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A Ranma ½ / El Hazard OAV crossover story
by Corwin

Disclaimer: Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Kitty and Viz Communications own Ranma 1/2. Hayashi Hiroki, Pioneer and Viz Communications own El Hazard.


Chapter 3


"My pretty, you've come to me at last," a voice sultrily exclaimed. Wakened from her slumber, Ranma stiffened as she felt hands probe her nether areas. "Fatora, my love, now that I've returned from a trip to my parents, we can finally indulge in our hot lesbian… activities."

Alielle's head peaked up from under the sheets, followed by her upper body, and she smiled at Ranma's frozen face, waving a pair of handcuffs in front of the redhead.

Images of the dream with Londs intertwined with the frightening nightmares of Kuno confessing his love and hunting his pigtailed goddess, despite Ranma's best efforts to block them out. "Y-You…" the pigtailed girl stammered, his eyes flashing dangerously. "You sicko! DIE!"

A fist whizzed by the short purple-haired girl's right cheek, her agility saving her from a nasty bruise.

"Ooh, S and M!" Alielle exclaimed, purring. "Kinky!" She turned away from Ranma and wiggled her butt at the redhead suggestively.

"Get lost!" Ranma exclaimed, clenching and unclenching her fists hysterically.

Alielle pouted. "How rough… I have just the thing for the occasion!" The purple-haired girl reached into the cleavage of her nightie, pulling out a twenty-inch spiked rubber dildo and presenting it to the other girl.

"That's it! Die, bitch!" Ranma growled and launched herself at the other girl.


Explosions rocked the castle at night, waking up everyone. Soldiers rushed towards the source — Princess Fatora's room — but were hesitant to enter it due to the princess' reputation. Eventually, Londs and Rune Venus arrived on the scene, just in time to see a charred girl crash through the doors to the royal suite.

"And stay out!" Ranma-chan yelled from the inside, throwing the disfigured dildo after her. A gaping Londs, with a slight trail of drool running down his chin, intercepted it, saving the fleeing girl.

"A lovers' quarrel," one of the soldiers whispered, the rest nodding in hushed awe. Some were drooling slightly.

Rune Venus sighed heavily, massaging her temples. "Go back to your posts." As the soldiers obliged, she continued telling herself, 'It's not Ranma's fault. Nothing is Ranma's fault. He is too perfect.'

A loud cry of "Where on El Hazard am I now?!" was heard throughout the palace grounds, and the princess had her answer. It was all that other boy's fault! Ryo-something… whatever he was called, anyway.

Noticing a half dozen soldiers that still had to vacate the premises, Rune Venus beckoned them over to her. "Find that other boy and beat him up."

The soldiers looked at their princess with fear evident in their eyes, but gulped as one at her seething glare. Saluting, they ran off with a cry of, "Yes, ma'am!"

Soon after, indignant cries shortly followed by sounds of an intense battle filtered into the palace. The princess paid them no heed.

Left alone, not counting Londs, who was avidly trying to take out the dildo that was stuck in his mouth, Rune Venus allowed herself to smile. It was not a nice smile. First, that other boy would get his. Then….

The chocolate-haired princess glanced at her sister's bedchambers, currently occupied by God's gift to her. She licked her lips.


"Did you sleep well, Ranma?" Ryoga asked the redhead with a smirk. "I could hear your screams way over from the fountain outside."

"And what were you doing there, moron? Getting yourself lost?" Ranma shot back snidely.

Ryoga growled and balled his fists, but a female shout stopped him in his tracks.

"Fatora!"

Ranma paled for a moment, feeling someone firmly attach themselves to her butt, before her body started shaking and her face adopted an unhealthy purple shade. "D-D-DIE!" the enraged redhead yelled, as her battle aura exploded all around her.

Guards and maids ran away, shrieking girlishly in terror, and even Ryoga took a step back at the sheer power his rival put out. Alielle, however, continued to latch onto Ranma's curves and even managed to cop a feel.

"DAMMIT! Get off, perverted lesbo chick!" Ranma yelled trying to shake the determined girl off of her. Running out of options, she struck the ground with her right heel, crying out desperately, "Bakusai Tenketsu!"

Nothing happened, but Ranma didn't give up, continuing to try and duplicate the technique, no matter how futile it might have been.

Upon yelling "Bakusai Tenketsu!" for the fortieth time, the ground underneath her rumbled and a myriad of sharp stones erupted from underneath El Hazard's surface.

Ranma and Alielle were pelted by countless small stones and slumped to the ground, sporting a multitude of bruises and small cuts. Alielle's face somehow managed to land on Ranma's right breast.

"FIEND! How dare you steal my trademark technique!" Ryoga roared, finally shaking out of his stupor at seeing his most hated rival duplicate the technique in so short amount of time and revising it to work with his foot. Balling up his right fist, the Lost Boy shook it at the prone pair. "First the offense of the groin, and now this? Saotome Ranma, I shall never forget this offense!"

"Ranma?" Alielle groggily asked. "Who's Ranma?"

Ranma groaned and tried to bang his head against the ground. Unfortunately for him, he was too worn off from trying to shake off the over-zealous purple-haired girl and the damage done to his system from the side effects of the Bakusai Tenketsu. "Hot water… my kingdom for a cup of hot water…."

Hot water was immediately dumped over his head. Looking up gratefully, Ranma was able to spot Rune Venus tackling him with a flying glomp. Nuzzling her face to his, she purred.

"My dear Prince Charming, you know not how much I suffered while we were separated!"

"It was only for one night!" Ranma squeaked.

"One night too much," the princess retorted with a pout.

"Hey! What about MY GROIN?!"

Everyone turned to look at Ryoga, who had realized just what he had yelled out loud.

Rune Venus frowned. "Guards! Dead Meat is acting like a pervert again."

Fifty guards with spears and swords surrounded the Lost Boy, trembling slightly in his presence yet obeying her unspoken command nevertheless.

"RANMA!" Ryoga roared, grabbing his umbrella and waving it threateningly to keep the guards at bay. "This is ALL YOUR FAAUUULT!!!"

"So, where were we?" Rune Venus asked, tracing the outline of Ranma's jaw seductively. "Oh, yes! We were discussing spending a night together." The princess grinned, very catlike.

"This… isn't Fatora?" Alielle asked quietly. "This is a guy?" After taking the liberty to explore Ranma's body on her own, she smiled lecherously, exclaiming, "He's a hunk!" and latching onto his right foot.

The pigtailed boy fainted.


"Let's go, already!" The pigtailed boy started walking for the boarding ramp of the flying ship that was going to take Ryoga and he to Mount Muldoon.

"Please, Big Brother Ranma!" Alielle begged, latching onto his chest. "Let me come with you!"

"Get it off! Get it off!" Ranma yelled, jumping around.

Rune Venus ran towards him, shouting, "Wait, my love!"

"Ah, hell! She's here too." Ranma groaned. Hearing someone chuckling, he shot Ryoga a dirty look.

"Please, my prince! You mustn't forget Ura!"

"Ura? Who's Ura?" Ranma asked confusedly, momentarily halting his attempts to dislodge Alielle off of him. That proved to be a mistake, as the sneaky girl cuddled even closer to him.

Ranma was about to pry her off when he felt something. 'A presence; one I had not felt for a long time,' he thought grimly.

"Prince Ranma," Ura said, running over to the pigtailed boy and wrapping himself around his body.

Ryoga stared in awe at the cat that had just talked and became a living armor. He was going to ask the princess about Ura when desperate cries got his attention.

"GET THEM OFF! GET THEM OFF!!!"

"The great Ranma Saotome? Scared of a mere cat?" Ryoga asked, barely managing to hold in his laughter. 'Alielle I can understand. She's one scary girl. But a cat? A CAT?!' Suddenly, Ryoga grinned. 'This is it! The key to defeating that cheating bastard!'

"Oh my!" Rune Venus exclaimed, covering her mouth with her right hand. "Perhaps this wasn't such a good idea." Wincing as Ranma's cries escalated, she commanded, "Ura, please let go of Ranma."

The cat complied, and Ranma scurried over to the flying transport, Alielle still attached to him. He raised the ramp and quickly waved his hand at the ropes holding the transport in place, willing them to release it.

Ranma's face adopted a surprised expression when the ropes snapped, as if cut by a knife. 'Hmm, gotta be the air pressure,' he thought, wrinkling his forehead, his problems momentarily forgotten. 'Cool!'

Seeing the flying ship slowly embark without him, Ryoga growled, adding this offense to the already impossibly long list of transgressions Saotome had committed against him. Picking up Ura, he bunched his legs and jumped onto the deck.

"Wait!" Rune Venus yelled after him. "But what about Ranma's reaction to Ura?"

Ryoga grinned. "Don't worry, I'll make sure he remains alive and in one piece," he said to her cheerfully. 'You and I are going to become very good friends, Ura. Yes, we are….'

Frowning slightly, the princess waved at the departing ship. 'I shouldn't worry so much. After all, Ranma can handle anything. Can't he?'


A blue-skinned woman walked over to Prince Gallus, her hips swaying seductively as she walked. She was barely able to see his face in the dim light that was in the underground caverns where they had met in secret. Brushing away a loose strand of hair that covered her right eye, she bowed to him formally.

Gallus nodded at her in welcome.

"For what purpose have you summoned here, my lord?" Kiriya asked, rising from her bow.

"Princess Fatora appeared yesterday alongside my bride-to-be, her older sister, Princess Rune Venus. Together, the two were able to gather the support of the Alliance."

"Princess Fatora?!" the woman exclaimed in shock. "But that's—"

"Impossible, I know. I didn't go through all the length of kidnapping her just to let her go. Rune must have somehow found a double." Gallus waved his left hand in an uncertain fashion. "Now, this fake is going to Mount Muldoon to ask the three sages to unseal the ultimate weapon."

"The entire situation must seem extremely ironic to you, my liege." Kiriya chuckled, careful not to get carried away and risk angering him. "The only real way to disprove their claim and discredit Rune Venus would be to reveal that you are the one who has the real Princess Fatora."

Gallus grinned, the smile failing to reach his eyes. "I have leaked information to the Bugrom about the fake princess' journey." Rubbing his temples, he finally looked her in the eyes.

The beautiful blue-skinned woman recoiled from his weary expression.

"The new Bugrom Commander may be better than anything the Alliance has… but that doesn't say much. I am tempted to say he has no brain, but that would describe any given human." Gallus shook his head. "Following this line of thought, this… commander's… brain activity goes into the negative outside of battle."

"How so, Lord Gallus?"

"I had been informed that upon receiving pictures of Princess Fatora of the highest quality and resolution, which I had taken personally during the brief stops between her… interrogation… sessions, he drooled over them and started ranting, disregarding the information on her travel route that was included in the missive."

"That borders on the unbelievable," Kiriya said to herself sarcastically, fully aware of the princess's 'interrogation sessions'.

"And yet, it is the truth." Gallus handed the woman a crossbow and a knife. "Assassinate the imposter before she gets to the priestesses."

Shaking her head slowly in puzzlement at her leader's obliviousness, Kiriya took the proffered weapons, eyeing them strangely. "My Lord, surely we possess better choice of arms—"

"This mustn't be traced to us," he cut her off. "Now go, and make the Phantom Tribe proud."

Bowing silently, the blue-skinned assassin turned around swiftly and left, melting into the shadows. And then, her disembodied voice giggled excitedly. "My dream of living with a wonderful husband and a cute pet in a sweet, sweet home is finally at hand!"

Gallus sighed. As Kiriya's excited laughter became more and more distant, he mused, "Well, if nothing else, there's that new recruit…."


In the meanwhile, in an ancient, dark dungeon located somewhere in the land of Henta-Lionne, the frustrated moans of a Roshtarian princess crashed against the sound-proof walls of the complex, as the voyeuristic redhead was repeatedly denied her climax….

To be continued.

Chapter 4
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