A Ranma ½ fanfic
Disclaimer: Ranma ½ and its characters and settings belong to Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Kitty, and Viz Video.
Warning: No pre-readers were used at all (and it might show).
Leaning against a wall inside the Tendou Dojo, Ranma stared at the note in his hands. 'Well, here I am…. I wonder where Akane is.'
Looking around to see who else was here, he asked, "So all of you got a notice from Akane?" As they all nodded, he took note of those gathered. 'Pops, Mr. Tendou, Ryouga… Kunou… Hmm… Shinnosuke?' Stunned by the presence of the last person, Ranma approached the broom-carrying boy. "Hey, Shinnosuke! Wondering wat'cha doing here?"
The other boy stared back at Ranma, trying to recall who he was, before shaking his head and replying, "Akane told me she had a very important decision to make and needed me here." A longing sigh escaped his lips as he said, "Ah, Akane…. I'm so grateful that I can remember who she was and arrive here on time. By the way, where is here?"
Ranma, though, was too stunned by what he had first heard to answer back. "Important… decision?" was all he was able to get out before moving away from the other boy so as to get his thoughts together. 'Akane didn't tell me anything about a decision. Did she…. Could she have changed her mind about Shinnosuke after all this time?' Trying to regain some of his swagger, Ranma murmured, "Feh, not like I actually care about that uncute….” But he was unable to finish, doubt and concern filling his thoughts.
In an attempt to alleviate some of his worry, he walked towards his father and Soun, who were in the middle of a conversation. Hearing parts of what they were saying, which included 'finally uniting the schools' and 'daughter making the first move', caused the pigtailed boy to pause and rethink his action.
"So the foul sorcerer no doubt knows of the reason for this special occasion — to see the noble Tatewaki Kunou take part in his greatest victory ever. I had no idea thou art such a gracious loser, Saotome."
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" Ranma screamed back at the Furinkan High kendo team captain, glad to have his mind occupied by something else for the moment. If there was one thing the martial artist was sure about with concern to the current situation, it was that Kunou had not been invited because he was Akane's choice. 'More than likely so that he doesn't cause any problems later on.'
Before anything else could be said to the kendoist, the door to the dojo slid open as a figure stepped through, casting a shadow over all of the occupants. Sporting short black hair and wearing a dress normal to girls going to Furinkan High, utmost attention was paid upon the person. There was, though, something different….
"Say, Tendou," Genma asked, "is it me, or does your daughter seem to be bigger than the last time we saw her?"
Nodding his head solemnly, Soun replied, "You're right, Saotome." Reaching what he deemed to be the correct reason for the situation, tears fell from his eyes as he said joyously, "Isn't it wonderful? My daughter's already pregnant with Ranma's first child!" And with that, he pulled out a pair of paper fans and started celebrating with his friend.
While the others were arguing over the reason behind Akane's sudden largeness, Shinnosuke looked carefully at the figure standing near the front of the dojo. Certain of what he was seeing, he said, "That's not Akane. It's a giant chicken!"
Everything became instantly quiet as everyone stopped what they were doing to stare at the semi-amnesic boy.
"I thought you said you'll always remember Akane," Ryouga said in a betrayed tone, not knowing how one who loved the Tendou girl so much could forget how she looked.
Soun added harshly, "Boy, I can well assure you that I know the difference between my own daughter and a chicken. And that—" He pointed to the subject of discussion, who at that moment was pecking the wooden floor in front of it. "—is most certainly Akane!"
Shinnosuke, though, was adamant with his view. "But I tell you, it's a giant chicken! A giant chicken!"
"LIES!" Kunou screamed out in fury, thrusting his bokken forward until the tip was touching Shinnosuke's nose. "If thou should know what's good for thee, thou shall not speak any more offal about the pure Akane Tendou with thy tongue." Chuckling to himself, he added, "Next thing I know, thou shall try to convince I that Saotome and the pigtailed girl are one and the same, or that my peers think that I'm a delusional buffoon. But the great Tatewaki Kunou can tell a lie from the truth."
While the others were trying their best not to say anything, Ranma saw that his friend was in trouble and so grabbed Shinnosuke's hand, pulling him outside. "Maybe the dojo was too stuffy and your memory got warped as a result. Some time outside with fresh air should help out."
Shinnosuke tried to protest. "But—"
Ranma cut him off, saying, "We'll talk about this later," before tossing the boy outside and shutting the entrance. 'Poor guy. I guess he doesn't have a chance to be chosen by Akane.' Having taken care of that situation, he walked towards his fiancée, who was looking around the dojo. "So, Akane, what was this important decision you wanted to talk to us about?"
Flapping her arms as if they were wings, Akane replied, "Bak-ba-kaw! Bak-bak."
As everyone inched closer to her, Soun asked, "So, daughter, you've chosen whom you are planning to marry? Who is it?"
Shaking her head sadly, Akane said, "Bak-bak-bak-bak-bak! Ba-kaw!"
There was dead silence as everyone looked as if they just saw a ghost.
"You—" Genma started.
"—chose—" Ryouga continued.
"—Konatsu?!" Ranma finished, not believing what he had heard.
"Bak-bak-bak?" Akane asked, sounding confused.
"Of course none of us knew!" Ranma shouted, his emotions running wild. "I mean, when did this happen?"
Staring at the floor, she replied quietly, "Bak-bak-ba-kaw. Bak-bak-bak-bak."
"In the back of an alley near Ucchan's during the middle of the night?" Soun asked before breaking down in tears.
Patting his friend's back in an attempt to console him, Genma said, "There, there, Tendou. Just remember, it could always be worse. Why, imagine if you had No…." Sudden realization came upon him as his eyes grew wide. "Uh-oh."
Ranma tried to come up with a reason as to how this happened but was unable to. "Akane, but… why?"
"Mount Jusendo?" Ranma whispered. "I… well, what I mean to say is…." The pigtailed boy silently cursed his inability to tell the truth even at that point. Taking a deep breath, he blurted out, "Yes! I did say 'I love you!' on Mount Jusendo!" Softly, he added, "But I guess it's too late now."
Due to Soun's piercing wail, no one else heard what Ranma said. Continuing his crying, he wondered aloud if his daughter had 'different preferences' which could only be satisfied by cross-dressing male kunoichi.
Sitting next to his best friend, Genma went over all possible excuses he could tell his wife as to why their manly son ended up losing his fiancée to a girlish male ninja.
As others were going over their grief, Ryouga found the courage to ask Akane about her choice. "Umm… Akane? Well, I—"
"Ryouga!" Ranma cut in. "Why are you so worried about who Akane chose? Don't you have Akari?"
"RANMA! I…." Sheepishly, the Lost Boy realized he couldn't think of a good enough reason to tell him why he was worried about whom Akane had chosen.
"Let me guess," Ranma said bluntly. "You couldn't decide between Akane or Akari and so wanted to find a way to have both."
"'Tis the way of a true samurai," Kunou interjected.
Deeming Ranma's question not worthy of a response, Ryouga grabbed Akane and asked, "Why?"
Staring back at him, Akane said, "Bak-bak-bak-bak-ba-kaw!"
Releasing his hold, Ryouga stepped back as if he had been shot. "Bu-bu-but I can explain, Akane!" Twiddling his fingers, he stammered, "P-p-p-p-chan… About him… Well, you see…."
Gently guiding his beloved away from the Lost Boy, Kunou asked, stroking her feathery hand, "Why have you broken my heart as such, Akane Tendou? What does this boy have that I, Tatewaki Kunou, do not?"
"Bak-bak-bak-bak-bak-bak," Akane replied, pecking the top of his head with each cluck.
Tears streamed down the kendoist's face. "'Tis such a sweet poem from such a sweet girl. My love for you shall always ring true, but I shall move on and maybe one day find a love as great as this."
The door to the dojo opened as a familiar voice called out, "Is everyone here? I'm sorry I came so late."
Turning their attention to the front of the dojo, everyone in the room received quite a shock.
"T-tw-two Akanes?" Ryouga said, aghast at what he saw.
"How?" Genma asked.
Blinking at the scene before her, Akane asked, confused, "Why are you all playing dress-up with that giant chicken?"
"What giant chicken?" Kunou questioned, looking back at the Akane who had recited to him that lovely poem not too long ago. Deep in his mind he knew Saotome had something to do with the two versions of his beloved.
"Hmm…" Knowing that something suddenly seemed off with what had happened, Ranma walked to the Akane near Kunou, grabbed her hair and yanked it off.
"Zounds!" Kunou shouted in astonishment. "Now there's one Akane and a giant chicken in a dress!"
Ranma placed the wig back on Chicken Boo's head.
"Now there are two Akanes!"
Ranma pulled it off.
"One Akane and a giant chicken in a dress!"
Ranma placed it back on.
Ranma pulled it off.
"One Akane and a—"
Ryouga ended the kendoist's misery by placing a well-timed blow on the back of his head, knocking him out for the next few hours.
Appearing by the door, Shinnosuke said, "See! I told you that was a giant chicken!" Looking next to him, he spotted Genma, who did not want to be around when Akane finds out that they mistook a giant chicken for her, attempting to sneak out. "Who are you?" he asked.
One splash of water later:
[Why I'm just a cute panda!] the sign read before Genma-panda, holding a tire in his other hand, turned it around. [Look what I can do with this tire!]
"Shinnosuke, you remembered!" Akane said happily as she approached her friend.
"How could I forget, Akane?" he replied, returning the smile. It turned into a frown when he remembered something. "Just… where are we?"
While they were getting reacquainted with each other, Chicken Boo was calmly walking around, pecking the floor every now and then, not taking notice of the danger he was in. The sound of someone cracking their knuckles brought his attention to where Ranma stood, glaring menacingly from a close distance at the chicken in a dress.
"Okay… Now tell us, what was all that for?" the annoyed pigtailed boy asked. To his left was Ryouga, equally annoyed and gripping his umbrella tightly. On his right was Soun, ready to do one of his greatest demon-heads ever.
"Bak… bak… bak?" the giant chicken said, cowering before the three.
"Not good enough."
Within a split-second, Chicken Boo was hurtled through the dojo's roof, disappearing over the horizon.
"And that is that," Ranma said, dusting off his hands.
"So, how long have you all been waiting?" Akane called out, looking apologetic for the delay.
'Oh, yeah! The important decision.' Ranma replied, "Not that long. What did you want to speak with us about?"
Akane smiled brightly at that. "Well, everyone knows how Ranma keeps going out to be around Shampoo and Ukyou, right? Not that I care or anything, but I wondered to myself just what did they have that I didn't."
As Ranma was opening his mouth in response, Ryouga cut him off by slapping his hand over it before he could have said anything.
"After some deep thinking, I realized what it was. And so…." Everyone closed in to hear what it was. "I'm going to open my own restaurant!"
Everyone except Shinnosuke facefaulted.
"Nabiki said she was going to get someone here today that would help out with the advertising. I wonder where could he be?" Holding that off as something to question her sister about later on, Akane asked, "So what do you think of the idea?"
Everyone that was conscious and not in cursed form didn't know what to say. Soun was continuously splashing himself with cold water, hoping that it would miraculously transform him as it did his friend.
Shinnosuke finally broke the silence by saying, "I think that's a wonderful idea! Everyone knows how good a cook you are!"
Smiling at him, Akane said, "Thanks! What about everyone else?" Wanting to hear her fiancé’s answer first, she turned towards Ranma.
"You know," the pigtailed boy said, "I think I felt a whole lot better when it involved the other decision."
Konatsu sighed as he took account of the available ingredients in the storage room of Ucchan's. 'Why is it that almost every customer decides to order chicken okonomiyaki today?' Looking at how much he had in stock, he thought, 'Not much remaining, and the customers are still coming.' Staring towards the sky, he asked, with the faintest of hopes of receiving an answer, "Just how am I going to get enough chicken in time for Ukyou-sama?"
A few seconds later Chicken Boo came crashing through the ceiling. As the dust was clearing, he looked around to see just where he was.
Hearing the faint sound of steel being drawn, he gazed up to see a feminine-looking ninja wearing a sinister smile that was very much out of place with concern to his other features.
"Ba-kaw?" he asked, trembling in fear….
Author's notes: A long time ago, after reading a fanfic called 'Tenchi Booyo!' by Mike Fenton, I had an idea for a Ranma fic involving Chicken Boo.
Then I decided to hold off on the idea for some time, thinking that no one else would write such a fic….
So here I am with the second Ranma/Chicken Boo crossover. ^_^;
Here's hoping it gave a few laughs.
Thanks to the following for their C&C on this fic:
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