A Ranma ½ story
by Brian Randall
Disclaimer: All hail Takahashi-sama, for creating the fine works she has. In that vein of thought, I am using her creations without permission from her, Viz, or anyone else who actually does own the rights to Ranma.
Note: Yes, this was an hour challenge. This one's exceptionally… off. I think it's a spamfic, but that doesn't quite convey the sheer… dross that this story is.
In the downstairs bedroom of the Tendo home -- the one that had once housed Happosai -- three figures lay strewn about aimlessly, all of them snoring heavily.
A fourth figure groaned, doubtless from the strain of the previous night's exertions, and rose to stumble towards the bathroom, past a disapproving look from Kasumi.
In the relative safety of the furo -- it had been declared neutral ground, and was therefore 'safe' -- the figure removed the few articles of clothing that had won the tenacious battle to remain on, and tossed them into the hamper.
A splash of water brought about the familiar shock, waking her instantly. She stared stupidly at the bucket in her hand for a long minute before shaking her head and setting it on the floor, alone with her thoughts for the moment.
Of course, no one had ever bothered to closely examine what would happen in an extended relationship with multiple others… what was the plural form of spouse, anyway? Spouses? She grumbled, dismissing it as unimportant.
But like it or not, there were three others in a relationship with her, once rivals, now… She shook her head. She didn't want the three of them. Not at all. It wasn't that they were bad people, it wasn't even that she didn't love them…
Because she did love them, but, not as much as… no sense thinking about what she had lost.
They were nice enough, and they had learned to get along… for her, she supposed. But…
She spat, "Feh. I gave up what I thought I didn't want… and…" She trailed off, staring at the bucket again, and wondering what she was going to do next.
Of course. Solve all the problems of honor and obligations in a method that -- somehow -- Moth- check that. Nodoka. Nodoka somehow found agreeable. Never mind the tenuous legality of the situation.
Having three spouses was an irritation, in the long run. And even though they were all friendly now the strain and irritation of the relationship would eventually fracture it. She felt like she was the only one who could see it, some days. The Amazon never seemed to get along with the others, some days… but…
The curses weren't nearly as much of an impediment as she had originally thought they would be, but… something about the relationships just didn't… make her happy. A crazy Kuno as an in-law was scary enough, but being married to one… She sighed, brushing some hair away. There was genuine love behind the crazed front, despite the occasional wandering eye.
And she knew that she had to respect and love someone who was that… loyal, and eager to defend her name, but… it was nothing she had ever expected. She had thought that she would only fill her original obligation, and then… well, she would be married to the one she truly did love, without having the faint unhappy sense that what she felt for her current spouses was… manufactured… somehow.
And gods, managing a relationship was awkward enough, but when the three of them all decided that they were 'in the mood'… it wasn't easy, and she expected they got a lot more out of it than she did. And then children… when the time came for that, she knew it was going to be messy.
It would be so simple if only she had one, but… but… no, she had to deal with three of them. It was a real pain, some days making her question the worth of the affair.
But… she wanted… she wanted… She wanted what she couldn't have. The girl she had first met in this very house, so long ago, and more importantly…
She looked up sharply, as someone else walked into the room, but… how… how had…
The two stared at each other for a long, shocked moment.
"So… how have you been?"
"Okay, I guess… Just… kind of…"
"Yeah. I know the feeling. Really I do… I don't… I think some days that it's going to drive me nuts, you know?"
"I know what you mean. I'm used to… well. Weird stuff, but this is even weirder than I'm used to."
"Tell me about it. I was wondering though… if… you…"
"You want to add me to your little… harem?"
She dropped her head, wondering how she could have thought that the other would possibly say yes. "Yeah… I guess it's… kind of foolish of me to ask, eh?"
She looked up sharply. "What do you mean?"
"Don't you know -- look… do you love me?"
There was a long moment of silence. "You really are stupid."
She stared at the floor, disconsolate. "I guess I was."
"Of course I love you."
Heaving a sigh of relief, she said, "Then… I love you too. Enough… to share you, if that's the only way I can have you."
Akane smiled. "Some days," she whispered. "I wish it could have been just you and me… but…"
Ranma silenced her with a kiss, then said, "Don't worry about it too much. I'll get used to sharing you with Ryouga, Kuno, and Mousse. As long as I get you, too."
"What are you going to do about Ukyou, Kodachi and Shampoo?"
"Er…" Ranma flushed, looking away. "They decided I wasn't exactly, er… necessary. I got really tired one night and convinced them to try girl/girl…"
Akane laughed, "Oh my…" Maybe it wasn't so bad after all…
Author's notes: Gotta make a balance here, folks. Ranma gets all the girls bunches of times. Why doesn't Akane ever get all the guys? This idea's been bouncing around a while. Oh well.
18:59 I can't do much more with this. It's done.
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