybe a trifle deranged, since she does like that song."

Priss flipped her a bird, her humor seemingly restored.

"Here is the only tape that that the ADP has of the those two in action," she started the machine.

A boomer stood amidst the rubble, a blown-apart cop car at its feet. The photographer suddenly jerked the one side, as a voice called out.

A woman stood silhouetted on the roof of a nearby building posing heroically, as her long dark hair somehow managed to catch a breeze.

"The sprawl of Mega-Tokyo is a hive of unspeakable and disgusting acts, where the citizens already live in fear. It doesn't need an evil boomer like you to make things worse! In the name of the 3WA, I shall punish you! I am the beautiful soldier Lovely Angel, and this is my sidekick, Lina-chan."

The figure wore a Sailor ‘V’-style mask, a bikini that made the Sailor Senshi uniform look modest, and carried an awful lot of lethal weaponry. Her partner was equally obviously female, and had her hand to her face. "I swear I don't know her…" She bopped her associate, "’Partner’, The Sailor Senshi are fictional characters. And why did I get Lina Inverse for a nickname?"

"You’ve got red hair, right?"

At the other woman’s quick nod she hurried on, "And you do like to blow things up. And you’ve got a really short temper."

"But my breasts are much bigger."

Sylia stared, "You are kidding, aren't you?"

Mackie stared and drooled.

Priss and Linna just stared.

She sighed, incidentally proving her point, and hefted her weapon, which was somewhat larger then ‘Sailor V's’, "I don't see 'em."

The boomer smiled. A sign that it was clearing its gunport for action.

As it did so, ‘Sailor V’ threw a card, cleanly missing the first time, but ricocheting off a building and slicing off one of it's machine guns. Her companion, the gunbunny, went full-auto and hosed the boomer down. Hurt, the boomer fired back, as the two almost casually moved to one side. As they dodged bullets, the fascia of the building the card had hit tumbled between them, and fell on top of the boomer.

‘Sailor V’ pulled out a grenade and tossed it at the feet of the boomer, as her partner flipped the selector switch on her gun and fired a rocket of some type.

"I want one of those," Priss breathed.

It was just about then that the power supply on the cop car exploded, sending out a wall of flames, the shock wave knocking the cameraman off his feet.

Nene continued. "The Fire Department was able to put out the fire, but six blocks were destroyed." She held up her hand, "Yes, those two did survive."

Sylia spoke up; "We've got to arrange a meet."

Priss muttered, "While there is a Tokyo left."

-Lovely Angel's apartment
-Next Morning

"Yuri, look at this." Kei waved the newspaper ad section around.

Yuri snatched it from her partner, read, and whistled, "Great, the Sabers want to meet us."

To be continued.

Webmaster: Larry F
Last revision: May 21, 2007