"Mihoshi, I’ve got good news for you." The delighted face of Lieutenant Shingo, Mihoshi’s direct supervisor announced from the primary viewscreen of her ship. "You have some vacation time coming up. In fact, you have a lot of vacation time coming up. Six months. Isn’t that wonderful?"
Mihoshi, sitting cross-legged at her seat, clad in only a set of white shorts and a loose, sleeveless, blue top, stared in confusion at the screen. "I do?"
"Of course," the bubbly delight radiating from the man would have alerted just about anyone else that something was not quite right with what was happening. Supervisors were never that happy with giving their subordinates vacation time. "You’ve been with the Galaxy Police for four years now, and you haven’t taken a single day of leave, not even for illness."
"That’s because there are still lots of criminals out there to stop. It wouldn’t seem right for me to take a vacation if my job wasn’t finished," Mihoshi explained.
Shingo was about to ask what she meant by that, then thought better of it, considering that the explanation would undoubtedly confuse things further. "Well, your vacation days are piling up, and some of the officers in accounting want you to use them so they don’t throw off the pay schedule."
Mihoshi considered that. "Does that mean I’ll be pulled off duty from patrolling the Solar System?"
There was a momentary blank stare upon Shingo’s face. In a small voice he said, "Of course it does. You’ll be on vacation. That means you won’t be at work. We’ll assign someone else to look over your sector while you kick back and relax somewhere in the universe far, far away from work."
"I don’t want to go."
Shingo’s face began to twitch slightly. "What do you mean ‘you don’t want to go’? We’re talking about a six month paid vacation. Most agents don’t get that much vacation time in a decade."
"Then how did I get so much?"
Even through the viewscreen, a slight sheen of sweat became visible as it broke out on the lieutenant’s brow. "Ah, it’s for the exemplary work you’ve done in the time you’ve been in the department. Look at how many cases you’ve solved and criminal organizations you’ve single-handedly brought down."
Mihoshi brightened at the praise. "I have been sort of busy, haven’t I?"
"Yes, yes," Shingo cooed. "You’re the most infamous… I mean famous, Galaxy Police Detective in our entire bureau. And like all such, ah, heroes, you’ve earned a break from the front lines. You wouldn’t want to burn out any more than you already hav… I mean, you wouldn’t want to burn out, would you?"
"No," Mihoshi said slowly, wondering what he had meant when he had originally said she had been burned out. True, her performance ratings had been down the last year, even Kagato had heard about that, but she was not ‘burned out.’ It probably was just a mistake on the lieutenant’s part.
"But I still don’t want to go," Mihoshi insisted.
"Why in the name of Juraian Dutch Elm Disease not?"
Mihoshi began to blush slightly. How could she tell the lieutenant that it was because if she had to take a vacation, she wouldn’t get to be with Tenchi? She couldn’t just come out and say it; people would talk. "Umm, I can’t because of personal reasons. And it doesn’t have anything to do with me not wanting to be apart from Tenchi." She let out a sigh of relief. The lieutenant wouldn’t suspect a thing now.
Shingo took a deep breath, trying to keep his face from twitching. "Look, this is a direct order. You have to go on vacation."
"No buts!" The picture of the lieutenant’s face ballooned to five times its original size as he moved right next to the imager and shouted. "Go! Get out of here! I don’t want to see your face for another six months! Do you understand?! I don’t want to hear the name ‘Mihoshi Kuramitsu’ uttered, read, translated, cried out in agony, or mentioned in any way! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!!!"
"Yes, sir," Mihoshi said from her position of cowering under the console.
The lieutenant’s face went back to normal. "Good. You’re now on leave." The viewscreen winked out.
Half a galaxy away, Shingo sighed, "It’s done."
And at Galaxy Police Headquarters, a resounding cheer of triumph rose up from a thousand different voices.
A Tenchi Muyo story
by D.B. Sommer
Disclaimer: Tenchi Muyo!, its characters and settings, © Hitoshi Okuda, AIC / Pioneer LDC, and Viz Communications, Inc.
All comments and criticisms appreciated. You can contact me at email@example.com
This uses the OVA continuity.
Had anyone been outside on the grounds of the Masaki ‘Estate’, they would have seen a depressed Mihoshi walking about aimlessly. It wasn’t her usual full-fledged waterworks depression, but an uncharacteristic somberness that would have made even Washuu say, "Hey, Bubblehead, what’s wrong?"
To which Mihoshi would have replied, "I don’t want to go on vacation because I’ll miss Tenchi." At that point, Washuu would have said something in that sweet, motherly voice she used on Ryouko. A phrase like, "get over it," or something similar.
However, no one was around, so Mihoshi was left alone in her thoughts, which she did have, regardless of what some people believed. She had not been on a vacation for years, not since she lived with her parents, right before going through the Galaxy Police Training Academy five years ago. Where would she go? What should she do?
"It’s not fair," Mihoshi sniffled to herself. There was no way to get out of a direct order from her supervisor. She was being forced on vacation. She needed help. Asking Aeka or Ryouko’s advice on the matter probably wouldn’t be a good idea; they seemed to think that the less time she spent with Tenchi, the better. They’d just tell her to go to the outer rim or something. She didn’t feel comfortable asking Yosho. Even Washuu didn’t seem right. But there was one person Mihoshi could always turn to.
It was time to call her mother.
Her mother always gave good advice, and it had been months since Mihoshi had last spoken to her. Also, she was an expert on vacations, having organized and arranged trips for the family all of her life. She’d know what to do.
Mihoshi entered the house and went to the newly reconstructed ‘Washuu’s Super Special Intergalactic Phone’. The one without the self-destruct switch, which Tenchi had insisted on, much to Washuu’s annoyance.
Picking up the receiver, Mihoshi dialed the fifteen-digit number needed to get the Intergal Connector service so that she could reach her parent’s star system. The phone rang only once before it was answered by a deep, husky, "Hello."
Mihoshi’s eyebrows furrowed slightly. Her mother’s voice was usually high-pitched. "Mommy?"
After a moment, the voice on the other end said, "Sure, I can be your Mommy. I just need a debit card number from you first. Universal Express, Stargazer’s Trump, or any gold card will do."
Mihoshi looked at the phone in confusion. That was a very strange request for her mother to make. "Would Royal Juraian Imperial Plus do?"
Mihoshi rattled off the number she had memorized from the one time she had seen Aeka’s debit card.
"Now then, what would you like your mommy to do to you?" the voice asked.
Again her mother’s voice, as well as speech pattern, was inconsistent with Mihoshi’s memories, even if it had been a while since they had last spoken to one another. "I need advice."
"Oh? Have you been a naughty girl?"
"Ah, not really." Mihoshi felt a blush rise to her cheeks. Her mother had a tendency to ask intimate Mihoshi about her social life and wondered if she had any romantic interests since she was already twenty-three and hadn’t found a decent lover yet. It was a bit awkward for the Galaxy Police officer. Her mother tended to be somewhat sexually aggressive, and thought her daughter should be that way too. Actually, her mother’s attitude towards that sort of thing was very reminiscent of Ryouko’s, when it came right down to it. For that reason Mihoshi had felt reluctant to mention Tenchi to her. There was no telling what ideas her mother might have come up with had she learned there was someone Mihoshi was interested in.
"Are you sure you don’t need a spanking?" the voice on the end of the line asked?
"I think you’re calling me because you’re a naughty girl," the voice continued in its husky tone. "I think what you need is a good spanking. And then I’ll—"
Mihoshi was only able to listen to two of the ‘suggestions’ before she held the receiver away from her ear.
Aeka came walking by, then paused a moment to take in the unusual scene before her. "What’s going on?"
"It’s for you." Mihoshi handed Aeka the receiver and ran off. There was no way that person on the other end could be her mother.
Mihoshi only made it as far as the door to Washuu’s lab before a piercing scream cried out, "NO! I MOST CERTAINLY WOULD NOT LIKE TO BE SMACKED AROUND LIKE THE BITCH THAT I AM!!!" which was followed by the sound of someone blasting Washuu’s phone into two hundred thousand tiny pieces.
For a moment, Mihoshi considered dropping by Washuu’s lab, but then thought better of it. All too often it seemed Washuu’s experiments backfired, and then she’d be in a foul mood all day and would take it out on the Galaxy Police officer, even though whatever Mihoshi did really was an accident. She was going to have to come up with another idea.
Wandering around eventually took her outside once again. The day was still clear, so Mihoshi decided to walk around, hoping the fresh air might give her some insight on how to solve her dilemma.
The carefully cultivated grounds of the temple area gave way to the carrot fields below the shrine. It was there Mihoshi came across Tenchi. He was wearing a pair of faded jeans and a gray short-sleeved shirt, and was working on a row of carrots with a hoe. Mihoshi could see a sheen of perspiration on his brow, the blue headband he wore failing to soak up the moisture. Ryo-Ohki stood several feet behind Tenchi, waiting anxiously for any carrots that might be thrown her way.
Tenchi looked up from his work to see the newcomer approach. "Hi, Mihoshi."
Tenchi went back to using his hoe, missing the depressed tone in Mihoshi’s voice. "What are you up to today?"
"I have to go on vacation," Mihoshi sighed.
Tenchi looked up from his work. "Vacation, huh? I sure wouldn’t mind going on one myself."
Mihoshi’s head jerked slightly. Was that what she thought he had said? "You would?"
"Yeah, I haven’t been on one in a while." He rested his hands on the top of the hoe as he stared off at the horizon, his eyes taking on a distant glaze. "I always used to come here for my summer vacations and train with grandfather, only since the house got transported out here, I get to do it year round now. I don’t think we can call it a vacation anymore."
"I think you’re right," Mihoshi said. There was an idea forming on the periphery of her mind, but it was still too far away to make out.
Tenchi’s gaze remained far off. "I remember there was one time me and Dad, four years or so ago, took a vacation to the beach. We were only there for a couple of days, but it was pretty fun. Well, except for Dad ogling and commenting on all of the girls in their bathing suits. That kind of put a damper on things."
"So you like the beach?" The idea was continuing to draw closer. It was almost there.
"The beaches on Aqua Regia are the best in the universe," Mihoshi said brightly. Her eyes took on a similar, distant gaze as Tenchi’s. "Over ninety five percent of the surface of the planet is covered with water, and most of the landmasses are only small islands. The sand there is soft and smooth, like baby powder, and when it goes through your toes, it makes you want to laugh and play all day. My parents took me there when I was little, so I know."
"It sounds neat," Tenchi said, now trying to imagine the scene Mihoshi was describing. Surprisingly, he found it very easy to picture in his mind, though Mihoshi’s description was somewhat plain.
"It is," Mihoshi assured him. "And the water there is crystal clear and you can see for hundreds of feet in it. The planet is full of billions of beautiful fishes. There’s supposed to be more species there than anywhere else in the universe. And they have the best seafood in the galaxy there too."
Tenchi mopped the sweat from his brow. "It sounds like paradise. I sure wouldn’t mind seeing it."
At last the idea came into focus for Mihoshi. "Tenchi?"
"Would you like to go with me to Aqua Regia?"
The offer caught Tenchi off guard. "You’re asking me to go on a vacation with you?"
Mihoshi went from staring at Tenchi to looking at the ground and kicking at tiny stones. "Well, you’re not going anywhere on your summer break and you said you wanted to go to the beach since you like the beach and I’d like to go to the beach since I like the beach too—"
"—I thought it would be a really good idea since then we’d both be going to the beach—
"—and I don’t want to have to go on vacation all alone because then I’d be lonely—"
"Mihoshi, I said okay!"
At last, the statement registered with Mihoshi. "You’d really like to go?"
"Sure," Tenchi said, glad at last to get a word in edgewise. "I’ll have to check with Dad and Grandpa first, but if it’s okay with them, I’ll go. It sounds like it would be a lot of fun."
"All right. Let’s go ask them." Mihoshi grabbed Tenchi’s arm and, over his protests, proceeded to drag him all the way to the temple.
A pair of chopsticks snapped. Yosho examined the broken pieces of wood in his hand, then memorized every detail of his meager belongings in the temple in which he sat. One never knew how much longer such things would last, especially with the company the family had been keeping of late. He began concentrating in earnest, until he came to a conclusion.
"Ryouko," he said out loud.
Exactly three seconds later, Mihoshi slid open the door to the temple and rushed inside with Tenchi still being dragged along by the arm. With a loud thump, she collapsed into a cross-legged position across the table before the older man. Tenchi fell on his side next to her.
Yosho gave a sigh. "And here I had been sure it was Ryouko’s turn."
"What was that?" Tenchi and Mihoshi asked at the same time.
"Nothing." Yosho gave a dismissive gesture with his hand. "What brings the two of you here? You both look like you have something you’d like to ask me." Actually, Mihoshi was literally bouncing up and down, while still in her sitting position, in nervous anticipation. Tenchi was more subdued, but did appear a little anxious.
Tenchi’s hand found its way to the back of his head. "Well, you see, Mihoshi sort of wanted to know if I wanted to go on a little trip with her. To a beach, and I thought it would be kind of fun, but that I ought to check with you and Dad first."
"How very responsible of you, Tenchi," Yosho said in earnest. "Most young men of your age would jump at the opportunity to go off to a beach with a young woman such as our own Mihoshi."
"Grandpa! It’s not like that!" Tenchi protested as Mihoshi giggled while turning bright red.
"Really, we’re just going on vacation," Mihoshi insisted, though her giggling wouldn’t stop.
"Well, as long as she promises not to take advantage of you, I see no problem."
"I’d never do that," Mihoshi said, while Tenchi took his turn to blush with embarrassment. He suddenly had a bad feeling about what was happening. Maybe going on a vacation with Mihoshi wasn’t such a good idea. However, he couldn’t just back out; Mihoshi would be crushed. Bucking up his courage, he pushed the doubts from his mind.
It was only a little while later that the duo made their way to the main house without being accosted by anyone, or anything. "I hope things go better with Dad," Tenchi muttered to himself, still not quite over his grandfather’s odd need to embarrass him. If it was Ryouko, okay, getting the promise might have been justified. But making Mihoshi promise that? Implying she’d try to do anything with him was about as likely as Ryo-Ohki becoming rabid.
Just as Tenchi opened the door to the house, a small gray cabbit rushed between his legs and made a beeline for the woods. Naturally, she had a great deal of white foam coming from her mouth, even going so far as to leave behind little splotches in the direction she had run from.
"Tenchi, why are you covering your eyes and saying, ‘I didn’t see that,’ over and over again?" Mihoshi asked.
She didn’t get an answer as Ryouko phased through the wall of the house and onto the porch. She floated in the air and scanned the area with her eyes. "You two see a little cabbit running around in a mad frenzy out here?"
Tenchi murmured, "Nope," while keeping his hands over his eyes. Mihoshi said "Sure," and pointed in the direction Ryo-Ohki had taken.
"Thanks," Ryouko said, then flew off at top speed in the direction Mihoshi had indicated. "Get back here, you little ingrate! With that special stuff Washuu made, we only need to brush your teeth once a year! It ain’t that big of a deal! Do you want your teeth to fall out so you can’t eat every carrot in sight!" Ryouko wielded her toothbrush like a sword as she flew off, her voice fading in the distance.
"Heh. I never like to brush my teeth either. Let’s go, Tenchi." Mihoshi grabbed Tenchi by the arm and led him into the house.
Night had fallen as Tenchi lay back in his bed, staring at the ceiling and wondering exactly what he had managed to get himself into this time. Asking his father’s permission had been an even worse experience than it had with his grandfather. Not only had he slapped Tenchi on the back and congratulated him on finally becoming a ‘real man’, but after Mihoshi had skipped out of the room, he had given Tenchi a little ‘gift’ to make sure nothing unplanned happened as a result of his trip.
Tenchi held the gift above his head. He pulled one of the wrapped objects from out of the box. "And for what exactly does he think I’m going to need a box of condoms for?"
It was at that moment hat Ryouko’s face appeared from out of the headboard of Tenchi’s bed. "Hi, Tenchi," she greeted as the rest of her body followed. "I was about to go to sleep when I realized we hadn’t had a chance to see each other all day. And I… YES! You’ve finally come to your senses and realized I’m the one for you! And you even brought protection. That’s so sweet and thoughtful of you." In a flash the condom was ripped out of Tenchi’s hand and ended up in Ryouko’s.
"No!" Tenchi shouted out. "It’s not what you think."
"Ohh, they’re extra-large too. Looks like I’m in for a real treat tonight."
"That isn’t mine," Tenchi insisted, even if it was technically untrue.
"Now, now," Ryouko’s cat-like purr made Tenchi’s response to cower under his sheets a little, the all too familiar role of being Ryouko’s prey once again settling over him. She continued hovering over him, saying, "No need for shyness. I’ll even put it on for you." She ripped the covers off Tenchi, peeling away the first barrier and allowing herself the opportunity to savor the sight: Tenchi in just the tight, black pants he always wore to bed. She licked her lips in anticipation of what was to come next.
Tenchi hopped off the bed and began backing up towards the door. He hoped that by keeping eye contact with Ryouko, she wouldn’t try to charge him. "Ryouko—"
"Gimme the pants, big boy."
Tenchi found his hopes dashed as she flew towards him. He tried turning around and making for the door only to have her tackle him from behind. He ended up on the floor, but didn’t hit hard as he felt Ryouko pull him up slightly at the last second, keeping him from slamming into the wooden boards. He lay prone with his stomach on the floor as he felt Ryouko’s weight settle high on the back of his legs, her superior strength easily pinning him to the ground. As he tried struggling in vain, he heard the sound of a wrapper being torn.
"Time for Mr. Happy to put on his rubbers since he’s going to get all wet real soon."
Tenchi could feel the smile on Ryouko’s face. He ceased his struggling and craned his neck as far back as he could. Only out of the corner of his eye was he able to see her. "Ryouko, knock it off."
"But Tenchi," she whined as she ran her free hand along his backside. "You can’t be having second thoughts."
"Yes, I am," Tenchi insisted, glad that he had at last gotten through to her.
"Fine," she said with a note of resignation in her voice. "We’ll go without the condom."
"THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEA—"
And then the door to his room flew open, revealing a gateway to the deepest, darkest pit of perdition that no human being’s mind could fathom for fear of having their souls sucked out of them and being driven insane.
At least that was the reaction Tenchi had at seeing the look on Aeka’s face.
Aeka actually waited a full .4 seconds to take in the scene before actually leveling an accusing finger at Ryouko. "How dare you try to force yourself upon Lord Tenchi and work such evil deeds upon him!"
"Hey, now! Don’t get jealous just because Tenchi cares enough about me to get the kind of protection a girl wants. It’s even lubricated, too."
"Protection?" Aeka’s anger was stifled for the briefest of moments as she looked at the object in Ryouko’s hand. Once it was successfully identified, the anger returned, tripled "Then I was right! You are trying to rape him! I forbid a demon such as yourself from fornicating with my Lord Tenchi!" A ring of tiny logs appeared around Aeka.
Ryouko got up and grabbed Tenchi by the back of his pants. As though he was a feather, Ryouko lifted him up and casually tossed him onto his bed. "Better stay out of this, Tenchi. Some gals just can’t stand the idea they lost to the better woman." The jewel on her wrist began to glow in response to Aeka’s increasing display of power.
"Not in the room!" was the best Tenchi thought he could do as he saw the twin looks of anger each girl was directing to the other. Some nuclear explosives couldn’t be defused; he had resigned himself to that fate long ago.
He almost got his wish, as Aeka’s first blast caught Ryouko in the chest and threw her outside. Aeka followed, screaming ‘ladylike’ obscenities at her opponent. Examining the damage, he thought he had gotten off lucky with only a twelve-foot diameter hole in his wall.
Sasami and Mihoshi appeared in the doorway to his room. Sasami was wearing a loose nightgown that was long enough to touch the floor. Mihoshi wore a partially buttoned men’s shirt that was long enough to touch her bottom. At least Ryouko and Aeka weren’t around to misinterpret her presence as well.
"Were they giving you a late-night going away party?" Mihoshi asked.
"Sort of," Tenchi replied. All of a sudden, he was looking forward to getting away from it all. Although it might be best to have Ryouko and Aeka find out about his vacation after he had left, considering the effect his little retreat might have on them.
To be continued.
Author's notes: Well, it’s my first serious attempt at non-Ranma related material. Let me know what you think.
Also special thanks to KaraOhki for looking over this part.
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