In the anime world of Ranma ½, there exist four stalkers. These are their stories….

Disclaimer: Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Kitty and Viz Communications own Ranma ½.

Additional flavoring provided by Here is Greenwood (manga: Yukie Nasu, Hakusensha and Viz Communications), I My Me Strawberry Eggs (Pioneer, TNK and Geneon Entertainment), Law and Order (Dick Wolf and NBC), Katte ni Kaizo (manga: Koji Kumeta and Shogakukan) and Minto na Bokura (manga: Wataru Yoshizumi and Shueisha).

He caught himself staring at her again as she passed his residence on her way to school, surrounded by her friends. A can of some popular fruit juice fell out of her hand as she stumbled, and he shook his head sadly, knowing that even with his hard work, she was still clumsier than most. The can rolled down the sloped road, and the poor girl was forced to run after it, almost falling down twice in the process.

His heart went out to her. Oh, how he would like nothing better than getting out there and help her. But no… she was just a junior high kid, and he was fresh out of college, just starting to work in his chosen profession, despite the difficulties he had at getting his first job and the masks he had to wear for its sake each day. In any case, the age difference was too large. Society wouldn't understand. More importantly, her parents won't, and that would mean that they would be separated. And if that was the result of his help, then he would selfishly let her chase the juice can, looking at her futile efforts to catch it from behind closed blinds. He would beat himself for letting her face this challenge on her own, but he would be sure to dedicate his nightly dreams to her to appease his guilt….

Suddenly, a boy stopped the can's slide with a well-placed foot. He squatted down and grabbed it, observing it idly. When she ran towards him, however, he threw it over his shoulder. She tried catching it out of the air, jumping after it, but her aim was off and she missed, falling on the ground and scraping her knee.

That boy would pay for hurting his precious Kasumi, Ono swore. Oh yes, he would pay for the offense of the can! But first, he would go out there and treat sweet Kasumi's wound. It was a fine chance to touch her foot….

Ono Tofu, MD., wiped the bit of drool that appeared mysteriously out of the corner of his mouth, and grabbed his first aid kit, stepping outside of his clinic….

Two children were playing together in a sandbox, no bigger than ten.

"Will you be my wife?" the boy asked suddenly.

"Why?" his game partner asked him, curiously.

"Because mama told me that then I would be manly, and we could do this and that together, and even that other thing, sometimes, if we have Vaseline nearby—"

Having heard enough, the girl grabbed a huge mallet for her size and smacked him over the head, repeating a word she heard her mother use often, "Pervert!"

With a huff, Shampoo stalked away, leaving Mousse dazed in the sandbox.

Time passed, and Mousse proposed again and again, with similar results. He never gave up, though, until that faithful day where his innermost dreams came true….

"My darling Shampoo!" Mousse yelled, running on what passed for the Joketsuzoku's main street.

"Get lost, stupid Mousse!" the object of his lust yelled just as loudly, running away from him. "I have an important message to deliver to Silky's Sheets and Pillowcases."

He sighed blissfully. If it weren't for moments like this, Mousse might have given up on his love. But she just kept sending him mixed signals. After all, if she never intended to marry him, then why would she go to get bed sheets for them in such a hurry? On the other hand, she had never let him into her bed, sitting on it with a mace in each hand, bashing anyone who would dare approach her. And he always fell asleep before her, while waiting just outside her bedroom's window, hoping for the opposite.

In any case, his beloved was too prim and proper. He wouldn't mind having fun with her on the floor, on the dining room table, in the chimney or over the challenge log….

He stumbled, his foot slipping into a hole in the ground, and was able to prevent his body from falling by catching his balance. The pair of glasses he wore wasn't as lucky, however, and smashed against the ground. In search of them, he accidentally stepped on the thick lenses, cementing their demise.

The problem was that albeit his nose had healed from when Shampoo had broken it when he first proposed to her, ever since then his glasses just wouldn't sit right. If he didn't keep pushing them up the bridge of his nose periodically, they would fall down. That went doubly so for lowering his head, where he was forced to hold his glasses in place with a hand constantly. That problem usually led him to putting his glasses above his brows or higher, into his hair, reasoning that he could see well enough without them.

After all, he had just seen Shampoo in that dark alley to the right! She had, no doubt, been waiting for him to consummate their love! Running towards her, Mousse giggled like mad. His persistence had finally paid off, overcoming even his love's prudishness, when it came to open displays of love in public.

Hmm, he mused, reaching his Shampoo. She had already assumed the position, waiting for him on all fours. Mousse shed a tear to the loss of their innocence, brushed his love's tail aside and dropped his pants….

He had first seen her for real in the showers, which since then always held a special place in his heart. It was past curfew, and everyone was already fast asleep. He was feeling naughty, however, and went to the bathroom to pass the time. The shower would erase all evidence, and the smell would not be felt — that was a bathroom at an all-boys junior high, after all.

And there, he suddenly saw her. The chest area was only just developing, and didn't really need to be bound yet, but she did so anyway, carefully unwrapping long bandages from her breasts. He must have made a noise, as she crouched suddenly, putting one hand across her chest and sweeping the area with her gaze.

Caught in the act, Tsubasa stepped forward into the light, and waved at her, smiling inwardly as she visibly relaxed.

"Oh, it's just you, Tsubasa-chan!" his Ukyo said in relief, letting off the breath she had been holding. "Good! Could you be a dear and stand watch for me, please?"

He could never refuse a request from his goddess. "Sure thing, Ukyo-chan!" Tsubasa chirped in a high-pitched voice, turning to the side, his frilly dress and pink wig trailing behind him. Out of the corner of his eye, the boy saw Ukyo continue undressing.

"Going to take a shower?" he asked, keeping the conversation going. Besides, it gave him a good excuse to look at her directly, instead of stealing glances.

Ukyo nodded, setting the unwrapped bandages aside carefully. "I can't take a bath with the guys because, well… you know."

Of course he knew! What a surprise had it been for him, when the boy he had received as a roommate revealed himself to be a girl! Tsubasa's frilly female disguise was meant to be a joke on the new residents of the dorm, but he never imagined it would actually put him in such a dreamy situation!

Tsubasa did an approximation of a pleasant smile. "I do."

"Is that why you were here too, Tsubasa-chan?" Ukyo asked, hanging her uniform pants on a hook, next to the one that held her shirt and jacket. "Taking a bath while the others are asleep?"

"Err…." Thinking feverishly for an answer, Tsubasa coughed. "No… I mean, there is a special condition… a medical condition… and anyway, I have a special permission to use the staff's bathroom…."

Ukyo nodded to herself. "Good for you, girl!" She stepped out of her underwear, and smiled at Tsubasa. "Thanks for watching out for me, sugar. Sorry to keep you here for so long and all."

"It was a pleasure," he said sincerely. His throat dry, he ventured, "I could do it some more… watching, I mean."

"Oh, I wouldn't want to bother you…."

"It's no bother! Honest!" he insisted. "Anything for you!"

"Thanks, Tsubasa-chan!" Ukyo called out with a smile, stepping into the shower stall. Turning the faucet, she added, "You're a doll!"

Tsubasa watched water cascade down her back through the half-open shower curtain, and smiled. You're the doll, he thought. My doll… forever and ever….

Here she was again, refusing his advances. And in such a violent way, too… he would have to be compensated later.

That was the way of things, really. One sister would crush his… hope, while the other would instantly make it swell. The damage seemed equivalent to four risqué pictures of Akane; the fifth he would have to pay for.

Hey, a girl had to eat as well!

Not that the money would be going for food. No… all the money she had ever gathered went to her 'Brain Surgery Fund'. Everything… it was all for him. Just for him.

He was her responsibility, after all, ever since that fateful day… that day when they were playing together in a playground, no older than six, and she had kicked her best friend in the back. She was just kidding, of course, but unfortunately… unfortunately, they were scaling a plastic house together at the time. The poor guy flew three meters down, only to land on his head.

And ever since that day, he had always been… different.

The scams, the blackmails, the expensive presents from all those perverted boys, no matter what she had to do to get them….

Forcing Kasumi to go borrow medical books about neurology from that disqualified Doctor Tofu — who remained as the neighborhood's chiropractor despite losing his license — which counteracted the months of therapy she had gone through and caused her personality to retreat, leaving only an empty, smiling shell in its stead….

Selling lewd pictures of her other sister, which was the hardest thing for her to do, for those were not the pictures she wished her first and only love would cherish and treasure….

All of those were for one goal, and one goal only — to return Tatewaki Kuno back to the brilliant man he was fated to be, and get him to notice her as more than someone's older, mercenary sister.

And she would get her wish soon! Soon, she would have enough money… soon, her beloved Kuno would have the operation….

Life is unfair, but fiction makes allowances. And hence, the stalkers got their just reward, or what passes for such in the anime universe of Ranma ½….

In retrospect, Ono Tofu realized, he should not have babbled about his hidden passions and desires while outside. In retrospect, having his hands travel up Kasumi's thigh had been a mistake. In retrospect, it would have just been better to proclaim his love clearly and leave on a long trip of self-determination until Kasumi had graduated from high school.

But the past is always seen with 20/20 vision….

Mousse was found several hours later, with a goofy expression on his face and mumbling something about Shampoo and no need for Vaseline.

Vaseline put a restraining order on Mousse just in case.

The attack on Cologne's cow was officially blamed on the Musk, but Mousse was shunned from then on by the other villagers.

The cow was put to sleep.

Tsubasa continued watching Ukyo, lost in his own world, and missed the girl turn off the water. He missed her open the curtain. He missed her glance at his groin wide-eyed. He also missed the look of shock and horror that appeared on her face, disgust quickly joining them.

He didn't miss her knee, although his groin made him wish he had, for months to come….

Ukyo's resolve to dress and act as a man was only made firmer by her encounter with the transvestite Tsubasa. She still continues to bind her breasts and dress in male clothing to this day….

Like others before her, Nabiki should have watched what she was saying out loud, and in front of whom. Not appreciating what he was hearing, Tatewaki Kuno reacted. 'Have him get an operation? Have him abandon his one true love, Akane? Unforgivable!' He later claimed that it was all he could remember before his vision was covered with a thick red blanket.

Enraged, the kendoist went berserk and assaulted Nabiki Tendo. In the ensuing fight, Nabiki's younger sister, Akane, and her classmate, a boy by the name of Hikaru Gosunkugi, got mild cuts and bruises, after leaping to Nabiki's defense.

The Furinkan kendo club was able to subdue their captain long enough for Akane Tendo to deliver the finishing blow and knock him unconscious.

No charges were pressed in that case. The five people involved continue to attend the same high school.

Did the victims of the stalkers get their revenge? Judge for yourself.

All characters and situations depicted here are fictional, being loosely based on an anime. Any relation to real people and events is purely coincidental, unless otherwise mentioned in the disclaimer, of course.

Webmaster: Larry F
Last revision: May 21, 2007