A Ranma ½ / Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon crossover story
C&C appreciated: firstname.lastname@example.org
Disclaimer: Ranma ½ and its characters and settings belong to Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Kitty, and Viz Video. Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon belongs to Takeuchi Naoko, Koudansha, TV Asahi, and Toei Douga, and DIC.
August 11, 2002
Ranma stared incredulously at the girl in front of him. She had short blue hair in a style similar to Akane's, though they were not alike in any other way.
The day had already become strange the moment he saw a black cat with a moon-shaped tattoo on its forehead trying to talk with him. Or at least it sounded that way while he was running away as fast as he could from the sight of true terror. One could never tell in those types of situations.
Then, when he was trying to catch his breath from all that running, a strange girl carrying a small computer approached him. She said that she was relaying important information regarding the pigtailed martial artist from someone else. Having heard what she had to say, Ranma was, to say the very least, shocked.
"My name's Ami," the girl interrupted.
Ranma nodded and continued. "So, Ami, what you're saying here is that after months of searching, you and your friends, the Sailor Suits—"
"That's 'Scouts', Ranma," Ami corrected. "Actually, we prefer to be called 'Senshi'."
Ranma shrugged. "Same thing. So, from what you're trying to tell me, you guys think that I'm some reincarnated warrior from the past?"
"That's what the signs emitting from you seem to showing." Ami points at her computer and adds, "Also, your descriptions seem to match those of a Sailor from the Silver Millennium."
"Ah, yes… about that…." Ranma scratched his head, thinking of a way to ask his question. "Do I have to wear a miniskirt?"
"I believe so."
"Goodbye." Ranma turned around and started to leave. There was no way in hell he was going to be caught wearing something similar to what Ami was clothed in.
"Wait!" The Senshi desperately tried to think of something to say that would bring Ranma back. "Becoming a Sailor can cure most of your problems."
Those words caused Ranma to halt, his interest suddenly piqued. Turning back towards the blue-haired girl, he asked, "Will it be able to solve my fiancée situation?"
"Most likely not." Before Ranma could do anything, she said, "But it can help in slowly curbing and curing your fear of cats. And during the periods when you're a Sailor, you won't be noticed by others or affected by your Jusenkyo curse."
Right away Ranma was beside her. "Where do I sign up?"
Ami smiled. "I'm glad you agreed. Now I just have to find your name." The shorthaired girl turned to her computer and started searching through it. "Now, lets see… which one are you…. Sailor Earth? Nah, too easy. Sailor Sun? No, you'd burn up… Aha! I've found it!"
And thus Sailor Toutatis had returned.
The Sailor Senshi were in trouble.
The Youma of the day, a demon from the deepest pits of hell which was covered in what looked like dried-up blood and which had long sharp objects protruding from most of its body, had them cornered. The look on its face, drool coming down from its huge teeth, gave them an idea of what its next meal would be.
While Sailor Moon was trying to convince the monster of the hazards of trying to chew on the flesh of magical girls, a large bright ball of light, brilliant enough to cause them to turn their heads away, encompassed the beast. Within seconds, all that was left of their enemy were ashes.
When the light dimmed enough for them to turn back towards where the Youma once was, they saw a redhead dusting off her hands.
"Wow!" Ranma exclaimed, "This Sailor'ing stuff is pretty easy!" For a moment there she was worried that she'd have to transform.
The pigtailed girl turned towards the yellow-haired girl whose name she'd learned to be Usagi. "Yeah?"
Sailor Moon paused and stood still, as if she was hearing something from somewhere else. "Just got some word from Luna. She says that you're supposed to transform before fighting the Youma."
"Why? It's not like I need the extra strength to defeat it." To Ranma, the only real use for the transformation was to help with his problems, and for when he wanted to be obscure to those in Nerima.
"Yeah, well… you see… It's that, every time we transform, the path towards Crystal Tokyo gets one step closer. Kind of like those credit card plans where when you buy something, you get special bonus points." Sailor Moon started to sniffle. "Except, when I finally got enough points to buy the dress I wanted, they said my points already expired! THOSE BIG MEANI— OW!" She turned around to see who was it that knocked her on the head.
Ranma blinked at the scene in front of her before saying, "Oh… okay." She had no idea what the other girl was talking about, but from the sound of it, it seemed important. 'Guess I'll have to be a guy next time.' Sighing, she said, "I'll transform during the next fight."
Ranma ran as fast as she could from the Youma chasing her, bottle of warm water gripped in one hand. 'Just my luck to be the nearest to it! ‘Course I end up forgetting to transform. Or change into a guy, for that matter…' Lamenting on her situation, she was now trying to get as much space between her and the Youma as possible.
Turning around and seeing that there was some distance between them both, she upended the bottle's contents on herself, changing back to her true gender. Right away Ranma grabbed hold of the transformation pen and changed into Sailor Toutatis.
The initial transformation felt strange. And when it was complete, he had to say something; as if his past self was causing him to open his mouth and shout out to the world.
"Halt, vile creature! For in the name of whatever the hell is Toutatis, I shall punish you!" Ranma decided from that point on he would never say the speech again. 'All right, big, bad and ugly, time to get destroyed, Saotome-style!'
That was when Ranma felt a draft around his legs. Looking down, the pigtailed boy saw that he was wearing a red and white miniskirt with a huge blue bow and matching red boots.
"ARRRRGGHHHHH!" He clawed at the clothing, trying to rip it off, only to find that it stuck to his body like glue.
Grabbing a bottle of cold water, Ranma, feeling that being a girl would make the situation a bit better for the moment, splashed himself with it. Nothing happened. Ami was right — Jusenkyo curses were stabilized while one was in Senshi form.
While this was happening, the Youma closed the gap and leaped high in the air, ready to pounce on its unsuspecting victim. Before it could complete its descent, hundreds of small sharp objects pierced through its body.
Ranma was pried from his current dilemma when he felt green-colored droplets falling on his hand. One second later a torn-apart Youma plopped onto the ground, more green blood gushing out of its body. Looking further down, he saw a brown-haired girl in a blue and white miniskirt.
"Those who try to harm others will find themselves halted by I, Sailor Gienah." Seeing that the Youma she attacked was too busy with having its blood being soaked by the ground, the girl turned her attention elsewhere. "Ranchan!" she squealed jubilantly, running up to the still-skirted pigtailed boy and hugging him with all her might. "I'm so glad you're alright!"
"Uc… Ucchan?!" Ranma was shocked. Just what were the chances that someone else in Nerima was also a Sailor Senshi? Then he realized something; he was disguised and yet Ukyou knew who he was. "Just how did you know who I really am?"
Looking up at him, joy etched on her face, Ukyou answered, "Because you're my true love. And true loves always know who the other is, no matter what. Same thing with you."
"Well… I did know who you were," Ranma said, trying to laugh heartily, hoping that Ukyou wouldn't say anything else about it. Seeing the spatula on her back, and knowing that any hits from it would be stronger at the moment, made him realize that it was for the best to not tell her the only reason he knew was because she called out his name.
He suddenly realized something. 'Wait a minute, if Ucchan's a Senshi, then could the others…?'
Meanwhile, back in Nerima, Akane was getting prepared for one of the most important moments in her life. She sort of knew where Ranma was, but for the time being it didn't matter.
Ever since a week prior, when a strange white cat told the girl of her past life, Akane had been feeling different. She now knew how some of the more advanced techniques worked, whereas before she understood it just as well as Gosunkugi understood magic, which wasn't saying much.
But now everything changed. The techniques — it all made perfect sense, from how one went about learning them, to the way they were invoked during a fight.
She even went as far as sparring with Ranma, marveling him with how good she'd become. Even if she did wind up losing in the end, the look her fiancé had — one of surprise, along with a hint of joy at her improvement — was worth more than anything else in the world.
Now there was only one more thing to do — to take care of one of the biggest annoyances in her life.
Akane didn't understand why, but it had seemed that her rival was bothering her even more so the past week.
First was when she went to bed, only to find out too late that it was covered in noodles. Along with it was a note saying that even after being slept on it would taste better than her cooking.
A few days later, Shampoo's bike had 'somehow' gone off trajectory and fallen on top of her. The worst part of that was when she got up, both the Amazon and Ranma were gone.
The time when the girl hopped on her head, jumped off and screamed, 'Nyah-Nyah! You can't catch me!' while running away, sticking out her tongue while doing so, was the last straw.
Seeing that she was at the right place, Akane entered the Nekohanten, no trace of fear on her.
Catching sight of her, Shampoo asked, wry smile on her lips, "What kitchen-destroyer want? Give up on Airen to superior? If so, Shampoo accept."
Giving off a small laugh and looking at the Amazon straight in the eyes, Akane said, a false tone of innocence to her, "But how would that be possible when you're not my superior?" Seeing that it got the right reaction from Shampoo, her smile turning to scowl, the shorthaired girl snarled out, "All those months ago, you gave me the Kiss of Death, since then bullying me around like I was trash. Well, after this past week, enough is enough! I don't have to take your abuse anymore! So come out with your foolish pride and let's see you fight me." Pointing her finger towards Shampoo, she said, "I challenge you for Ranma's hand. The winner will be his wife."
Shampoo let loose a low, deep chuckle and got into a fighting stance. "Shampoo hold Akane to it." And with her great-grandmother nearby to acknowledge the validity of the fight, she would finally be able to remove one obstacle from her marriage to Ranma. It would be fun wiping off the smile from her opponent's face.
Once outside, Akane initiated the attack and charged at Shampoo, sending a fist aimed for her midsection. The attack was easily dodged by the other girl, who leaped over her.
Smirking at her opponent, Shampoo taunted Akane. "That all pervert-girl got? Shampoo as good as married to Ranma."
Grinning, Akane felt it was time to bring out the big guns and teach the haughty Amazon a lesson. "Oh, I've got a few tricks up my sleeve." She screamed out, "Bakusai Tenketsu!" which caused part of the street to explode upwards. Akane waited in anticipation for the look on the Amazon's face once the debris cleared….
She didn't expect to see Shampoo rolling on the sidewalk, laughing out loud. "Yo… You think that you able to defeat Amazon… with…." Unable to finish what she was saying, she began to laugh all over again, clutching her stomach while doing so. "That stupidest thing Shampoo ever see someone do! Maybe Akane want Shampoo to lose by laughing too, too hard."
That was when two huge chunks of granite landed, one on each side of where her head was. Immediately getting up from the ground, she said, "That just luck. It not even hurt." Shampoo wiped off the tears coming from the corner of her eyes, brought her hands together, and said, "Shampoo think she had enough laughter for the day. Will be generous and end Akane's misery early."
This was unexpected, but Akane still had other moves to defeat Shampoo with. 'No Amazon techniques, eh? One roast Amazon coming up!' Looking grim, almost feeling sorry for what the other girl was about to go through, she cupped her hands. "Moko—"
Akane was shocked when she saw the green ball of ki dissipate halfway towards her target. 'How? Even if Shampoo knew the technique, I have more power than her. She still should have been knocked out cold by that.' Her eyes suddenly widened. 'Unless….'
Pulling out her black transformation pen, Akane saw an equally stunned Shampoo, who was holding a purple-colored pen that was similar in every other way to Akane's.
Both girls turned their attention towards the sky and gave off a loud scream of frustration.
Sailor Arrakis, aka Shampoo, and Sailor Deneb, aka Akane, had met again for the first time.
Throughout his time as Tuxedo Mask, Mamoru Chiba had learned many different things.
At this moment he was learning the hard way that being lifted against a wall by an angry martial artist is no fun.
"So now tell me," Ranma growled, "Just why was I wearing a skirt when I transformed as a guy?"
"Well," Mamoru gulped, trying hard to pay attention to the message he was receiving, "From what Luna's telling me over the receiver, you were a girl in your past life. So when you change, your powers only recognize you as a girl. If there's any good news, you are starting to lose your fear of cats."
"Yeah, that is true," Ranma sighed, lowering the other boy. "But," he said, pulling Mamoru back up, "That doesn't explain why I was never told that Ucchan was a Senshi."
"Actually, she, along with the other two girls we found, told us—"
"OTHER TWO!" Ranma screamed, dropping the person he was holding onto.
Rubbing his bruised rear, Mamoru said, "Yeah, some purple-haired Chinese girl and a short-haired girl that looks like Ami." Mouth open in order to say something, he suddenly screamed out in agony, a very loud voice on the other end of the transmitter in his ear saying, "WE DO NOT LOOK ALIKE!"
While the older boy was dancing the dance of excruciating pain, Ranma was busy banging his head against the wall, muttering, "It can't happening."
After the hurting stopped, Mamoru straightened himself and asked, "So, is there anything else you need to know?"
Looking back at him, Ranma said, "Yeah, did any of us actually end up with someone? For that matter, was I able to make a choice?"
"Hmm… Nope. They spent all their time chasing you."
Having an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach, Ranma forced himself to ask, "I thought you said I was a girl back then?"
"So they were all guys?"
"No." Before Ranma could exhale, Mamoru continued, "They were all lesbians." The pigtailed boy stared back at him, as if he was trying his hardest not to comprehend what was just said. 'He seemed to take that well.'
Shaking his head, trying to forget what was just said, Ranma continued with his questions. "And just how did we all die back then?"
"Oh, that one's easy. You died in a suicide attack, causing one of Beryl's ships to explode. The other three were on the ship, arguing over who had the right to stay and die with you."
"You know… I'm not surprised anymore."
"Oh, yeah, and it seems that afterwards Tuxedo Betelgeuse was lamenting over the tragedy and that you died while pregnant with his child."
"Who…." Then Ranma comprehended the second part of what Mamoru said. "I WAS WHAT?"
Mamoru took a few steps back so as to prevent himself from again being at the other end of Ranma's grip. "Though he does tend to exaggerate things a bit; actually a lot. That and he was rather obsessed for Sailor Toutatis." Closing his eyes, he slowly began to remember bits of his past. "It is strange that I'm unable to remember much about him. But it does seem that we had secret meetings for bokken practice." Though he could only vaguely recall it, Mamoru did know that it included some very special techniques, such as the 'Thrust! Thrust! Thrust!' technique, or the 'Backdoor Shove', to the very special 'Deep Penetration and Jerk'.
Ranma, while Mamoru was reminiscing, immediately placed Tuxedo Betelgeuse on top of the list of people he never wanted to meet. "Was there anything good from that life?"
"Hmm… Seems that you've had a secret — as far as the other girls and Betelgeuse went — relationship with Sailor Algol. Though I have no idea who that is at this point, if she was even reincarnated."
Ranma wasn't so sure if he wanted to know.
The rock-covered Youma bellowed out in rage, ready for its onslaught of destruction and terror — or it's immediate death, whichever came first.
It stopped and noticed a girl in a black and white miniskirt.
"Your evil days…. Oh, will you stop whining and come out?!"
"I don't want to."
Seeing that it'd take more than two Senshi to pull her out, Sailor Deneb sighed. "Will you please wait for a minute?" she asked the Youma, who was still waiting for the speech to end, before walking away. A few seconds later she was seen dragging a reluctant Sailor Toutatis onto the scene. "The other's are on vacation and we have to fill in for them. And you've already changed! So help out!"
Staring listlessly at her enemy, Sailor Toutatis said in an equally languid tone, "Hark, oh vile force of destruction! For your time has—"
Interrupting the speech was the sharp sound of a rose whizzing through the air, landing in the space between Toutatis and the Youma.
All looked up and saw a man in a blue suit, wearing a mask — though with no top hat — perched on the roof of a nearby building, his cape billowing softly in the air. Giving a slight chuckle, he said, "So it seems both of my Goddess' and I are fated to be through thick and thin, as I have always known." Pointing his cane at the Youma, he shouted angrily, "Vile demon! You dare to defile girls so innocent with your evil ways? I shall not have it! Fear not, my loves! For Tuxedo Betelgeuse has arrived!" And with that, the soon to be hero to all leapt onto the scene—
But before he could land and deal his punishment, Toutatis' fist met with his jaw, sending Betelgeuse off into the horizon.
"You know," she said slowly, so as everyone around her can hear, "I first became a Senshi because I thought it would help out with my problems." Grabbing the nearest object, which was the still-motionless Youma, she began to repeatedly slam it against the ground. "BUT NO! All this did was make things worse! Just. What. Did. I. Do. To. Deserve. This?!" She punctuated each word with a chi-backed punch onto her temporary punching bag, unmindful of the other's bones cracking.
"Toutatis?" Deneb cautiously asked. "You do realize that it's dead already?"
The look on the other girl gave showed there'd be much pain inflicted on anyone who tried to prevent her from releasing her frustrations.
Backing away, Sailor Deneb forced out a laugh, saying, "On the other hand, continue with what you're doing. We'll… uh… return in a bit," before running off with Sailors Arrakis and Gienah.
Ranma sighed. She very much didn't want to be here and in Senshi form. But protective instincts took over after hearing that the others were in trouble.
Scanning the scene around her, Ranma saw that others were barely fighting — some were unable to even stand up — with Tuxedo Mask seemingly in the best condition of them all. And in the middle of all that carnage was the monster he was to be up against; a demon whose entire body consisted of eyes of different sizes, all of which were staring directly at Ranma.
"Air— Toutatis! What should we do?"
Thinking over the best course of action, Toutatis looked at the three girls behind her. "I have an idea. But we must—"
A loud cough caught everyone's attention. "Well, I'm not one for huge speeches, especially when others are in trouble. But, never fear, for Sailor Algol is here!"
Still looking around to find the source of the voice, everyone, including the Youma, found themselves eying a small figure near an alley.
Raising a pen above her, Cologne incanted the words to begin her transformation. As she began to spin around, the others were able to see her nude form, even with all the flashing lights surrounding her. Once complete, all saw Sailor Algol in her true glory; still old, along with a skirt that didn't cover enough.
All was quiet… until the many-eyed Youma gave its response to this — committing suicide by blowing itself up, showering all those around it in Youma-bits.
Others responded with retching sounds, while Tuxedo Mask hopped around like a madman, covering his eyes while screaming, "My eyes! My beautiful eyes!"
While all this was happening, Ranma stood still, eyebrows twitching every few seconds. Taking a deep breath, she said, "Okay, that's it! I've had it!" Turning around, still covered in goo, she walked away, saying, "Find some other idiot to take this abuse!"
A few days later…
Lying on top of the Tendo Dojo roof, Ranma sighed in content. "Man, am I glad I don't have to go through that Sailor stuff anymore."
Just as he finished saying that, a blue light began to shimmer in front of him. Moments later, a floating, regal-looking woman with long blue hair appeared.
"At last!" she exclaimed joyously. "I have found our legendary hero!"
"Who," Ranma said, backing away, "are you?"
Brushing away her lovely locks, she answered, "I'm Tsunami, Sorceress of Baldscalp. And you," she said, pointing at the pigtailed boy, "are our destined warrior…"
"Hey, Hiroshi," the taller boy said to his friend as they surveyed what was going on. "I believe Ranma has finally snapped."
Nodding in agreement as he saw Ranma chasing a pretty girl who seemed to be running for her life, Hiroshi added, "Maybe after being chased by four girls for so long, he wanted to do a little chasing himself."
Daisuke sighed. "And more than likely that girl is just going along with it for fun. He'll probably get her in the end. And she even looks like a goddess. Damn, Saotome has all the luck."
Looking forlornly back at what was going on, both could almost swear they saw the girl flying away, Ranma close on her trail.
Author's notes: Don't ask how I ended up getting this idea…. Just don't ask. This was a fic I started on a long time ago (actually wrote 15k of it in one night). Have no idea why I was suddenly in the mood to actually finish this. Probably writer's block… Although Corwin can be partially blamed for my sudden interest with finishing this. Oh… No one was tortured into prereading this ^_^
By the way, the names are real, and were the result of searching the net for all of five minutes:
Oh, and in other news, 'No Need for Ranma' chapter 2 is around 70k at the moment, though nowhere near complete. It's times like these that I wish I had Brian Randall's speed at writing. ^_^;
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