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A Ranma ½ fan fiction story
by Corwin

Disclaimer: Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Kitty and Viz Communications own Ranma 1/2.


Shampoo was on her way back to the Nekohanten after shopping at the market. That stupid Mousse always did those errands that were not fit for a woman, but today he got more frisky than usual. He'll heal, eventually, but it'd take at least a week this time. At least, it'd teach him not to mess with true warriors… the Amazon women.

The purple-haired girl sighed, her thoughts sliding into her fantasies. She feared that she was doomed to a life with another woman… a true future leader of the Amazons had to be very strong, and to think that a mere, inferior male would defeat her was preposterous. And then, her airen came.

Ranma Saotome wasn't like the rest of the men. He was so… so superior to them! It was almost as if he were a woman, just like she was. Well, he really was a woman half of the time, so maybe that was the reason.

Shampoo was rudely shaken out of her reverie when her bicycle's front wheel hit a bump on the road, and her purchases went sailing. Crying out in outrage, Shampoo launched her body into the air after them, picking the groceries out of mid-air. Ranma wasn't the only one who knew a few Amazon tricks, after all.

She had almost all of her groceries back in their bags, besides that large watermelon her great-grandmother insisted that she buy. Twisting her body to adjust her fall to the watermelon's trajectory, Shampoo reached for it with her right hand… and then the world went black.


Shampoo's head shot up, her eyes looking around wildly.

"It's alright, child," Cologne said, looking at her with sympathy.

"What happen, great-grandmother? I no can remember anything after catching watermelon," Shampoo said confusedly.

Cologne's expression darkened, and the purple-haired girl bit her lower lip. It wasn't her fault! She'd buy a new watermelon if it meant so much to her great-grandmother.

"Unfortunately," Cologne said grimly, staring right into Shampoo's eyes, "your watermelon flew towards that Kuno boy."

"Oh, is all?" Shampoo asked, letting out the breath she was holding. "Stupid stick boy get hit by watermelon?"

"I'm afraid that's not all, Shampoo. You see, Tatewaki had been trained in a new and powerful sword technique recently. Much like Ranma's Neko-ken, it is activated by a trigger. When Tatewaki Kuno is under that technique, he's invincible!"

"And that trigger…" Shampoo said slowly, understanding dawning on her.

"Yes, great-granddaughter. Watermelons."

The scream that left Shampoo's throat after putting two and two together scared most of Nerima.


"Yo, Kuno, what's up?" Ranma asked the kendoist casually, looking down at him from the fence he was standing on.

"That is none of your concern, simpleton!" Kuno said arrogantly, turning away pointedly.

"C'mon, something's up, right? Why are you so gloomy; run out of nudie pics to keep you company or something?"

Instead of attacking him like the pigtailed boy expected, Kuno's frown deepened.

"Hey, why don't you just come out and say what's bothering you?" Ranma asked, jumping down from the fence.

Whether he liked it or not, the kendoist was one of his friends… and a great sparring practice, even if he were out of his league. Without his daily attacks Ranma figured that his skill might drop eventually.

"I… I have hurt a woman, unintentionally," Kuno said gravely, lowering his head.

Ranma almost fell over. Sure, Kuno attacked women all the time, trying to beat them to get a few dates… but he was never actually ashamed about it before. Besides, with the skill he normally used against women, Ranma figured there wasn't a female martial artist in Nerima who would lose to Kuno.

"All I saw was a watermelon flying at me at a high speed, and then everything became white…" Tatewaki Kuno said mournfully. "When I regained my senses, I saw that Chinese girl, Shampoo, lying on the ground with a nasty bump on her head, and in my hand… in my hand, I saw my drawn weapon!"

"You mean that wooden stick you always carry around, right?" Ranma asked with a smirk.

"It is a weapon worthy of a true samurai!" Kuno raged, his grief momentarily forgotten.

"Whatever, man!" Ranma shouted, laughing. Happy that Kuno was back in his fighting mood, he jumped back on the fence and started running towards Ucchan's, calling out behind his shoulder, "You do know that you'd better watch your back now, don't you? Those Amazons are relentless!"


Kuno was in a tough predicament. He had hurt a girl, however unintentionally, and now his victim would surely come after him for revenge. Very well, as a true samurai, he would gladly atone for his mistake.

But was simply waiting for retribution enough? Shouldn't he offer the fair maiden he'd wronged an apology as well, at the very least? Yes, that he would do!

Stopping at a nearby vendor to purchase some flowers, Tatewaki Kuno was on his was to the Nekohanten, where the purple-haired Amazon was rumored to have taken residence.

The kendoist was so occupied with trying to come up with a suitable apology, that he didn't notice the person in front of him until it was too late. The girl must've had something on her mind as well, because she didn't react in time, and started falling backwards. Regaining his balance at the last possible moment, Kuno managed to grab the girl and stop her fall, smashing the flowers he had been carrying against her back in the meanwhile.

"I apologize, Miss," he said, without looking up to meet her eyes. Had he stooped so low to almost hurt yet another maiden?

Backing away, the purple-haired girl slapped him, sending Kuno sprawling on the ground, the red roses littering the street around them.

Shampoo was mentally kicking herself. To be caught off-guard by that stupid male, and twice in one day, no less?! What a prime example of Amazon warrior she was!

But still, she had a duty to perform. Despite her recent slips, she was still an Amazon, and bound by all of the Amazon laws… including those concerning outsiders and combat. Where at one time Shampoo embraced them happily, when they provided her a link to the man she loved, now they were working against her.

Blinking back her tears, Shampoo grabbed the front of the kendoist's outfit, raising him to his feet, and kissed him firmly on the lips. When she pulled away, looking at the goofy grin on Kuno's face in disgust, Shampoo said the obligatory declaration of love. And then, she promptly kicked Kuno in the privates, knocking him out. Served the bastard right for defeating her!

But still, the momentary satisfaction this gave Shampoo wasn't enough. The idiot that accidentally got a lucky hit against her was apparently serious about his win, as the flowers he carried with him and his shameless behavior seemed to indicate. It seemed as if she'd have to resort to the three years of hell to get this… incident… out of her system….


The next day, Ranma was surprised that Kuno didn't attack him as usual. When he finally found the kendoist during lunch break, he was surprised yet again upon seeing him in Shampoo's company. And if that wasn't bad, the two were acting as newlyweds! Shampoo even giggled girlishly, as she polished Kuno's bokken.

Getting some really nasty mental images, Ranma decided to block the whole ordeal and went over to his best buddy for some free okonomiyaki.

As Kuno was reciting a love poem, dedicated to the purple-haired goddess, he was thinking back to that passionate kiss the Amazon had given him. Apparently, when he'd beaten the girl, she was so impressed by his skill and vitality that she could think of no other man. As much as he loved the pigtailed girl and Akane Tendo, Tatewaki Kuno simply couldn't bear to break this poor girl's heart. And, at least the foul cretin Saotome couldn't take advantage of this girl anymore. Kuno shuddered to think what liberties the sorcerer would've taken with the girl that he'd enchanted to become his wife. If he were to step aside, the poor, naive purple-haired beauty would surely be back in Saotome's grasp.

And, besides, the kiss was really nice. Akane Tendo and the pigtailed girl were too shy in their affections towards him, and it'd been so long since a girl kissed him….

Kuno tried to purge his mind from those thoughts. They weren't fit for a true samurai! He would not think of how good Shampoo's body felt against his, no matter what!


A week passed, and things got into a new routine. Neither Kuno nor Mousse were attacking Ranma anymore, but at least he could still rely on his good ol' pal Ryoga for that. Instead, Mousse chose to attack Kuno. Shampoo would always beat some sense into the myopic Amazon. The pigtailed boy figured that she must really like Kuno to do that. He was sad that Shampoo stopped chasing him, but at least she wasn't angry with him this time, like during the time she wore the reversal jewel. If there was anything that Ranma hated, that was losing friends.

Not to mention that Mousse was really nice to him recently. Ranma figured that while he could rationalize losing Shampoo to the best martial artist in their generation, not to mention the most handsome, and strong, and… well, everything that Mousse obviously wasn't… but losing Shampoo to Kuno was quite insulting. And while Ranma still had three girls after him, Mousse didn't have that to fall back on.

All in all, things were quieting down. Even Nabiki couldn't make money of Shampoo and Kuno anymore, as the lost boy finally showed up earlier that day and bought the information from her. Of course, Nabiki, being the money-grabbing bitch that she was, pulled a fast one on Ryoga. All he knew was that someone interested in Akane had finally made his move on a certain girl….

"Hey, Ranma!" Nabiki called out to the pigtailed boy, bringing him back to earth.

"What is it, Nabiki?" he asked, looking at her expectantly.

"You were thinking that I'm a money-grabbing bitch again, weren't you?" she accused, frowning at him.

As Ranma laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his head, Nabiki mentally smirked. The idiot shouldn't talk out loud when he's thinking.


Shampoo was lying in her bed and thinking over the past month. Her plan had worked; the Kuno boy was like putty in her hands. The Amazon three years of hell technique was most effective indeed.

Too effective, perhaps, she mused.

After spending all this time with the kendoist, she'd started having feelings for him; feelings she couldn't understand. This wasn't the way the technique was supposed to work, was it?

Shampoo felt trapped. She couldn't ask her great-grandmother for help. That look of disappointment that had been in her eyes when she first woke up a month ago after having been defeated by Tatewaki Kuno still haunted her in her dreams. Something happened between the two of them that day… and she couldn't talk as freely with Cologne as she once could.

Recently, however, her dreams have taken a turn from the nightmares where her great-grandmother was looking at her with disappointment. Lately, Shampoo had been dreaming about her future. In every dream, the purple-haired girl found herself married to Kuno.

Sometimes they were walking on a beach together, just the two of them. In other dreams, they were with their children - twins, Rise and Shine. There was even that weird dream where she was chained to a giant plant, and… Shampoo blushed, when she recalled what happened then. The Advanced Bakusai TenkeThrust technique felt so good! Her husband was so good at learning the Amazon techniques and revising them for….

Her husband. She'd thought of Tatewaki when she used that term. Was it a mental slip of the tongue… or something deeper? Tatewaki was certainly stronger than people gave him credit for, and with great-grandmother's training, he'd surely surpass almost any Amazon warrior in their age group, excluding herself. He also knew his place, and could be manipulated much more easily than Ranma.

The name of her first love brought a painful wave of memories along with it. Shampoo still hadn't gotten over him; she never would. He was perfection, and no one could ever top that. Not in her eyes. But, perhaps, there was place in her heart for another?

Shampoo decided to find that out, once and for all. No more trickery, no more Amazon techniques….

Tomorrow, she'd spend a day with Tatewaki Kuno… as herself… and take it from there.

 

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