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Chapter 1


The early morning hour made Kasumi Tendou yawn. She raised one hand to her mouth while she continued frying vegetables in the skillet with the other. She observed their blackening condition through bleary eyes, satisfied at their progress. Sometimes cooking for her family was a chore, but she did care for them, and her willingness to do such was her way of expressing that. There was also the fact that had Kasumi not done it, Akane would quickly volunteer to take her place, and then it would be over for all of them. No, it was simply better this way.

A second yawn overcame her. She reached into her bathrobe and scratched at an itchy spot under her breast. As she removed the skillet from the stove and placed the vegetables into a mixing bowl, she noted she was far too young to be this tired. She was only nineteen, and should have had far more endurance. It was hard to believe she was feeling the effects of the previous night, or more accurately, the very early morning. Club-hopping with Yui and the girls was fun, but it had taken its toll. It used to be she could party all night long, grab a couple hours of sleep, and be wide awake and ready for a full day of school. Now all it took was a six-pack and a couple hours of dancing to tire her out. It was disgraceful.

There was another detail that made Kasumi even more depressed than her lack of endurance. Almost none of the guys at the clubs had hit on her. Usually she had her pick of the lot when going out, but last night there hadn't been more than a handful of come on's, and by only the worst of the men. True, it was a quiet night for the club and there were far fewer men than usual, but even Yui had some luck with a couple of cute guys hitting on her. Maybe now that Kasumi was out of high school, she was beginning to turn frumpy. She hoped that wasn't the case, but why else would she have no luck with guys trying to pick her up?

The doorbell rang. No one else was awake yet, so Kasumi turned from her food preparation and headed to the front door. Her bare feet crossed the wooden floor, chilling her slightly and making her feel more awake than before. She came to the door and opened it. The visitor was a plain-looking boy with several plastic bags in his hands. There was nothing extraordinary about him; he was a standard pimply-faced sixteen-year-old, one Kasumi didn't recognize. She wondered if he was one of Akane's friends. It wasn't a school day, but perhaps she had agreed to do something early today.

"This is the Tendou residence, isn't it?" the youth asked, grimacing as he shifted his burden uncomfortably.

Then it finally clicked.

"Oh, the groceries." Kasumi decided she must have been really tired to have forgotten about their delivery this morning. Cooking was bad enough, but she refused to do the shopping as well. Having groceries delivered made things so much easier. "Come inside," she instructed him.

The youth did so, placing the bags on a nearby stand. He looked at her expectedly. "Ten thousand yen."

Kasumi looked around. Of course her purse would be upstairs, and she had no money on her. She was about to tell the boy to wait a moment, when a second idea came to her. She stood in front of him, undid the tie at her waist and opened her robe.

The boy's look didn't change as he went from staring at Kasumi's face to her body. Eyes riveted to her, he pulled out his wallet, handed her ten thousand yen, then turned and exited the house with a profound stiffness in his stride.

Kasumi retied the robe and closed the door.

Oh, yes. She still had what it took.

A Ranma ½ fan fiction story
By DB Sommer

Any and all C+C is appreciated. You can contact me at sommer@3rdm.net

Disclaimer: Ranma ½ and its characters and settings belong to Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Kitty, and Viz Video.

Foreword: This is a lemony alternate universe I've been threatening to do for some time. Now it has finally seen the light of day. 'Things' isn't abandoned; I just needed a break is all. And this idea has been on the back burner for some time. So close your eyes and cover your ears…

Since this is a lemon, no one under eighteen should read this for fear of having your eyes burn out of your head.

And yes, we're going to start Ranma from the very beginning again, but hopefully the new twists will keep you interested. There will be an underlying plot to everything, so it's not a true PWP lemon, but it's definitely not meant to be a very 'serious' work either. It's really nothing more than an excuse for some basic naughtiness and good fun.

This particular chapter has no outright lemon scenes. However, it does earn its lemon tag for all the fan service, crude language, suggestive scenes, and dialogue that are included. Throughout the series I will be using the 'Ranma-chan' appellation to denote female Ranma, due to gender being important to this, despite the fact that such use of the suffix is technically improper; -chan is used in Japan for both genders.

That's enough notes. On to the fic. And yes, the opening is similar, but the changes, as evidenced in the prologue, will be readily apparent.

Rain fell heavily upon the streets of Nerima, deluging crowds of people who paid it no mind. Their attention was instead focused on a panda pursuing a redhaired girl. The pair was running through the streets, the girl barely managing to stay ahead of the giant creature.

The panda held up a sign. *But we have to go meet my old friend.*

The girl shouted, "No way, you stupid old tub of lard! I want to find a cure to my condition! The only reason I came back to Japan was because you told me you knew someone that could fix this! I should have known better!"

The panda lunged at her, only to meet a foot that connected solidly with his jaw. The blow sent the dampened creature hard to the ground, cracking the pavement with the impact.

The girl unleashed a satisfied grin at her handiwork. "That takes care of that. Now to figure out a way to get back to China." She turned her back to the panda and began to walk off.

Still lying on the street, the panda held up a sign. *He has three teenage daughters.*

The girl stopped in midstride, turned around, and walked up to the panda. "Well, jeez, Pop. Why didn't you say that in the first place?" She helped the panda to his feet and brushed some of the street grime from his fur. Now far more respectful, the girl said, "Lead the way, Old Man."

Most of the passersby thought they could make out a look of recrimination on the panda's features when it stared at the girl, if such a feeling could be communicated on its animalistic features. However, whatever expression the creature held disappeared as it lumbered down the street, its human companion following merrily along.

Soun Tendou looked at the postcard in his hand. So it was finally that time, was it? He wondered how the girls were going to react to the information he was about to give them. It would make things…interesting, to say the least. Perhaps he should have informed them beforehand to prepare them for what was to come.

No, knowing his girls, any previous knowledge of the issue would not make a bit of difference when it came time to make a choice. Either they would accept things or they would not. In the latter case, it would fall to him to convince them of the necessity of the matter. Promises had to be upheld, after all, and this was possibly the most important of them all.

Now the moment of truth was upon him, even more quickly than he would have expected. Today was the date mentioned on the card. Obviously the mail service was becoming inept if it took them that long to deliver a mere postcard.

Course decided, Soun situated himself at the dinner table, striking the pose he thought would express the importance of the matter. Satisfied, he raised his hand to his mouth and shouted out, "Kasumi! Nabiki! Akane!" There could be no doubt the cry reached throughout his home. The final wheel had been set in motion.

Within moments, his three daughters appeared. Seeing their father sitting at the table in a familiar manner, one of seriousness, the three sat down opposite him at the table and regarded him with looks ranging from Kasumi's warm one, to Nabiki's guarded pseudo-glare.

Soun cleared his throat. "I have something very important to inform you about. A friend of mine is arriving with his son today, and they are going to be staying with us for a while."

"This is sort of at the last minute, isn't it, Father?" Kasumi clucked at her father's neglect. "I'll have to prepare bedding for them in one of the spare rooms."

"How long are they staying?" Nabiki asked.

Akane stared at her sister in disappointment. "Nabiki, they're guests and Dad's friends. It doesn't matter how long they're going to stay."

"True," Nabiki admitted. "It's not like I'm the one that's going to be cleaning up after them."

Kasumi stiffened slightly. "Exactly how long did you say they were going to stay, Father?"

Soun placed his hand behind his head and laughed embarrassingly. The response made all three of the girls tense up.

Nabiki took the lead. "All right, Daddy. Spill it. What aren't you telling us?"

He shifted nervously. "Yes, well, they might be staying for a very long time, is all…"

All three stared at him suspiciously. Soun cursed their ability to read him so easily; a trait they had picked up from their mother. Now that there was no hope of easing them into the idea, he decided to come clean and inform them. He knew he should have waited for a better opportunity when they might have been more receptive to the plan. Like when they were drunk, or something.

"Oh, yes. It was also our intention to have one of you marry the boy. Joining the schools and such. Saotome and I came up with the idea and thought it a good idea at the time." He laughed again.

Suspicion turned to surprise.

Kasumi was the first to speak this time. "Is he older? I don't like younger men. They're so inexperienced."

Nabiki asked, "Is he hung? I'm tired of going out with average guys. I want someone that's really going to make me feel it in the morning."

Akane stared with disapproval at her sisters. "Come on, you guys. There's more to men than just how good they are at sex."

Nabiki gestured grandly. "Oh yes, there's handsome older guys that are semi-bishonen to really get your motor running."

Akane blushed. "Cut it out, Nabiki."

Nabiki continued, "And then there's their perfectly gentlemanly attitude towards you, instead of looking at you like a piece of meat they want to devour. Of course, one must consider the reason for that being—"

"I said knock it off!" Akane snapped.

Nabiki did so, making it clear she was backing off on her own and not because of the implied threat.

Deciding to get back some of her own, Akane said, "Why are you interested anyway? I thought you were going out with Matsui."

"I'm always looking for something better," Nabiki said nonchalantly.

"Oh, so he dumped you." Kasumi gave her younger sister a sympathetic gaze.

Nabiki shrugged. "Yeah. Evidently blow jobs weren't enough to keep him in line anymore."

"You have fleeced him out of a lot of money," Akane reminded her.

Rather than be offended, Nabiki shrugged. "Relationships are give and take, and I like being treated right. It's not like he didn't get anything out of it, you know. Lots of guys would like to go out with me."

"Lots of guys have gone out with you," Akane said snidely.

"Not the whole soccer team, and not all at the same time," Nabiki teased.

Akane turned a bright shade of red. "That was only because I lost a bet! It was a one-time thing! And it wasn't the whole team! A lot of them had girlfriends and refused, and others weren't interested in that sort of thing!"

Kasumi looked at her curiously. "What's this all about?"

Anger switched to embarrassment. "Well, you see, it was kind of at the start of the school year. Yuka was going on and on about her new boyfriend and how he was such a stud on the soccer team, and that they were going to really kick butt this year and win the championship. Except the soccer team sucks. They finished 1-10 last year. So Sayuri and I were making fun of her and I sort of said that if the team could win it all, I'd sleep with the whole lot of them." Akane shook her fist at the skies. "How was I to know those losers would hear about it and win all of their games by at least three goals?!"

"Never underestimate what a man will go through with the temptation of free sex placed before him," Nabiki said sagely.

"So how many did you take on?" Kasumi asked.

Akane considered that. "Well, I was pretty drunk at the time, so it's not like I kept count. I know I'd never been so sore in my life afterwards. I could barely walk straight for a week. And like I said, not all the guys were interested in it. Around ten or so, probably."

Kasumi said, "That's impressive. I only did four, a couple of times back in high school. It was never very enjoyable. Boys tend to be very quick and get in the way of one another when they try anything at the same time, so I gave up on that sort of thing… Oh my, is there something wrong, Father?"

The other two girls looked to see their father had turned a bright shade of red and was staring at them awkwardly. "I'd really prefer it if you wouldn't talk about such things in front of me."

The girls looked at him quizzically. Akane said, "How come? Mom talked liked this all the time at the dinner table, and you never seemed to mind."

Nabiki said, "Yeah. I mean, you let her keep working as a 'full-service' masseuse even after we were born. She talked shop constantly and you never complained."

"Everything we learned about sex came from her," Kasumi said wistfully.

"Which definitely helped our popularity," Nabiki quipped.

Soun began to sweat. This never became easier to deal with. True, Ayumi had possessed a voracious sexual appetite — it was one of the initial reasons Soun had married her — but even he couldn't keep up with her near limitless endurance. After a couple of years of monogamy, he allowed (insisted, actually) his wife return to her job in order to leave him with enough energy to do things… like eat and breathe. Despite her innate tendencies, he had hoped the girls would have been somewhat more normal when it came to their sex drives — well, they were, compared to their mother — but they still tended be very energetic, and certainly as liberated in attitude as Ayumi was. He had wanted them to grow up more reserved, but Ayumi would have none of that. She insisted they be as sexually easygoing as she had been, claiming it was one of the keys to her happiness in life. He hadn't the energy to fight the matter (literally, since she could still wear him out, even on top of her job) and so the girls were like this. It made for a very trying fatherhood.

"It's all that damned Happosai's fault," Soun muttered.

"You're happy about what?" Kasumi asked.

"I'm happy you're so receptive to the idea of Ranma coming to live here," Soun lied. Some secrets were best left where they were, like buried under tons of rubble with spirit wards placed on them.

"His name's Ranma?" Akane asked.

Nabiki shook her head. "'Wild Horse'. Probably a misnomer. Sort of like the fat sumo they call 'Tiny'."

"Now, Father, keep in mind none of us said we'd marry him," Kasumi reminded him.

"We're just keeping our minds open," Akane said.

"So what's he like?" Nabiki asked.

"I don't know. I've never met the boy."

Silence met Soun.

However, the encounter didn't last long. Nabiki slapped her hand to her forehead. "So he could be some ugly, stupid, poor loser, and you want us to marry him."

Kasumi shook her head. "I really think you should have learned what he is like before considering him proper marriage material, Father. There might be something unsuitable about him."

Akane said, "What if he's some psycho that's left a trail of dead and maimed people behind him and has a bunch of people trying to kill him and he fixates on me and I don't realize he's nuts and end up inadvertently being his accomplice when I try to defend him from those seeking righteous vengeance?"

The others stared at her.

"Okay, it is a completely silly idea," Akane admitted. "But the point is, he could be screwed up and we don't know it."

"I have faith that Saotome raised the boy right," Soun said. Raising him away from Nodoka could only help in that regard. "However, if the boy is completely unsuitable, I will dissolve the arrangement. Ah, there is one other thing, though. I think it would be best if you don't mention your… colorful pasts."

Nabiki laughed at that. "Get real, Daddy. I am not going to pretend I'm some proper Japanese pristine virgin. If I think a guy is marriage material, he's getting to know what I'm really all about long before the wedding night."

The other girls nodded in agreement.

"Well, perhaps not bragging about your exploits would suffice," Soun relented. "Some men are uneasy around women who openly boast about their experiences, and Ranma might be the type that's easily intimidated."

"Very well," Kasumi agreed. "Besides, he's essentially a stranger. I wouldn't talk to a stranger that way."

"Good point," Akane agreed.

Soun decided that would have to suffice. While it was true the boy might be 'liberated' in attitude when it came to sexual partners, it would be best to take things slowly. If he was, the truth would be discovered soon enough. If he wasn't, he might grow to accept the idea if he was slowly introduced to it.

A knock on the door ended the conversation. Nabiki went to answer it, before the others could get to their feet. Within moments, she called out. "Daddy, did you order a panda?"

That brought the remaining three Tendous to the front door. Standing on the front step in front of the doorway was a large panda and a short girl.

"Hi, I'm Ranma Saotome. Sorry about this," she said with a smile.

Nabiki considered the girl. "Well, Daddy, it appears that little oversight of yours about not feeling out the situation has indeed led to ruin. Tough luck about the family promise and everything."

"But Saotome told me he had a boy!" Soun insisted.

"Maybe that's what he started out as, but I'd say the end result is something else." Nabiki poked the newcomer's breast. "Silicone enhancement if ever I saw it."

Ranma-chan "Ooh'd" at the sensation. "Actually they're real, sort of," she said, then reached out and felt Nabiki's breast. "I bet these are one hundred percent natural, too."

When the handling lasted longer than a mere poke, and traveled more into 'groping' territory, Nabiki pinched the flesh on the back of the offending appendage. The pain made Ranma-chan wince and release her hold.

"Actually, I am a guy," Ranma-chan insisted.

Nabiki said, "Well, of course you are. No amount of surgery can change what you are. I could dye my hair blonde, but that doesn't really make me a blonde."

Ranma-chan was about to say something, when Akane stepped between the two. "Nabiki, stop making fun of Ranma. If someone wishes to change their gender, then they should have the right to do so without having people harass them."

"Thanks for sticking up for me," Ranma-chan said, then thought about the statement. "Err, wait a minute. I haven't had a—"

"No need to explain anything," Akane said.

"Yes, we'll accept you for who you are," Kasumi added.

"Yeah, what they said. It just wasn't what I was expecting was all," Nabiki said.

"He was supposed to be a boy!" Soun wailed.

The panda held up a sign. *Isn't it nice they're so accepting of your condition, Ranma?*

"Pop, there's a serious misunderstanding here," Ranma-chan said.

"I'm sure you had your reasons for doing what you did," Kasumi supplied happily.

Ranma-chan was about to say something else, and just gave up. "Mind if I clean up?" she finally asked.

Kasumi ushered 'her' inside. "Of course. The bath is this way."

As Akane made her way back from her workout in the dojo, she felt relieved. The whole situation with the potential fiancée had been fraught with tension. At first it was at the idea her father and sisters might have tried to foist it on her. That would have been bad, since she had her sights set on a man already. True, he had managed to resist her advances so far, but every woman had struck out with him to date, so Akane didn't feel dejected. She was certain she could win him over. It would just take time, was all. She did have something of a reputation after all (a well deserved one, she would admit), but she had vowed to change her ways for him. If she persevered long enough, he would see the truth, realize her sincerity, judge her to be worthy, and then they would be together.

But that had been a concern for a while, and she had long since learned to deal with that. The real source of her increase intension was the revelation about Ranma. Like Nabiki, it had caught her off-guard. Unlike Nabiki, her heart had gone out to someone that had undoubtedly had to go through life being a social outcast for their choice in lifestyle. Sort of like Sayuri, though not as extreme. It made Akane want to reach out and help the girl. Acceptance was the way to go. She'd be Ranma's friend and help him/her anyway she needed. In a non-romantic way, of course. She had no interest in girls, even if a lesbian was one of her best friends. And since Ranma wanted to be a girl, Akane would regard 'her' as such.

Akane paused in her thoughts as she arrived at the bathroom. The occupied sign wasn't up, which meant Ranma must have been done with her bath. That was probably for the best. Akane had no fascination with the end results of whatever was done to Ranma to make her the way she was. It wasn't the additions that were so bad, but knowing that parts (parts Akane had enjoyed on other men) had been cut off and tossed out in the garbage was kind of creepy.

Pushing such thoughts from her mind, Akane entered the bath and began to remove her clothing.

The now-male Ranma continued luxuriating in the bath. Living life on the road made it rare that he could enjoy the simple pleasures, such as privately soaking in a tub. Public baths were the best he and his father could ever do. Settling down for a while, in an actual home with a roof over his head, sounded pretty darn good to him. No more getting rained on all the time. No more unexpected sex changing. No more chaos or crazy people trying to hunt him down and kill him over stupid misunderstandings. He would have peace at last.

There was also the added bonus of whom he was staying with. The conditions couldn't be better, especially with three attractive girls living under the same roof, one of which he was supposed to marry. Of course, he was only sixteen and didn't want to settle down yet, but there was no reason why he couldn't 'evaluate' the girls' marriage potential and get some serious action in the process. After all, he was still young, and had the right to sow his wild oats. Of course, he hadn't sown any yet, but he sure wanted to. He was just a victim of circumstance was all, and not some loser that couldn't score with the chicks. Moving around most of the time hadn't allowed him to get to know any girls. The few times he had settled down in one place for any real length of time… well, there were always complications of some kind that destroyed any chance of romance, let alone cheap sex. And the biggest complication of all had been…

No. He had to let it go. Anger would serve no purpose now. It was over, and in the past. He was free of the 'Unspoken One's' damnable presence for all time, and it was best to let it remain that way. He had to get on with his life. Although were they to ever cross paths again, well, there was no telling what would happen, other than it wouldn't be pretty.

Ranma observed the pruney texture his skin had taken. That was the telltale sign he had enjoyed luxuriating in the furo long enough. Reluctantly he rose out of the bath and headed towards the sliding partition in the bathroom, lost deep in thought of how he was going to explain his curse to the girls.

As Ranma slid the door open, he was confronted with a sight that caught him completely by surprise. There was Akane, naked save for a towel in her hands that only served to cover an indecent portion of her body. He let out a low, "Ooh," and remained motionless, a deer caught in a pair of oncoming headlights. Unable to react immediately, he saw with his peripheral vision a frown form on her features. Pervious experience informed him of what was to come. His body automatically tensed up (well, the rest of his body tensed up; the part between his legs had already begun to do just that upon seeing a naked girl) as he prepared to receive the thunderous slap she would unleash upon him.

But then Akane turned around, wrapping the towel around her body, and stomped out of the bath. Ranma was left with only one burning thought as she exited the bathroom. "She has a seriously cute butt."

Akane was in a proper anger as she stormed into Nabiki's room. She saw that the owner of said room was occupying it, sitting at a desk as she chewed on a pencil and read over a book. Nabiki looked up in surprise at the girl.

Akane said, "Look, from now on tell your boyfriends to put the occupied sign on the bath when they're using it. I walked in there and the jerk got a free show."

"Um, Akane, I would except for one tiny detail: I don't have any boyfriends over."

"Oh." Temporarily derailed, Akane considered the new information. "Do you think he's Kasumi's?"

"That would be a switch. She usually doesn't bring them home." Nabiki rose from her chair. "Let's go ask."

Now a party two, the pair headed to Kasumi's room and knocked on the door. After identifying themselves, she let them in.

Kasumi was just starting to dress. At the moment all she wore was a lacy, almost see-through black bra that enhanced her already ample bust, and a matching garter with one nylon already attached to it. She was in the process of rolling the second one up her long, trim leg. All that was left was to attach the remaining nylon and add panties to the ensemble before her undergarments would be complete. She stopped what she was doing, unmindful of her partially dressed state, and said to her sisters, "What is it?"

"Getting ready for a hot date?" Nabiki asked.

"No, I was just going to wear something casual around the house," Kasumi answered.

"Not exactly my idea of casual," Akane commented as she looked the underwear over and felt a twinge of jealousy. She wouldn't look that good in such sensual garments.

"That's only because of who you've dated," Kasumi said. "Young men don't appreciate provocative underwear. All they're concerned with is getting you out of them. They don't take time to understand what a woman goes through to impress them."

"Makes things easier in my opinion. Less hassle," Nabiki said.

"We're getting off track," Akane said. "Was that your guy who was in the bath?"

"No. I didn't ask anyone over. Perhaps he was Ranma's boyfriend?" Kasumi suggested.

"I do not have a boyfriend," a male voice said from behind the girls. A moment later, Ranma forced his way between them. "Listen up. Like I was trying to tell you before, I'm really a…" he trailed off as he finally espied Kasumi's mostly-unclothed state. His attention was transfixed by the sight of the tiny triangle of hair between her legs, obviously meticulous maintained in order for it to be so perfect shaped. Not a hair was out of place. It was like a work of art.

A backfist delivered perfectly between the eyes ended his ability to appreciate the scenery. He was sent reeling backward and into the hall.

Akane stalked menacingly toward him. "All right. It's pretty obvious you're some sort of peeper that broke into the house hoping for some cheap thrills. Well, I've got news for you, pal. What you're going to get isn't going to be either cheap or thrilling." She cracked her knuckles.

"But I'm not—" Ranma couldn't get out another word as Akane swung at him again. With forewarning, he backed away from the punch. The move drew Akane away from the room and further out in the hall in order to follow him.

Kasumi, now dressed in a robe, came out from the doorway to stand beside Nabiki and watch the fight. Akane evaluated her opponent. "Okay, so you don't suck. That means I can go all out against you." She launched a third punch at him.

Again Ranma darted out of the way by leaping up in the air and going directly above Akane, not allowing her blow to come close. Now that she was overextended, it was simple matter for him to shove her with a hand while he hung upside down above her. He spun his body in mid-air, landing on his feet while she stumbled onto the floor.

"Would you cut it out?!" Ranma said, directing his attention to Akane, who was already starting to return to her feet.

"Excuse me, Peeper. I need your opinion on something," Nabiki said.

Ranma turned around, "I am not a peeper—"

Nabiki then grabbed the front of Kasumi's robe and forced it open, allowing Ranma to get an eyeful of her again.

"Ooh," he said, as his attention was once again riveted to the girl's lower regions

The distraction was enough to allow a powerful haymaker to connect with the back of Ranma's skull. His eyes rolled into the back of his head, and he fell to the floor, unconscious.

"Nabiki!" Kasumi scolded as she closed her robe again, this time making sure to tie the belt at the waist.

"It was for our protection," Nabiki contended. "It was obvious he was way better than Akane. We needed an equalizer, and that was the only one I had on hand."

Akane stared menacingly over the fallen boy. "So what should we do with the peeper?"

Nabiki nudged his unconscious form with her toe. "Not bad looking. Not bad at all." She said to Akane. "You said you saw him naked in the bath, right? What's he like? Was he hung?"

Akane considered that. "He was definitely in real good shape. It's obvious he works out constantly, but not with big body-builder type muscles. He's kind of good-looking. Average length from what I could tell. It's just an estimate, since he wasn't at full extension or anything."

Nabiki considered that. "Too bad. If he was bigger, I'd say we tie him up and make him our sex slave."

Kasumi looked at her aghast. "We can't just tie up any wandering stranger who comes around and use him as a giant sex toy." She reconsidered her words. "Well, yes, it is theoretically possible, but highly improper. If word ever got out, we'd have people trying to break into our home constantly."

Nabiki rolled her eyes. "I was only kidding, Sis."

"Oh. Sometimes it's hard to tell," Kasumi admitted. "Perhaps we should turn him over to the police?"

Nabiki snorted derisively at that. "It would be more humane to drown him in the pond out back then leave him to them. You know how our local constabulary feels about 'Pre-verts'," Nabiki drawled the last word.

Akane said, "I could tie him up and hang him upside down from a tree. Then we could start beating him with kendo sticks. We have enough of them in the dojo."

"Treat him like a giant piñata?" Nabiki asked, mentally picturing it in her mind. "I can see that."

Kasumi gave a tiny clap of her hands in delightful anticipation. "Oh, I like hitting piñatas. This sounds like it could be fun."

"I'll get the ropes," Akane said, quickly heading to the dojo.

Genma sighed, now somewhat happier about having regained his human form. He was a bit put off, though. This was supposed to be a day of joy, the two houses finally on their way to being united at last. But instead of the unbridled enthusiasm he had dreamed about, he still held deep reservations about the whole thing. Perhaps it would have been better to wait a while, at least until after he and the boy had their respective curses cured.

On the other hand, Ranma's curse might have been a blessing in disguise, although that seemed less likely by the day. Shortly after the initial shock of what Jusenkyou had done to them, Genma reconsidered things. Ranma had been growing increasingly unruly of late, especially when it came to the matter of women. Actually he was borderline lascivious at times. Most women didn't like men quite that enthusiastic when it came to romancing them, and to be honest, Ranma was terrible when it came to seducing the opposite sex. It was those tendencies that made Genma worry that he might scare off the Tendou girls. If they had turned out like their mother, then it wouldn't be a problem, but if they were the least bit normal in their tendencies, it would potentially be disastrous. This was a critical time for the joining of the houses. Any small mistake could cost them everything, and the marriage might not take place.

Really, it was all Nodoka's fault. Genma knew he should have taken the boy away when he was three or so, but she wouldn't hear of it. Instead she insisted that Ranma be raised as she saw fit, and the woman had some very odd ideas of what dealings between the two genders entailed. Of course, Genma had no complaints about it in early days of their relationship, but the circumstances surrounding him during that time in his life were far from usual. And as much as he loved his wife, her ideas on appropriate behavior and her tremendous sexual appetite proved too great a strain over the long term. So Genma had been forced to steal away with the boy in the middle of the night, hoping to take him away from her harmful influences before it was too late.

However the damage seemed to have been done. Ranma was far too aggressive when it came to matters of the opposite sex, even for the giant sack of hormones teenagers became; more of his mother's influence corrupting him. That he had almost no success with girls only seemed to make him more determined to try again, usually applying the same methods that had already failed once before. Even turning into a girl did nothing to decrease his desires. Already he had used his gender changing to his advantage a number of times when it came to going into women's public baths and such (and suffered tremendous beatings for it when he was inevitably splashed with hot water). Genma had no doubts it would only get worse unless the boy settled down soon. Which was why Genma was so desperate to make the plan work, and so concerned Ranma would blow such a golden opportunity.

Sometimes he wondered if it was simply Happosai's teachings coming back to the fore. True, it was the fault of those teachings that had caused him and Soun to tie the old bastard up and chuck him into a cave with the explosives, but perhaps in his haste to escape from the Master and his demanding lifestyle, Genma had gone too far. Now with old age Genma was starting to see some form of sound reasoning in living life the Master's way. It was exasperating. Sometimes Genma wondered if life wasn't a giant pendulum and he was stuck forever swinging back and forth from one extreme to the next.

"You seem distracted, Saotome."

Genma turned to his companion. "Just considering matters. By the way, Tendou, do the girls act overly much like their mother?"

Soun began to sweat. "Perhaps a little. Why do you ask?"

"I suspected as much. That would explain what's going on outside." Genma pointed out the window.

Glancing that way, Soun saw Akane hauling the bound and gagged Ranma over a tree limb, allowing him to dangle in midair, upside-down. She then tied him off on a peg leftover from the volleyball net they sometimes hung in back. Once properly secured, the girls spaced themselves evenly apart around him, and drew back their kendo sticks, ignoring the squirming youth's muffled protests.

Soun shot to his feet. "I don't think they're starting a courting ritual with him. I think they really mean to beat him senseless."

Genma sighed as he followed Soun out the back and shouted at the girls to wait. So much for things turning out easy. It looked like it was going to be the hard way again. It was always the hard way.

"Wow, so you really are a guy." Nabiki poured a kettle of hot water over the girl's soaked head and watched in awe as Ranma's form shifted gender for the sixth time in as many tens of seconds.

Ranma spat out some of the water. "I just had a bath, you know."

"I just never met someone like that," Nabiki said, amazed and amused at the same time. "So, do you swing both ways?"

"No way! I'm only straight. Allow me to demonstrate my heterosexuality." He embraced Nabiki and puckered up. The kettle met his lips with a resounding clang.

"No, thanks. I'll take your word for it." Nabiki eased herself out of his grasp and situated herself between her sisters again.

Soun was positively beaming as he announced, "Since Ranma is actually a boy, there isn't any reason for one of you to not marry him. We can decide on who he should marry right now."

"Unless we have other interests at the moment," Akane said.

"Or we're looking for someone more mature," Kasumi reminded him.

"Or we don't really want to be tied down at the moment," Nabiki finished.

Ranma panicked. Ideally he had hoped the girls would fight over the right to be engaged to him, making it easy to sleep with all of them. That they were all attractive made him burn with desire for that outcome even more. But with all of them balking, he had to think fast before permanent damage was done. This was his big chance to get laid. There was no way he would let it pass up without a fight. Fortunately, he had a 'plan' to make things go more smoothly.

Subtly Ranma rolled back the right sleeve of his shirt and turned the inner forearm towards his eyes. He had prepared a list of things to do to get a girl's interest. And he knew the list was legitimate and would work. After all, he had copied it right out of 'Cosmo'. He looked at the words, and mentally cursed. With all the water Nabiki had doused him with, the letters had smeared until they were almost illegible. He brought his arm up and squinted at the first word. Something about flattening them? He made a fist, and then realized it was to 'Flatter' them.

Ranma unclenched his fist and cleared his throat. "I have to agree, though for different reasons. It's obvious all of these girls have qualities which would make them suitable to marry." Seeing he had the girls' interest, he continued, starting with Kasumi. "I see that you are a mature woman that takes her responsibilities seriously, but it does nothing to diminish your beauty." Especially her pussy, which he had seen twice already and was eager to catch a glimpse of a third time, and under more intimate conditions.

Seeing Kasumi accept the compliment with a smile, Ranma turned to Nabiki. "And I can see that you're a bright and charming girl that knows what she wants. Very shrewd and intelligent, which, while some men might find intimidating, I find alluring."

Ranma felt a surge of pride as she obviously reconsidered her initial assessment. His plan was working. This was the sort of sheer genius even his father could never come up with. He continued on to Akane. "And you are obviously active and into athletics. You also have one of the nicest asses I have ever seen."

He saw Akane frown slightly at that. Kasumi and Nabiki seemed a bit taken aback. Panicking, Ranma said, "Um, you also have really firm breasts, and unlike some guys that have a fixation on big ones, I find them really appealing, even if they aren't as big as mine when I'm in my cursed form." He saw the effect that had on Kasumi and Nabiki: disapproval and general amusement respectively.

He turned to them, words coming out with a machine-gun like speed. "Not that you two have bad chests either. I like them too. I like breasts of all sizes, unless they are absolutely flat-chested, since I think a woman should be shaped like a woman, which all three of you are."

He began sweating; even his father and Mr. Tendou looked irritated at his comments.

Nabiki leaned forward and patted him on the top of the head. "And you were doing so good, too, Ranma. Very nice try." She rose to her feet and said to the two fathers, "How about this? We'll not reject the engagement out of hand. We'll have Ranma live under our roof and get to know him better, and after the appropriate amount of time, we can make our choice."

Both men looked relieved. Soun said, "Yes, there's no need to rush into anything."

Genma nodded his head in agreement, but for different reasons. He could not help feeling something was a bit off, and the recriminations about the marriage were still there. It would definitely be for the best to wait until he felt better about the situation.

Ranma appeared satisfied as well. Spending some time with the girls, they could get to know him better. And once they were impressed with his manliness they would sleep with him. Like his mother always said, women enjoyed having their bodies appreciated by manly men. And the more manly the man, the more appreciation they would show. And Ranma was certainly a manly man, curse notwithstanding. It was the natural order to things, and his mother would never steer him wrong. But even if those teachings didn't result in his desired outcome, one thing was for certain in staying with the Tendous.

It was sure going to be an interesting time.


To be continued.

Author's notes: Now the damage has been done. This chapter was a touch slow and on the tame side since the groundwork needed to be laid in this alternate universe, allowing you to get a feel for what is to come. I can guarantee this will only be worked on sporadically, since I can't write this style of thing for long stretches of time. Second chapter might not be that long in coming, but don't count on this being written regularly. I haven't quit work on my other fics, it's just that I needed a break on 'Things We Wish For', I wanted to get started on Sextacular since it'll take a long time to finish, (it has been running around in my head for well over a year) and I wanted to experiment with a more humorous style of lemon, which are not that common nowadays. (well, an intentionally silly one, I should qualify). Plans are for only one true lemon scene per chapter, since I do not want to overdo things, and I would like some semblance of structure and plot to the story to make it a more enjoyable read (as opposed to the Ranma's Girl 'Orgy' series *Shudder*). I think I have a few ideas that haven't been utilized too often in the past that should keep reader interest.

It should be noted that the point of change in this universe goes farther back then Ranma spending more time with his mother. All will be revealed eventually.

And as to Ranma and his quest to 'get some'… Come on, this is the Ranmaverse. Even staying with three women who are a bit loose in the morals department, you know it won't be that easy. ^_^

Thanks for reading. And special thanks to TH Tiger for looking it over.

—DB Sommer

Chapter 2
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