An All Purpose Cultural Catgirl Nuku-Nuku spamfic
by DB Sommer
Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to APCCNN. They are owned by Movic/King Records, Yuzo Takada, and Futaba Sha.
Any and all C+C is appreciated. You can contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Forward: This isn't canon Nuku-Nuku. In fact, it's quite the opposite. It's sort of a different take on what would have happened. I'll also admit up front this isn't one of my better works, or much of a fic. It's simply an idea that came to me while hanging with the fanfic chat people, and I decided to put the idea down. Now, let's get started…
The morning rays of the sun fell across the bed and splashed across Ryunosuke Natsume's face, forcing him to pry open bleary eyes and accept the fact it was the start of another day. Groaning with the usual weariness that dogged him every morning, he tossed the covers aside and made himself get out of bed. What he really wanted to do was head toward the bathroom and clean up, cold water always washed away the remnants of sleep that clung to him, but as always there was one task he had to do before all others. It would take the longest, so it had to be dealt with first.
Bracing himself, he made his way to the other spare bedroom and the only non-related occupant of the new apartment his Father had dragged him to in an effort to 'escape the clutches' of Ryunosuke's mother. He made a mental note to call her after school and assure her that he and Father were fine. He was a dutiful son, after all.
He arrived outside the bedroom. Knowing what he would find before he put his hand on the doorknob, Ryunosuke released a sigh and opened the door. Sure enough, there was the familiar form of an attractive, naked teenage girl curled up in a ball at the foot of the bed.
A second sigh escaped Ryunosuke's lips. He made a great production of clearing his throat and said in a firm voice, "Nuku-Nuku, it's time to get up."
The figure didn't move.
Louder, he repeated, "It's time to get up."
One lid half opened, focused for a single second on Ryunosuke, then promptly shut again.
Both eyes finally opened. They shot Ryunosuke a vexed look. It was one Ryunosuke recognized, having seen it on his father's face on a number of occasions when the older man had to be pried away from his experiments and prodded into useful things, like sleeping and eating; it was an expression of irritation at what was obviously considered an interruption of important work. Or in Nuku-Nuku's case, important sleep.
Nuku-Nuku uncurled from her ball and raised her arms up over her head, stretching them out and giving any bystanders a perfect sight of her impressive build.
Ryunosuke felt a headache coming on. There was a time, when Nuku-Nuku first joined them, that her nudity bothered him, but that felt like ages ago with how manic and uncertain Ryunosuke's life had become. Now it was almost natural to see her prance about without clothing. However, there were other considerations. "Would you please put on some clothes?"
"Why?" Nuku-Nuku asked.
Yes, the headache was getting worse. "Because it'll keep you warm."
"Nuku-Nuku isn't cold," she said matter-of-factly.
"It'll keep you from distracting everyone else."
"Why should Nuku-Nuku care about that?"
It was time to fall back to the statement that tended to make her see things his way. "Because people will stare and bother you a lot if you don't."
He could almost see Nuku-Nuku's thought processes engage as her mind employed the calculation that was used to make any important decisions: Will doing this require more effort than not doing it?
"Nuku-Nuku will get dressed," she said.
Good, she was seeing things his way. She did seem to trust his judgment, which had taken a while to earn. Not that they argued much. Actually, Nuku-Nuku never really argued with anyone, although that was largely because she was very good at ignoring things. Arguing required effort, after all.
Just as Ryunosuke was about to leave the room, he turned and said, "And remember to put on the panties first." There was little more bizarre than a girl walking around with panties over her shorts. He added, "And don't forget the bra." She hated those things with a passion, but the stares she drew, as well as the type of guys that approached her when she walked around in a white tee-shirt, made wearing them a necessity.
Nuku-Nuku opened one of the drawers to her dresser and looked over the undergarments distastefully. She asked, "Where is Ryunosuke going?"
"I'm going to clean myself up."
"Nuku-Nuku can clean Ryunosuke," she offered.
"Ah, no thanks." Cleaning Nuku-Nuku style meant receiving a full-body licking. He had no interest in that, especially after seeing some of the places she put that tongue. "I prefer baths."
Nuku-Nuku gave him an appalled look. She still hadn't quite grasped the concept that humans enjoyed being in water. In the early days, Ryunosuke and his father had tried bathing her once.
"I'll get breakfast," Ryunosuke informed her as he left the room.
Ryunosuke cast a glance at his father and Nuku-Nuku. His father was deeply engrossed in writing something down in a tiny notebook, while Nuku-Nuku watched Ryunosuke carefully. It was obvious that she was anxious to be fed, since her 'cat ears' had sprung up from the housing in the back of her skull and were at full extension. Ryunosuke appreciated the attention, but having to make breakfast every morning was a bit of a hassle. Still, his father was a terrible cook, and Nuku-Nuku didn't quite seem to comprehend that all food couldn't be eaten raw.
Ryunosuke finished placing some food on the last plate, then picked up both that one and another, and walked over to the kitchen table, depositing the plates in front of the other members of his 'family'.
His father began to eat heartily. Nuku-Nuku took one look at the plate, then her ears went down to half their previously level of eagerness.
"This isn't fish," she said.
"We're out of fish," Ryunosuke said. "Those are eggs. They're good for you."
Nuku-Nuku stared at him suspiciously. She then lowered her head and sniffed the food. After a moment, her ears then retracted back into her skull. "Nuku-Nuku will grab some pigeons later," she announced, then rose from the table and headed directly toward the nearest sunbeam. It took her but a moment to lie down and curl up in a ball, allowing the rays to bathe her body.
Ryunosuke cleared his throat and said in an unnaturally happy voice, "I've got an idea, Nuku-Nuku. Why don't you start going to school with me?"
Her eyes half opened. In a tired voice, she asked, "Why?"
"So you can learn things."
Nuku-Nuku continued staring at him, unblinking. Ryunosuke had the disturbing feeling he was being told this was easily the most moronic thing in the world that had ever passed from his lips.
Ryunosuke's father spoke up. "It will also allow you to get a job."
Ryunosuke suddenly felt one up on his father as Nuku-Nuku's 'real' ears managed to flatten.
"Work," she said acidly.
His father pressed on, adjusting his tactics slightly. "You'll make money. You can use it to buy all the food you can eat."
"Nuku-Nuku hunts for all the food she needs," she replied
Ryunosuke couldn't argue that one. With her cybernetic body and advanced computer systems, she was easily able to catch as many birds and mice as she wanted. The only thing she refused to chase when she was hungry was fish. Ryunosuke's father had actually designed an outfit that would allow Nuku-Nuku to swim and float, despite the tremendous weight from her titanium reinforced frame, but there was that whole 'Fish Live In Water' stigma Nuku-Nuku couldn't seem to get past. Still, her efforts at bagging rodents and avians were a tremendous success. She was even generous enough to share some of her catch with her 'Little Brother and Papa'. They usually accepted the offerings gratefully, then tossed them in the garbage when Nuku-Nuku wasn't looking.
Ryunosuke's shoulders slumped in defeat. "You're right. You should remain here." Besides, despite having a virtually unlimited power source, Nuku-Nuku easily slept ninety percent of the time. By his father's estimation, the sun would probably go out before Nuku-Nuku ran out of energy. She'd make a poor student taking naps for most of the day.
"Have a good day at school," Nuku-Nuku said before returning to her curled up position.
Ryunosuke thanked Nuku-Nuku and headed out. As he left the apartment, he realized with a touch of guilt that as much as he liked Nuku-Nuku, and was glad they had saved her from certain death, he was a touch disappointed. When his father had first announced his intentions, Ryunosuke had been excited at the idea of the cat having a human body, especially one so powerful. He had envisioned the two of them energetically cavorting about and having all sorts of exciting adventures. Oh, it would probably be difficult and trying, just like his parents were, but in the end he was certain he could handle and enjoy the excitement, just as he did his family. It wasn't until the reality of the situation set in that Ryunosuke became cognizant of one important detail he had forgotten:
When you stick the brain of a cat inside a state of the art combat cybernetic robot, all you're really left with is a quarter ton of feline.
Author's notes: Come on. You know that if you were going realistically with the 'cat brain inside a cyborg body' idea this is exactly what would happen. The only times a cat's as energetic as the real Nuku-Nuku is if it's chasing something small and furry. Just ask any cat owner. As I mentioned earlier, conversations in fanfic chat from about a millions years ago spawned this idea, and I finally decided to jot it down. Not that you could make a real fic out of it, for obvious reasons. Just an alternate look at things.
PS: During the entire time it took to write this fic, my two cats have been lying on a couch with the sun shining on them through the shades. Their greatest physical effort over the course of this time was for one to raise his head and lick his fur for all of ten seconds before curling back into a ball and lying against his buddy. ^_^
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