A Sailor Moon/ Ranma ½ crossover story by
Disclaimer: Ranma ½ and its characters and settings belong to Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Kitty, and Viz Video. Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon belongs to Takeuchi Naoko, Koudansha, TV Asahi, and Toei Douga, and DIC.
Slowly, Ranma awoke, the early morning sun bright in his eyes. His entire body was sore, and at least two ribs were cracked. "Damned Old Pervert!" At least he didn't have to worry about the little panty thief for a while. Sitting up, Ranma surveyed his surroundings. They were, he decided, not even close to his room, where he had collapsed the night before from exhaustion. His father was lying on the other side of a burnt-out fire, snoring loudly. Surely the Tendos hadn't kicked him out, now that Happosai was no longer a threat? Sure, the engagement between himself and Akane hadn't been going too well, what with the constant abuse and hospitalization he endured, but the fathers wouldn't have let a little thing like someone else's life get in the way of fulfilling their sake-induced dreams. No, something else must have happened. But what?
While Ranma was trying to figure out just what kind of predicament he had somehow gotten himself into, his father was stealthily approaching him from behind. Soundlessly he readied himself to kick his son in the back of the head, and finish it off with a prime insult on his manhood. The sneaky attack never made it through to Ranma, though, since Ranma no longer seemed to be sitting on his bedroll. Instead he rested comfortably on Genma's outstretched leg. Had he blinked?
"Lay off, Oyaji. I'm thinking!" Ranma growled, still perched on his father's leg.
Normally Genma would have used the opening his son had left to enquire upon how much thinking must hurt him, but he was too excited. Today was the day that they reached Jusenkyou. Years of searching had finally culminated into one magnificent moment as he said, “Quit whining," he kicked Ranma into the air, but his son landed easily on the tip of index finger, then used it to spring up to a standing position, "we’ve got a big day ahead of us. Jusenkyou should be just around that mountain over there, if the Guide was correct."
Several things clicked in Ranma's mind all at once. That fateful day where he had received his curse had started exactly as this one had. Except for him being in a slightly different position and the outcome of the fight his father had tried to start being decided several minutes later, everything was the same. Oyaji had said those same words, and possessed the same glazed look in his eyes that some people could mistake for insanity or drunkenness; but to all those who knew him, it was just another sign of how remarkably stupid the man was. Hurriedly Ranma lifted his shirt and saw the dark blue and purple bruises he'd acquired fighting Happosai. Good; he still had his body, fully trained and only slightly worse for wear. Ranma didn't know how, didn't even want to know how, but he was over two years in the past. He could fix everything! Running to the small stream they had camped beside, Ranma doused himself with water. Nothing happened! The curse could be easily avoided, as could the entire Amazon situation. If he played his cards right, he wouldn't even have any fiancées. At the worst, he might end up with Kasumi or Nabiki. That wasn't so bad.
"…you listening to me, Boy? Get packed. We're leaving!" bellowed Genma. Why was Ranma splashing himself like an idiot? He seemed a little taller. Must be a trick of the light.
To Genma's utter surprise, Ranma said, "That’s right. We're going right back to Japan," and started gathering his meager possessions. First things first. He had to get his mom and her damned katana from over his head. Ranma had no fear of convincing his mother whether he was manly or not. Without the curse, he was almost her ideal man; though he wouldn't act like a complete pervert like she wanted him to. Ukyou wouldn't even be problem. Whenever or wherever she showed up, all Ranma would have to do was not tell her she was cute, and instead of a fiancée, he would end up with another rival who hated his guts. They were much easier to deal with.
"Ranma, what nonsense are you speaking? Of course we aren't going back to Japan! Not until we visit Jusenkyou." Genma stood waiting, expecting Ranma to give in at any second.
Needless to say, Ranma stood his ground. After five minutes of steadily telling his father that there was no way in hell that they were to Jusenkyou, the older man attacked his son. Even though he was injured, Ranma was far from outclassed. The whole reason that he'd fought Happosai was because the pervert had found an ancient vault equipped with a powerful demon-summoning apparatus. For over a month, Ranma had been the subject of so many demon attacks that some weird magic girls, the Sailor Senshi, had started patrolling Nerima instead of their own Juuban. The time spent fighting demons allowed Ranma to fight all-out against opponents who were oftentimes stronger or even occasionally faster. With no constraints, Ranma's technique had, for lack of a better term, bloomed. Chi now flowed more rapidly and efficiently through his body, adding strength and speed to his already impressive abilities. It also had the effect of increasing his durability. The bruising on his chest was a prime example, having been the only damage taken when a giant Happosai had batted him across Nerima with a concrete telephone pole. Genma was quite simply beaten down.
Genma had gone so far as to use the forbidden techniques, thanks to a really convenient flash of memory, against Ranma, only to find that his son not only knew them, but performed them better than he, the creator of the techniques, did. It was very educational for the man. The lesson being to go along with Ranma until he could figure out how his son's ability and knowledge had increased so dramatically. Unconsciousness came swiftly.
Some time later that day, Ranma happily walked farther and farther away from Jusenkyou and the Amazons. He'd been thinking, and had decided that if he wanted to keep using the techniques learned from the Amazons, then he would have to change the names, at least, and in the case of the Hiryu Shoten Ha go so far as to alter the spiral pattern used to ignite it, and possibly, if was possible, change the color of the cyclone. Anything less, and he could find a whole tribe of Amazons breathing down his neck wanting to know why he was using their stuff, and how he'd learned it in the first place. The Umisenken and Yamasenken were simpler. His idiot father from the future had finally taught them to him in their entirety, and he was keeping them.
Genma almost begged Ranma to allow them to go back. He would have, if he hadn't felt an odd sensation as they left the valley. It was his danger sense. But it wasn't warning off approaching danger. No it was the feeling he got whenever danger passed. Thinking back, he saw that he'd been so excited that their journey was nearing an end that he'd ignored his own senses. Maybe Ranma was right. Oh, well. The faster they got back to Japan, the faster that the Tendo and Saotome lines could be joined. Now, which one of Soun's daughters should Ranma be engaged to…?
Akane came storming into the house after school, chanting, "I’ll kill him," repeatedly.
"Akane, whatever is wrong?" asked Kasumi sweetly.
"Kuno is what's wrong! He told the whole school that the only way anybody can date me is if they beat me up first! I'm going to go to my room now and think of ways to make his death more painful." She picked up the school bag that she had thrown down in anger and started to march upstairs.
"Hold on, Akane. We have visitors, and father wants you to meet them."
Akane sighed in resignation. It was probably just another of her dad's old drinking buddies. "Okay. Let’s get this over with." Her father, along with Nabiki, was gathered around the sitting room table with a man and woman. Behind them, lounging lazily, a boy about her own age rested.
"Ah, Akane, Kasumi found you," her father said cheerfully. “Say hi to the Saotomes. Genma is my oldest friend and was once my training companion. This lovely lady is his wife Nodoka, and their son is Ranma."
"Pleasure meeting you all," Akane replied with as much courtesy and politeness as she could muster.
"You have such wonderful daughters, Tendo-san!" exclaimed Nodoka. "I really must see about getting one or two of my own." She elbowed Genma and grinned at him lecherously and quite unashamedly.
"Yes, that would be great. Now, since we're all gathered," Soun looked to Genma who nodded, "Ranma, these are my three daughters; choose one and she will be your wife."
Akane gasped, as did her sisters. He'd gone too far this time! She looked at Ranma and saw a stupid grin plastered across his face. Great, just great! He was a hentai!
Nodoka cleared her throat demurely, but in a manner that caught everyone's attention. “I’m sorry to do this, since I it appears you two have your hearts set on uniting our families, but I never agreed upon this arrangement. Therefore, I'm sorry to say, there will be no marriage between the Tendo and Saotome families unless those entering into matrimony do so upon their own free will."
There was a sharp intake of breath from the two older men, then Soun began squalling like a baby and Genma began shouting. He went on for a couple of minutes, questioning his wife's sanity, honor, parentage, and right to make decisions concerning their son. It stopped, however, when she reached to her side and began carefully unwrapping a silk bound object. Instantly Genma assumed an expression of unbelievable innocence that no one believed. "Sorry, dear," he muttered.
Nodoka smiled brightly and said, "Besides, my friend Noriko Kino and I decided long ago that our children would marry!"
Akane was relieved that she wouldn't be engaged to a boy, but at the same time she felt sorry for Ranma, who she now knew must have been smiling because he knew that he wasn't going to be forced to marry her or any of her sisters. His smile had slipped from his face as his mother told them of her plans, and a sickly grimace took its place. He began muttering under his breath and Akane could faintly hear him counting backwards from ten repeatedly. She did that sometimes, so she would be calm enough not to kill Kuno. Ranma must be very upset.
"Mom, are you joking?" Ranma asked seriously. When his mother shook her head in negation, Ranma's face darkened further and he began breathing raggedly.
Damn! Things were getting weird. Since when had his kooky mother been arranging marriages for him? She sure hadn't mentioned it before time had reset! And why had she waited until now to tell him? They had been home for two days, plenty of time to bring up an arranged marriage. He sighed in frustration. Nothing could ever be easy for him. Oh, well, if it didn't work out with him and the Kino girl, he could always leave. It was not like he cared enough for his parents that he couldn't do without them. And honor be damned! He lived by his own code of honor, and it didn't say anything about being forced to marry a girl he had never even met.
They left the Tendos early in the evening with promises to return for a visit or dinner sometime. The walk to the bus stop was long and boring, so Ranma decided to forego the entire thing and took to the rooftops. Without exerting himself too heavily, he arrived home within fifteen minutes, a trip that would have easily been triple that on the bus. He entered through the back of the house and made his way to the kitchen. He hadn't eaten anything at the Tendos, and he was ravenous. A minute later he had a four-inch thick sandwich in hand, and a whole bag of chips tucked under his arm. Sitting down in the living room, he sat his food on the coffee table and grabbed the television remote. Flipping past a surprising number of adult channels, he eventually found a Sumo match and relaxed while he ate.
Behind him he heard the doorknob turned, and was surprised that his parents were home so early. The bus driver must have been in a hurry. With his guard lowered— there was no more food, so Genma wouldn't be a problem— Ranma was taken totally by surprise by a well-placed blow to the back of his head. He flew off the couch and barely avoided impacting the TV by flipping himself around and springing off the wall. Reoriented and unaffected by the attack, he saw that his attacker was a tall, brown haired girl in a school uniform.
"Who are you?" she demanded, “And what are you doing here?" Finishing, she took up a tight karate stance that left her right side terribly open to several debilitating attacks.
"I'm Ranma, and this is my house!" Ranma shouted at her. The journey back to Japan had been a month of freedom from fiancées and their violent attentions, and he'd be damned if he let some complete stranger start bashing on him again.
"Ranma? Ranma Saotome?" Ranma nodded. "Ah, damn," she mumbled. "I was hoping you wouldn't come back."
"Just who are you and what are you doing in my house?"
"I'm Makoto Kino, and I came to visit Aunty Saotome." She hesitated and took a deep breath. "I am not going to marry you!" she suddenly exclaimed.
Marry. Kino. 'Ah, damn' was right. Would it really hurt to have an at least peaceful or halfway-dignified meeting with one of his fiancées? "Look," he said calmly, "Makoto, I have no intention of marrying you either, so don't worry about it."
Her eyes narrowed. “What’s that supposed to mean? Am I not good enough for you?"
His parents really knew how to pick them. "Jeez. Don’t go jumping to conclusions. I just meant that I'm not gonna let anybody force me to marry someone that I don't want to marry."
Makoto eyed him warily. He seemed sincere, but it could all be a ruse to lull her into lowering her guard so he could attack her. That is, if he wasn’t really Ranma. If he was… she still wasn't going to marry him. He was cute, though.
It was at this time that Ranma's parents entered through the slightly ajar front door. "Oh, Makoto-chan. I see that you've already met your fiancé!"
"Uh huh," she answered weekly. He was really her fiancé. Kami-sama, the other girls were never going to let her hear the end of it. Usagi was going to be very, very annoying.
"Don't mind us. Genma and I will go pick up a few things for dinner." Nodoka hurried her still upset husband out of the house. They had been indoors for no more than thirty seconds.
Ranma returned to his seat on the couch and motioned for Makoto to join him. When she had, he asked, "Do you mind explaining how we got engaged?"
Leaning back, Makoto began, "Aunty says that ever since they were girls, seven years old I believe, that they planned to have their children marry each other. My parents died a few years ago in a plane crash, so they never told me. Last year Aunty showed up and told me about the engagement, but since she hadn't heard from you in so long, I thought that you were dead or had run off. So much for hoping."
Ranma didn't say anything. He just turned his attention back to the TV and tried to remember what he'd done to piss off Kami-sama. It was really the only explanation. Even when he got a chance to fix a lot of the bad parts of his life, new ones kept cropping up. At least Makoto didn't seem like a hormonally imbalanced maniac.
Almost an hour later, Makoto finally got the nerve to speak. "Aunty Saotome says that you've been on a training trip for most of your life. You should be really good right?"
"Yeah. I'm the best you'll ever meet," replied Ranma with absolute confidence.
Makoto snorted. It was a wonder that he wasn't floating around the room with his head as swollen as it was. "Want to spar? I'd like to see how we compare."
Ranma shrugged indifferently. Sparring didn't mean that he had to hit her.
Ranma frowned to himself. Makoto really sucked. Akane could have taken her down blindfolded. Of course, she had started screaming at him when he gave her an assessment of her skills. That was why he was currently leaning against the door to his bedroom so that Makoto couldn't get to him. Denied entry, she had taken to pounding on the door repeatedly and the sound was really starting to get annoying. It was also giving Ranma a headache.
"Come on, cut it out! I said I was sorry!" Ranma shouted.
If anything, the volume and strength of the assault on the door increased. Between bone-jarring impacts, Makoto demanded, "Get your ass out here and let me kick it!"
Damned Tomboy. Couldn't his mom have gotten him hitched to a nice, non-violent girl?
Damned jerk! If only she could get a hold of him when she was transformed. Then he'd beg her not to fry him. Maybe she could get a thunderbolt under the door. Nah. She didn't want to blow up Aunty's house, even if the woman's son was an insufferable piece of shit. Just as she was sure that he would give up, her communicator began to beep. Another time, then.
Makoto rushed to the bathroom and activated the small screen of the wrist- mounted device. "What’s wrong, Ami?" she asked after seeing the girl, already transformed, on the other line.
"There's a powerful monster and a giant gnome fighting in Cherry Hill Park. We haven't been able to get a hit in edgewise, and could really use some help."
"I'll be there as soon as I can, but I'm in Nerima, so it'll take a while."
Makoto waited until she was almost a block away from the Saotome home before ducking into an alley and transforming into Sailor Jupiter. With magically enhanced speed she reached the park in fifteen minutes, to find her fellow Senshi still waiting for the combatants to stand still long enough to take then down.
"Jupiter, you're finally here!" Moon enthused.
"So, what did I miss?" Jupiter asked Mercury, the most level headed of the group.
"Nothing really. The Chimera and the gnome are moving too fast for us to risk attacking. I have isolated an unusual magical aura around the Chimera, but I can't say whether it is offensive, defensive, or neutral in nature. Also the gnome isn't nearly as big as it appears. My computer has extrapolated it to be no more than forty-five centimeters in height. It's giving off huge amounts of energy to maintain the illusion."
Confused, Jupiter asked, “If it's only an illusion, how can it attack?"
"Besides the energy blasts and explosives it has been throwing around, it simply attacks the Chimera physically. The energy that it is using becomes quite solid for a split second during every physical attack."
Jupiter trusted Mercury and her assessment of the situation. It didn't really matter if she understood it all. She noticed a news crew setting up cameras across the park and pointed it out to the other Senshi. "They could get hurt."
"We can't risk getting taken out yet. We may need the whole team to deal with the winner." Usagi was rather proud of her wisdom.
Ranma waited several minutes just to make sure that Makoto was gone. When he was sure the threat had passed, he went back down stairs and threw himself onto the couch. He was about to change the channel when a special news bulletin flashed. A few seconds later the feed switched to live and Ranma was treated to a surprising sight. Happosai and Taro were duking it out. That wouldn't have been bad, but Happosai wasn't supposed to escape from the cave for several months, and Taro shouldn't have arrived from China until several months after that. Just more proof that this world was slightly different from his own. The camera panned thirty degrees and Ranma saw the Sailor Senshi standing in a group, obviously waiting for a chance to fight.
Now Ranma became concerned. When he had been fighting Happosai's demons, the Sailor Senshi had tried to help in many of the later fights, but almost always showed up too late, the travel time being to long. They had tried though, and even saved his life once when he was attacked by three powerful demons. They were going to need his help, especially if the Old Pervert saw their costumes.
The trip across the rooftops to Juuban was over quickly. From there Ranma only had to follow the sounds of police sirens and other emergency vehicles to the park, which had been roped off to protect civilians. Ranma ignored the officer who tried to detain him, and leapt over the barricade, clearing a small pond and a cluster of trees. Using tree limbs like he would rooftops, Ranma reached the embattled area of park in only a few seconds.
If anything, the destruction was even worse than the TV had shown. Smoking craters and uprooted or broken trees littered the ground, and two or three statues had been turned to rubble. He watched as Taro's cursed form and the chi-enlarged body of Happosai exchanged blows. It became apparent that Happosai's chi was beginning to run low, when Ranma started spotting small patches on the pervert's body that allowed him to see through to the other side. Why was he wasting so much energy fighting the Minotaur, when he could have stayed small and accomplished the same thing? It was a question better left for later. Hopping out of his perch in the tree, Ranma planted his feet firmly on the ground and summoned up his battle aura. The resulting explosion of force tore the tree behind him out of the ground and sent it hurtling into the air. The grass followed shortly after. By the time it was fully formed Ranma was standing in a foot deep crater.
"Moko Takabisha!" he shouted. From his outstretched hands a beam of chi blasted towards the ground at Happosai and Taro's feet. Ranma's aura vanished into the beam causing a pulse to run through it that caught up with the forefront of the attack just as it struck the ground. The chi blast exploded violently, throwing Happosai and Taro a hundred yards in opposite directions and pelting them with dirt and concrete.
Happosai was the first to recover, though his form was back to its normal shrunken self. He looked, wild-eyed, around for the third party. When his gaze locked on the glowing Ranma, he snarled and reached into his robe and withdrew a handful of Happodaikarin. After igniting them with a wisp of chi, he hurled them at Ranma and turned his attention back to Taro, who was advancing on him again.
Contemptuously, Ranma slashed out with his hand, calling, "Kijin Raishu Dan." The large vacuum blade came into contact with the bombs halfway from Ranma, simultaneously snuffing their fuses and pulverizing them. Despite his skills, Ranma knew that he could not take on both Happosai and Taro. He had to get some help, or hope that he could just fight the weakened winner.
"Guys!" Mercury screamed and began pointing. The Senshi followed her finger and saw a bright blue torch-like flame appear. Before they could figure out what it was, though, a beam of blue light blazed from it and struck the ground beneath the Chimera and the gnome. They gasped collectively seeing the two giants thrown like dolls across the park. When the combatants landed, the gnome shrunk rapidly to its true size and turned towards the new attacker. He threw some of his bombs at the figure and turned back to the Chimera.
Jupiter and the others watched raptly as the figure waved his hand and a created an air distortion of some kind that destroyed the explosives. While her friends were trying to determine who the third party was, Jupiter was staring at him in shock. It was Ranma! Her unwanted jerk of a fiancé had just thrown a very powerful energy blast. But how? He hadn't used magic. He started glowing brightly again as she watched, then, in a single bound, Ranma exploded into the air, angling himself through the air so that he would land behind them.
Saturn screamed in fright when he landed near her. She made a feeble swing at him with the silence glaive, but he dodged it easily.
"Hey, watch it with that thing! I just came to help out," complained Ranma.
"Who are you?" demanded Mars.
"I'm Ranma. Nice to meet you, too," he replied sarcastically.
Mercury shoved Venus and Neptune aside and asked excitedly, “How did you do that?"
Ranma waved the matter off, saying, “Lots of training." Ranma's attention was caught by a flying tree that Taro had thrown at Happosai. It'd been deflected though, and was heading straight for them. Without warning he fired a small chi blast from his hand. The Senshi prepared to attack him, thinking that the blast was meant for them, but it soon became obvious that Ranma had been aiming for the tree when it burst into a cloud of leaves and splinters.
"Thanks," said Moon weakly.
"No problem. Besides, how could you girls help me beat Taro and Happosai if you got crushed by a tree?"
"Taro, Happosai? What are they?" Moon asked Ranma.
"Taro is the monster. If we could hit him with some warm water, he would change back human; and between the beating he's taken from Happosai and my chi blast, his human form should be pretty helpless. I'll have to take care of Happosai, though, because if the Pervert sees you in those skirts he'll be almost unbeatable."
Mercury and Neptune both possessed water-based attacks, but Mercury's attacks all ranged from freezing water to cold water and she couldn't alter the temperature of them. So she asked Neptune, “Can you hit… Taro… with warm or hot water?"
Neptune nodded. “If he stays still long enough."
Ranma smiled. It was all coming together now. “Great. With him out of the way, I can handle Happosai on my own." Ranma jumped a good distance away from the Senshi, and took aim at Happosai. He was easily dodging his larger foe's clumsy attacks and striking out with his chi-enhanced pipe whenever the opportunity presented itself. Ranma waited for the right moment, gathering energy in either hand. When he felt that Happosai was sufficiently positioned, Ranma fired one of the charges at the ground, throwing up a cloud of dust and knocking his target into the air. The second blast only partially grazed the ancient man, but it was enough to separate him from Taro. Leaving the Senshi to take care of Taro, Ranma went chasing after Happosai.
He caught up with him just as he was pulling himself out of the ground. “Why are you picking on me?" he shouted.
"Because you're a perverted old freak, and it's fun to kick your ass," answered Ranma wryly.
Steam was literally pouring from the man's ears as he snarled, “I’ll teach you to respect your elders, boy."
Too easy. Where before, Happosai had been calm and calculating, he was now enraged and giving off the battle aura to prove it. This Happosai wouldn't even think to look for the spiral as he was led into it.
Jupiter covertly watched Ranma, occasionally turning around a calling down a bolt of lightning to help keep Taro pinned in so that Neptune could hit him with a deep submerge. She came to the conclusion, as she watched Ranma deftly dodging Happosai's super fast attacks, that her fiancé was not human, or that is he was then he was packing some serious magic. Behind her, she heard a cheer from Moon and turned to find a naked boy laying face down on a patch of soggy, scorched earth. Back at Ranma's fight she saw Ranma throw a sloppy uppercut, and thought that he had made a serious mistake, but when a cyclone formed around Happosai she realized that it had been intentional. She didn't even try to think of how he made it or how he made red and blue dragons encircle it. Triumphantly Ranma threw his arms into the air and a massive ball of energy formed at the base of the now tornado sized cyclone. It flew upward and struck the barely visible form of Happosai. When it impacted him, there was an explosion that shattered the tornado and threw the now unconscious Happosai into the wide blue yonder.
Ranma briefly returned to tell them that Taro would become a monster again if he were to be exposed to cold water then he slowly faded from view before their very eyes.
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