A Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon story
by Daniel R. Oliver
-Oh dear, not another one?!-
I posted this story before under the name of "A Rather Pointless
Fanfic Storyline", but I like this title better.
This is a story about valor…
This is a story about honor…
This is a story about goodwill toward all mankind…
…Aw, who'm I kiddin'? This is a story about insanity.
Disclaimer: Yo! Dis Sailor Moon stuff is owned by Takeuchi Naoko, Koudansha,
TV Asahi, and Toei Douga, and DIC, but I'll dis you if you lay claim to
my stuff (would anyone want to?) like ArbyFish, or… well, I think that's
the only thing I care not to see fall into the wrong hands… just ArbyFish.
The Becoming of The One Who Wasn't — The Formation of Insanity
An author sat quietly at a desk, hunched over. A single candle lit the
room. There was a prominent scratching sound that filled the space between
the man and the darkness. Every few seconds, the scratching would stop,
and the author would dip his quill pen into a deviously black vessel.
This continued as he put each finished page aside, grabbed another one,
and began on the new sheet.
The scratching became progressively more hurried, and the author's posture
became even worse, looking as if he could rest his chin on the desk without
much effort in his new position.
"Yes…" the author said, his voice quiet, but trembling with
The scratching stopped.
He made a sharp jab at the paper with his pen, and set the pen down.
His figure was silhouetted against the light of the candle. The candle
didn't glow very brightly, but there were no other light sources to illuminate
the writer from a behind point of view. He blew a gentle breeze from his
lips, drying the ink from his last scribbles.
"YES, MY PRECIOUS… you are complete…" he clipped the leaves
of paper together.
"AAAAAAAAAHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAA!" he laughed
maniacally, taking the manuscript by both hands and thrusting it into
the air as a crash of lightning tore in through the walls of the dark,
A few minutes passed and a cold, piercing silence settled upon the room.
Suddenly, but slowly, the door behind the man opened with a small, green
creak, and a small, green… thing hopped through it.
Not speaking, it came closer to the man, who had suddenly fallen asleep
and was snoring softly, hugging his work in his arms.
"'Scuse me, sir," the thing said quietly, taking the manuscript
deftly from the bedraggled one's clutches. The small, seal-like animal
fluttered back out the door and landed in the hallway. He flipped through
a few pages of the manuscript, and continued down the old, stone-walled
corridor, hopping lightly away from the room.
*hiSSSS-ss-ss-ssss* the creature laughed at what he had found
contained in the writings.
"WHAT?!?!" a yell came down the hallway, alerting the thing
that it was time to pick up his pace.
"WHERE IS IT… MY PRECIOUS?!?!?!?" the yelling continued,
along with the sound of objects being thrown violently against other objects.
"IT HAS BEEN STOLEN FROM US!!!!!!!!!! " the shouting
became loud enough to be heard outside of the castle.
Arby heard loud footsteps from the direction of the study… they were
The ArbyFish stopped hopping and took wing… er, well, tail anyway,
flying at a rapid rate with the script under one flipper.
The footsteps became louder.
Arby whizzed through the air.
The footsteps became a cacophony of echoing clomps behind the flying
Arby took a glance behind him, flying backwards for a second, and beheld
that the man was gaining on him. He was holding a large, sharp, unpleasant-looking
ax, which he held above his head as he chased the mischievous ArbyFish.
The man was almost on top of Arby. He tilted the ax backward, getting
ready to slice the green thing in two.
*SHING* the ax sliced through the air… and imbedded itself into
Arby darted around the corner as the ax was swung and stuck between the
stones of the castle wall. The green, seal-like creature left the author
behind, pushing more speed into his flight.
The writer-gone-berserk left his weapon and resumed his pursuit of the
stealer of stories.
The chase continued until Arby found the massive, double-doored entrance
to the edifice.
The ArbyFish threw the wooden bar that effectively locked the door over
his shoulder and opened both of the doors.
A gush of freezing wind flowed into the castle.
The man's face turned to an expression of fear as he ducked the flying
wooden locking mechanism.
Red, perspiring, but still with a determined countenance, the face of
the crazed author knotted again into a scowl. He ran to meet his opponent,
who had stopped at the park that lay in front of the castle.
Arby pulled out a battery-powered blender and set it on the ground as
~~~ Begin Poetic Interlude ~~~
The poem entitled: The ArbyFish Sat Triumphantly By his Blender.
The sky, it turned to golden hues,
The birds began to sing,
As Arby found his blending tools,
And from them a song did spring.
*WHIRRRRRRRRRRR* Arby tested the blender.
~~~ End Poetic Interlude ~~~
The noise caught the man's attention. He looked on in horror as he thought
of what the thing might do.
"NOOOOOOO," he yelled, most of his major muscle groups cramping
up from running, and the rising sun sapping his strength, "MY STORY!"
He hobbled his way nearer to the ArbyFish and his faithful companion,
the blender, but collapsed before he could reach them. He couldn't move,
but he stayed conscious to hear what the green monstrosity had to say.
"'Ya know…" the ArbyFish started out, "this is a great
story, but it lacks wun thing…" Arby took the papers from
under his flipper and placed them on top of the blender, then hopped up
to the half-dead, wholly crazed individual.
"What would that one… THING… be?" the man was breathing
hard, his voice dripping with venom.
A smile crossed Arby's face. "It needs more ARBYFISH!" Arby
asserted, then dove into the blender, snatching the lid and pushing the
story down with him as he did.
*WHIRRRRRSLOSH-SLOSH-WHIRRRRRR* The blender came to life.
The Arby and the story became a green mush in the fury of the blender's
"STOP… MY PRECIOUS… IT WILL BE RUINED!!!!!" the
man could only stare in agony as his work was destroyed.
After a few seconds, the blender stopped.
All was quiet, except for the birds.
The man dragged himself slowly up to the blender. "No… My Precious…
GONE!!! Gone forever… my Precious… gone," the author stopped
crawling when he touched the blender. He slumped to the ground, his face
falling into the grass with tortured agony.
Mina was jogging along the road and saw the scene, so she jogged up to
it. She jogged in place in front of the man and the blender. The man was
unconscious, reaching for the blender. The blender was quite awake, however,
and didn't move only because it didn't have any means of locomotion. It
would have gone up to the man and given him a great, big hug if it could
"What happened here?" asked Mina, who stopped jogging and stood
"'ELLO!" Arby said as he popped out of the blender, dripping
mush. He wiped the extra mush back into the blender and held it up to
Mina. "'Ere, drink this," he said.
"Ummm… okay…" The blond girl took the jug and chugged the
whole thing. Mina's expression wasn't one of great satisfaction.
"What you need now is a purgative," Arby said, then dove down
He popped out a few minutes later with a reconstituted story.
Arby woke and sat the man up, then handed the slightly green text to
He flipped through it, stopping at some points and squinting at them
with one eye.
"I LIKE IT!" he announced, then ran back inside the castle
to begin another one.
"Moie work 'ere is done," the ArbyFish nodded, then went off
with Mina to go find some mouthwash.
~~~ And now for something slightly the same ~~~
"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Serena screamed as she bolted upright
in bed. "*PUFF* oh, *WHEEZE* just a dream, *PROFUSE
"Serena?" her mom said as she peeked into her room. "Is
something the matter?"
"NO!… Er, um no, mother," Serena tried to stay calm. "I
was just having a hor… bad dream. I'm okay now."
"Okay…" Serena's mother smiled weakly and went back to bed.
"Yes, all just a bad dream…" She sighed and pulled the covers
up to her neck, rolling to her side as she did.
"Madammmm?" something from the blackness called. "'Scuse
me," it persisted… "Madammmm?"
…something terrible. The blackness turned a ghastly green as the horrible
thing grew closer. She couldn't see it, but she could feel it. The green
was coming closer… and closer… and closer. She tried to scream but
she had no mouth, she tried to run, but she had no legs. She felt wretched…
her thoughts were scattered to the four winds. She hadn't the ability
to do anything but… swutter? "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"
She re-awoke so violently she almost fell out of bed. 'Almost' meaning
she grabbed onto her bed sheets and clawed her way back into bed.
The sun was shining brightly as the morning tuned a warm and cheerful
It mocked her.
Serena walked at a slightly slower than normal pace to school. She had
more than enough time, leaving the house before anyone else had gotten
up. After an ordeal like that, she refused to let herself fall asleep.
The green presence threatened to tear her mind to pieces, but yet it remained.
"Let's go get some ice-cream!" one part of her mind
bubbled, "I must find the emerald tree moss!" Another
squirmed. "Oh, BANAANAAS in spriiiing tiime Reeaely hit the…"
"EEK!" she pressed her head between her hands at the temples.
"There are voices… in my head."
"Are you all right, my dear lady?" said someone above her lowered
"No… I think I'm going…" She raised her head to look at
who was speaking, then straightened up entirely. "Heh… Heh… mushroom."
she panted, poking the air nervously at the small blue and purple mushroom
that seemed rather concerned about her wellbeing. Its presence didn't
help, though. The little shroom blinked its eyes at her, shrugged, then
"Serena?" something behind her said.
"WHAT?!" She whirled around to meet the glance of a black cat
with a barely waxing (or was it waning?) moon on her forehead. It was
perched in a low hanging branch of a tree. "Who?"
"That IS your name… Serena?" The cat pursued.
"Would you by chance be 'Chandou' of the Muk-Muk clan?" a large
white seal said as it floated by.
"Do you know how to get to Poppyseed Road?" a woodchuck popped
out of the tree and questioned.
"How many licks does it take to get to the fruity snail center of
a fruity chum pop?" a previously unseen lizard pondered out loud
while clinging to the bricks of a nearby building.
"If a train goes twenty miles per hour AND THE wheels ThaT Come
OfF a BuS_RefuSE to go round, then why is the quessstion and WHAT
is THE answer?" A disheveled muskrat stood on its hind legs and waved
its arms violently in front of him, hitting himself in the forehead once
in a while to emphasize the points.
"Buy a gun on the run?" a shady guy with a trench coat said,
opening one side of it, revealing an assortment of firearms inside.
"Have some cheese, if you please?" a cute mouse-like creature
that had spectacles on said, holding up a block of Swiss cheese.
"OYE LOIKE PINEAPPLES COCONUTS AND SNAKES!?" a badger swayed
to the tune.
"Brabinzou to hingy louloo and sveral moure tuo!" WOW! Crimeny
Ricket, the flailing jumblog of warbling gimblersnoo has graced us with
A schoolgirl's mind would not, should not, and most definitely could
not take anymore.
"She's gonna BLOOOOOWW!!!" a mole with a hardhat yelled and
dove down a hole in the ground.
**SNAP** *EERRRRRK* *Thud*
Her heart still beat; she had not yet shed her mortal coil.
*Thump-thump* … *Thump-thump* 'if you return to Batterspoon'
… *Thump-thump* 'you will cry' … *Thump-thump* 'There's
a mold *Thump-thump* in your mind'…
The sound of a very loud, but far distant microwave signaled that a meal
was ready. She, however, would not know what might have become of it,
for at that moment her mind was floating in the other direction. It was
…………….. I-C-Nothing ………………
"Terrifying twitches of thought have tangled and tripped the mind
that thought it would teach the tale of a tormented youth," the voice
of a long lost poet echoed through her mind.
"Who are you?" she pensivized. Her thoughts changed to audible,
or at least the mental version of audible sound, after leaving her non-present
body, "Where are you… and where am I?"
Serena heard a flushing sound accompanied by a cat screaming. That noise
seemed to spiral around and drop down below her.
"Why are I?" the voice echoed back, sounding rather peeved,
"When are I? How am you? Will you please conjugate your verbs in
the form of a disaster?"
The sound of two old British ladies having a noisy, grating, high-pitched
conversation floated past Serena.
"WAAAAAAAHHHHH!" she cried. "All I want to do is to go
home and have fun… eat something sweet… even do my HOMEWORK if I could
get out of here… WAAAAAAAAHHH!" *Sniff* Her sniveling echoed
off the distant reaches of nothingness.
"Revamp the characterization of her forward reversal salinine outflow
if you care?" the poet respondee'd.
…began buckle mind of remnants The their to…
"What in the world is she doing?" the cat thought to itself
as Serena began to look frightened, mumble incoherently, and seemed to
be looking at objects that weren't there. "Hello… Serena?"
the black cat queried, waving a paw in front of the girl's frantic eyes.
Serena's eyes glazed over as she stared off into the distance. She fell
to the ground with a heaping thud.
"Hey, what?" the feline's eyes followed the girl as she fell.
Luna pounced upon her stomach. "Wake up, Serena," she nudged
her forcefully with a paw, trying to wake her. "What are you doing?"
She continued by jumping on her, and shaking the fallen girl's head.
"to remnants of The mind buckle… their began," the sound
of a poet shot in the dark did waft. The sound seemed to permeate the
air as it traveled.
"Leave me alone!" Serena shouted to the person unknown to her
in an unknown direction. "Why don't you make sense?"
A nose, a pair of eyes, a tongue, a hand, and a pair of ears appeared
in front of her.
"Here they'll do no good for them to be had by you," the frighteningly
energetic sad voice spread through her consciousness. "Take only
one, or two or three. Take the whole lot if you wish, but you'll see:
two will save you, and none will make you sane. Three will take you down
Cadberry Lane. Four won't help, and neither will five. Six is impossible
until you can drive."
"Um…." the mental embodiment of the girl decided, "I'll
take two of them, the eyes and the hand. Perhaps they will take me to
"The hand and the eyes are a good choice, my dear. It seems the
time to hear is near and the time to see is me…?" the poet paused,
as if gathering strength. "TANG WALAWALA!" the poet said.
A sign flashed in front of her. The sign was a circle with four semi-ovals
tangent to one another inside the circle on the top, left, bottom, and
right. The ovals formed a square-like shape in the middle, with sides
that curved in and stopped as they reached the edge of the circle. The
left semi-oval lit up red with a symbol. The symbol was a circle with
two arcs coming out of it at the top. "Tang," it seemed to say.
The bottom symbol lit up blue with an infinity symbol that screamed internally
"WALAWALA," The sign rolled itself up and disappeared.
The blackness melted into odd shades of pure primary colors. Hot, cold,
and lukewarm flashes passed though her body. She felt furry things run
by her ankles and slimy things crawl between her toes.
"UAAAAAH!" Serena yelped, "EEEEWWWW!" the sensory
explosion heightened her fear. She felt her mind drift into frantic madness.
"STOPIT STOPIT STOPIT STOPIT! AAAAAAHHHH" She closed her eyes
and flailed around trying to shake off the things that were crawling all
Molly walked by the unconscious Serena and the cat that was on top of
her. She stopped, thought about it, walked backwards, then ran up to her.
"Serena, what's goin' on?" She stood above her collapsed colleague.
"Why are you just lying there?" Serena began to twitch, one
eye closed, and the other one shot a glance around then rolled back. "Somebody
call a doctor!" Molly yelled at the other people walking by.
It stopped as suddenly as it started.
A new picture began to form. A different feeling enveloped her. Usagi
felt absolutely nothing. Before, she was aware of the presence of her
thoughts that enveloped her, but now there was NOTHING.
A single point of light, infinitely far away, and infinitely bright dotted
itself in her line of vision. She could see it perfectly, though it was
far away. It was an infinitely small sphere that hung there like a thumbtack
in space. She felt its presence.
A second sphere appeared next to it, then a third, and a fourth. They
were all placed with an indescribably small amount of space between them.
The space between them was infinitely small, but she could see it. She
could feel them as they appeared, like the pricks of tiny pins.
The entire place exploded with an infinite number of these spheres. They
came in from the infinite distance and enveloped her, and her entire view
of non-existence. The spheres went to the other end of her 360-degree
view of everything. The closest spheres were right next to her, even inside
of where her body was usually kept. She felt them all; the infinite needle-like
jabs of the balls of light coming into existence.
A bright red carped appeared in front of her. In an instant, it rolled
itself out past the un-ending spheres. It turned perfectly flat; a two-dimensional
object. Usagi saw and felt it hit the edge of the boundless psychoverse.
The first madness was better, it was just annoying, but this one shattered
her essence of being.
She couldn't feel awe. She couldn't feel joy. There was nothing except
what she saw and the spiritual incarnation of physical sensations. Her
mind was present, but there was no thought.
The circular sign appeared again. It would have had a calming effect
on her, if she weren’t in her present state. It wobbled like a banner,
an old friend that somehow linked her to some measure of sane insanity.
The pictures of unending and unbeginning continued to unravel all around
She stared at the sign, trying to regain herself, not thinking about
it, but doing it as a sort of reflex to save herself. She looked at the
exact center of it. A small turquoise circle flared, then several larger
concentric circles seemed to be ignited by it, flowing outward from the
first. It reached its largest circle and spread straight lines out from
itself, each line going at 45-degree angles from every other line. It
reached the end of it's tendrils and flashed blindingly bright, seeming
to say "BANG!" as it did. Ears appeared and attached themselves
to her unembodied lot of senses.
The circle faded again.
Suddenly all of the spheres exploded in a flash that would have immediately
baked her retinas if it were seen by her normal eyes.
She then heard it. Every explosion that ever was or will be, the screams
of dying stars, the creation of the universe, the cherry bomb that someone
flushed down the school's sewage system. They all occurred at once and
just stayed there, hanging on to the loudest part of themselves. It would
have normally torn her eardrums out and that would be the end of it, but
the ears sent her mind the crystal clear sound of the entire thing. It
shook her mind to bits.
Her brain's defense mechanisms tried to shut it all off, but to no avail.
The floodgate of her mind had been opened and could not be shut. She could
no longer close her eyes.
Something floated across her vision. The something from a long time ago,
something familiar. It waved to her and snapped flat. She couldn't think,
it was simply blamed for the destruction of her. She couldn't help but
stare at it.
"Yes?" The doctor said, "What seems to be the problem?"
Molly pointed to the pile of unresponsive female on the ground. "Oh,"
he continued, "I knew that." He waved off Molly's gesture. He
probed, prodded, and pinched the girl to come to the conclusion: "This
is going to be very expens— er.. extensive…" He rubbed his
chin. "HMMMMmmm, yyeesss."
"Can you help her?" Molly motioned with both hands to the immobile
victim of an unknown disease.
"Yes," he took her by both arms, "Help me carry her into
the van. We'll take her to the… HOTSPRITAL…" He cleared his throat,
took out a mallet, and clocked himself over the head with it, "Ur,
YEAH… h-hospital, hehehe…"
Serena fired off a volley of insane ramblings in a pirate accent as they
picked her up and drove her off in the white van.
The soul-piercing loudness raged around her.
The top and right semi-ovals of the banner were, as of yet, blank.
Her torn being shifted its focus to the right-hand division. Three green
streaks sprouted down into a single point, as if three blades of grass
were growing backwards into it. The symbol flashed a sickening green when
the three streaks met with a 'Bing.' A nose appeared in her sphere of
existence. This time the sign didn't vanish.
She began to smell the total destruction of matter. Not just the smell,
but she also inhaled the essence of it. She began to breath in all that
was around her, every bit of anything. She took it into herself and it
became a part of the nothingness that she felt.
The two dimensional symbol-carpet loomed in front of her, flowing in
the wind of destruction. It beckoned to her, steering her presence to
the top section of the mat, as if taunting her, or laughing at the fact
that it wasn't the first one she chose.
"YES!" The doctor yelled from the white van, "I HAVE DONE
Molly's head pricked up. "What? She's all better?" Molly hoped.
"NO!" The doctor replied, "I have made this!" He
held up a piece of Serena's hair, to which he had tied various medical
"Stop it, Doc! Molly pleaded, "Do something to help her!"
"All right," the doctor responded, throwing the creation over
A mentality stared out of a hole towards it. It gained strength through
its torment. The torment gained strength through the mentality. It reached
for it. It found it and….
There was a dim purple light ignited on the rug. It was a single period
of a sine wave with a slash through it. It was the last tilde of sensory
The essence was presented with a 'Ting' tongue… and changed…
"AAAAaaAAAAaa AAAAaa AAAAaa AAAAaa AAAAaa AAAAaa AAAAAA aAaAaAaAaah
HHHHhh HHHHhh HHHHhhhh… NOOOOOO… Ooooooo… ahhhh… hhhh!" the
scream of a tortured essence that coagulated into mentality, that was
implanted into a being of emptiness, filling itself with an flaming consciousness,
that ignited a burning mind, which belonged to a person who was driven
mad by the sheer overload of the nothing that encompasses everything exploded
tearing the roof off of the place inside, but beyond its mind.
It stopped… everything stopped… she returned to the place of blackness.
She again felt her thoughts envelop her, and like a warm blanket, it soothed
her. She had feeling again. She was not the same, though. Serena… Usagi…
the girl who was… wasn't. Only she and the rug remained. It folded around
her in the pitch black. Her senses were there, but they were now suppressed
by the same force that had infused them.
"You return to what you won't become until that time…." The
"Yes…" the changed person said. "…I know now… Batterspoon."
She then began to laugh somewhat maniacally, but not violently so.
"Call back you now and not her then," the poet made sense only
to the changed one. "We go see what was and is that could be if not
you go be."
Serena was awake now, but still incoherent. The doctor was taking notes
on her ramblings.
"I go much good now can let out me, no?" the girl's mouth worked
as she stared off into the distance.
"Ah, yes, I see." The doctor didn't. "Now, how does this
make you feel?"
"I feel much well now, need to leave, go find," she continued.
"Well… I think she's just fine to leave now," Doc Kalipso
said to Molly, and patted Serena on the back.
"Wait a minute." Doc Reekin grabbed Doc Kalipso by the shoulder,
stopping him. "I think that we forgot something."
"Oh, yes!" Doc Kalipso remembered. He gave her a toothbrush
and a little case of dental floss. "Now remember… what did you
say your name was?"
"Molly," she stated simply.
"Ah, yes, Naru," the doctor twisted. "Remember: the lights
are on, the heater's running, the water's going, and she's home… but
she just isn't answering the door." He quickly ushered them both
out the asylo-spittle.
A forest faded in before her. Serena looked up to the slightly off blue
sky. She heard the leaves rustle as the air blew through the trees. She
felt the wind glide over her face. Serena held the moment in as long as
she could, breathing deeply and slowly.
"Hehehe…" she bubbled suddenly, "LALALALALA!"
She was wearing her normal blue skirt and white shirt, but something
wasn't quite right. She didn't know it, but there was a bright green streak
through the left side of her hair.
She felt two presences around her, so she opened her eyes. There were
two fuzzy silhouettes. Serena blinked a couple of times as her eyes came
"Miss?" one of the figures said.
"Madam?" the other one warbled. They both came closer until
they looked down on her. They were standing on her.
"Oye don't think nobody's home." The warbling one waved his
flipper in front of the semi-unknown thing.
"'Scuse me," the girl grabbed the flying flipper between two
fingers, "Why do people have to keep doing that to me?"
"Oye 'ave no idea," the other one waved its flipper in front
of her face in the same manner. Serena grabbed that one with two fingers
from the other hand. She looked around at the scenery. Something still
wasn't quite right. Either it was the two grey seal-like figures that
were talking to her or it was…
"Ahoy, may'ees!" a green ArbyFish called from a ship that was
floating in the middle of the forest. It adjusted a sail as it came to
a stop in front of them. He dropped anchor and climbed out of the boat.
"What 'ave we 'ere?" he said in a high pirate ArbyFish accent,
hopping nearer to the group.
"Cap'in?" both of the grey seals snapped to attention and saluted
in the traditional manner; slapping their flippers to their foreheads.
"We've got a castaway!"
"'Ave we now?" the green seal hopped toward her.
"Who are you people?" Serena sat up.
"Oh, dear, she's possessed!" Willywug yelled and jumped back.
Habberjug jumped too. FlanBurger was not so easily startled, though.
"Wait a minute," FlanBurger tried to reason with his comrades.
He went up and prodded her with his flipper. He looked behind at them.
"She's possessed by 'erself!"
"That's the worst koind!" Habberjug and Willywug gasped.
"QUICK! WE MUST DESTROY 'ER!" Habberjug took out a large match
and struck it against his flipper. He held the match up between his flippers
and walked towards her. The grey walrus-seal-like creature tried to ignite
a particularly non-flammable portion of her shoe.
"Just a minute," the ArbyFish pushed the match away from the
victim. "We need 'er aloive."
"Oh, poo." Habberjug took the match to a nearby tree. A small
area of bark caught on fire.
"So ya from reali'ee, moie dear?" FlanBurger-The-Halfth asked,
flying up to sit on her shoulder.
"No, I just came from Oblivionistic Infinity," she responded
as she perched him on her finger and set him back down on the ground.
"Oh," he went on, "Noice place ta live, wouldn't want
to visit, though."
"Yes, well…" She stopped and looked up.
"Oye hear that Dark 'n Deranged Fantasy is rather noice this toime
of year," FlanBurger said as he adjusted his pirate hat, "you
could probably take Babbling Brain Road to the Inane Oratories, past the
Voluntary Vacuousness ward, and take the Sixth Barbiturate Train to Crazy
Coo-coo County and then 'itch a lift with a Nut-Box to finally end up
on the upper end of Loonie street." He paused just long enough to
interrupt Serena as she tried to speak. "Go past the Drowsy Dodo
Emporium and walk ten blurbs to the Underground Overbite and get on the
first cabbage wagon going southernly north in the eastbound lane and you'll
finally reach the rural insanity of Dark 'n Deranged Fantasy."
The tree that had been ignited spread fire to another tree, which went
"Doesn't sound too terribly fun to me," Serena said, then looked
at a slow and sad looking object moving across the ground.
"Oh, moie bladder and doigestive tract," a seemingly familiar
blubbery, fuzzy, white seal muttered apathetically as it slowly hopped
by. "Oyme late, Oyme late, Oyme late." He hopped on while everyone
"Um… which paragraph are we on?" Habberjug took out a few
sheets of paper and looked through them.
"Hey!" exclaimed Willywug as he looked at one of the pieces,
"We don't come in till much lay'er!" They looked at each
other and then dove into the ground.
The white seal was surprisingly far off in the distance for the speed
he was going.
"Wait!" Serena called after him, "MISTER SEEEAAAALL!"
She started running in his direction.
"Foine," FlanBurger said and pulled up his anchor, "It'll
do you no good, though." He raised his sail and sailed off through
the trees in the opposite direction.
"Teacher-lady…? Umhumn…" Serena mumbled loudly and drunkenly.
"Yes, Serena?" Miss Haruna turned around and walked over to
the mind exhausted young child, "You don't look so good."
"Suredon'tlady… havinablasthough hmmnhmm," the blond girl
"How many fingers am I holding up?" She held up three.
"Dependsif yourreferringto thephyisical manesfestationof yourconsciousness
oryourmental embodimentof yourphysicalpresence… hehe!" Serena slurred
her words together, but spoke them fairly fast.
"She's been like this ever since she got back from the hospital
this morning, Miss Haruna," Molly finally spoke up.
"Darn-straightly…" Serena replied to no one in particular.
"Why isn't she home if she needed to go to the hospital?" The
smartly dressed teacher lifted an arm waist high, to emphasize whom they
were speaking of.
"The doctors said she was fine," Molly shrugged.
"Yeahbaby," the mostly incoherent one intoned weakly.
"Well, then," Haruna walked back to the front of class, "We
don't need to worry about it, then." It didn't really matter at that
point, because the bell rang.
Serena had been running for quite some time now. The scenery gradually
changed and she found herself in an arctic wasteland. The seal was a shadowy
white spot on the snow ahead of her. It hadn't changed its sluggish pace,
but stayed ahead of her somehow.
"Mr… Uh, whoo…." she panted as she ran, "MR. SEAL!"
It paid her no heed.
She seemed to be gaining on the blubber-laden animal and she was about
to go for a grab when it looked at its pink, fuzzy digital watch on its
right flipper and dove down a hole in the ice.
"Hey, mister seal?!" the girl with the odd green streak in
her hair called into the breathing hole. She jumped down the hole without
another moment of hesitation.
She floated downward through the hole. Serena half-expected to get wet,
and that half was surprised that she remained dry. The other half
protested the first half’s unpreparedness and told it so. The first half
replied that the second half could go stick itself it a bucket of mud,
and so it did.
The breathing hole went straight down into a large tunnel lined with
bowling pins and decorative mold. There was an occasional bookshelf, but
upon closer examination Serena found that all the books had their pages
"Commoner, commoner, and more hackneyed," she commented as
a chair flew by, singing. "I shall have to write my cat about this
place when I return," she pondered that last statement as a picture
of a stately cat and a well-dressed mouse drifted in front of her. "That
is, if I even have a cat back home."
A teapot and a measuring cup bobbed by, fencing with a knife and fork,
"Three-four, three-four, and have some more, my clangerswipe will
snuff you out," the butterknife that the teapot was fencing with
tried to intimidate a nearby candlestick.
Serena's gaze followed them as she floated beneath them.
"Oh yes, I see, and so does he, but you are very stout," the
"'Stout' you cry? 'HA' says I! Bye the buy the by…" they
went on as the sound drifted away above her.
"Donde esta la aspiradora?" a round, well-finished table uttered.
"Soy la aspiradora!" a vacuum cleaner spoke deeply to the table.
Serena glanced down and saw something below her, something coming quite
fast… Oh yes, very, very fast, and very brown and very flat looking,
and very… *THUD* …hard.
"Oww," she said weakly as she hit the bottom of the abyss,
She saw a bale of hay about five feet to the left of her. "Uhhhhhn,"
the girl said to it, but the bale of hay refused to respond, "Why…
Why…. WHY?" she asked it, but it still didn't twitch an inch.
The blue-skirted girl rolled over and looked for something to throw at
it. She found a flattened round rock, picked it up, and found her right
arm rebelling against her because of the unfair taxes she had imposed
"You'll never win, you know," she scowled at it.
It knew that, but it felt that it had to try. Her left arm felt that
her right arm was treating her unfairly and swung itself to the other
side of her and began arguing with it. The left hand tried to rally the
support of her right nostril, but it was already involved with declaring
war on her left cheekbone.
Serena stared on in surprise as the hands finally came to an agreement,
shook each other, and went their separate ways. The slightly confused
girl's arms suddenly stopped as they found that they were connected to
a third party.
"Hey now," Serena said as control was regained, "There
will be no dissention among the ranks!"
Her left foot tried to bicker with her right knee, but it stopped when
Serena gave it a quick, violent glance. The girl stood up, staggered over
to the bale of hay, and kicked it.
"Ouch," it murmured apathetically.
"Serves you right," Serena snapped, her hands on her hips as
she glared down at it.
"Serena?" Molly questioned the young girl holding a bucket
of dirt, "What are you doin'?"
"Stickin'myheadinabucketofmud," she muttered, turning on the
"But… why?" Molly went on in her New-Yorker type accent.
"'CauseI toldmeto." Serena stuck the hose in the bucket. The
dirt began to get very soggy. "Wantsome?" She turned off the
water, took a fistful of mud and offered it to Molly.
"Ewwww… gross," Molly drew back, disgusted.
"'Kay," she said nonchalantly, and put the bucket over her
The mud dripped slowly all over her.
"Oh, my bloated gut and dirty pants," the white seal popped
out of the bale of hay, looked at the clock on the wall, and started off.
"Oye'm more than loikely going to be early," it said downtroddenly,
and slowly waddled off around a corner.
"Wait!" Serena cried after it. "Mister Seal?" She
As the agile girl rounded the bend, she found that the seal had buggered
off. Around the corner was a semicircular room. Down the left side it
was perfectly straight and down the right side it curved around in an
arc. The sides were lined with rotating doors that as of right then weren't
She walked up to one and spun into it, hitting a black wall. The girl
with the face that now hurt more than normal spun back out. Upon closer
examination, she found that all the rotating doors led to a rather uncomfortable
end a few inches behind them.
Serena walked to the end of the hall. All she found was a floating, two-legged
table made of solid Styrofoam. It had a cookie and a tiny box with a covered
button on it. The cover wouldn't come off, for its release latch was incredibly
small. She put it down and picked up the little cookie with frosting on
it. In block letters, the frosting said 'BITE ME'.
One part of her brain thought it would be a lovely thing to do to the
second part, and so it did.
"More obvious and more hackneyed," she said to it.
"Yea, well you try being a cookie and see how far you get in life,"
it replied defiantly. "Everyone just stares at me and says 'oh, that
looks delightful' and then go off because they're on some sort of diet
plan, so I say to them—"
She bit it.
"Oh dear! It feels as though my clothes are puffing up like marshmallows."
Serena said, looking down at herself. Her clothes were, in fact, puffing
up like marshmallows and she began floating to the ceiling.
*Umph* She hit the ceiling.
The ceiling didn't like that very much, but it kept quiet.
"Oh, great, now what do I do," she said and looked around.
Serena found a little toy figurine that was stuck to the roof with chewing
gum. "Hmmm, that's strange," she commented on the doll's appearance.
It was wearing a blue business suit and carrying a briefcase.
It also had a tag attached to it that read 'SUE ME'.
"Serena," Molly said to the filthy girl, "SERENA?! "
The blond-haired girl took a nearby live chicken and began to wash herself
with it. (Fully clothed, of course)
"BRuk buck… B'CKAAAAK?!" the rather confused chicken
"Cluckysoapbar." She sniffed the chicken. "Ahhh summertimeafternoon."
She continued to rub the chicken against her cheek.
"Stop it!" Molly grabbed the chicken from her. "Why aren't
you making any sense?"
The blond girl stared at her for a second, then squinted one eye, "Perfectsense
I'mmaking!" She began growling and suddenly started to gnaw on her
AUTOTOMY— The act of chewing off one's own limb to escape from
She stopped and looked up at Molly with a mischievous grin. Serena proceeded
to pull a nickel, quarter, and dime from behind her rather surprised peer's
She took Molly's wrist and turned her palm up. Serena then placed them
in Molly's outstretched hand, and closed it into a fist. The green-streaked-blonde
girl patted it, then skipped off while laughing maniacally to herself.
After many minutes of heated debate and unreliable testimony, the toy
lawyer settled to give her a deck of cards and a bowling trophy for damages
and emotional distress. The court adjourned and the toy lawyer left.
"Well, I'm glad that's over," Serena commented on her current
position. "Though it would have been better if I could be down on
the ground rather than up here."
The deck of cards and the bowling trophy had been stuck in her pocket
and were already starting to scrape against her clothes.
"Wait a second," she said and looked at her current apparel.
"Do I have pockets?" She found that she did, indeed, have them.
She pulled the trophy out, tearing a small hole in her dress as she did.
A hissing sound emanated from the hole and she started to deflate. The
hissing sound became louder, but she still floated at the top of the room.
The semi-inflated girl struggled in the air, trying to get herself down.
When her clothes had deflated entirely, she still hovered there. She
looked around, rather disappointed.
*CRINKLE* *SMASH* *THUD* *OOMPH* *Tlinker_tlinker_tlinker*
After just a long enough pause as to get her to relax, she fell from
the air in precisely the way that bricks do, crashing down upon the Styrofoam
table, breaking it into little bits. Terrible waste of a good magically
floating object, she thought, but it did break her fall nicely.
Serena lay there on her side for a moment, and then flopped down on her
back. She found these falls very interesting, but very enervating.
She decided to stare at the ceiling for a while. On the ceiling was a
pattern. The girl looked off behind the roof and from the pattern emerged
a picture. It said in bold angry letters "What you lookin' at?"
Serena stood up and refocused her eyes. As she did so, she found that
the Styrofoam had turned to popcorn. She picked up a piece and looked
at it. It was a perfectly normal popped kernel of corn, drenched in butter
and salted to perfection. The floor wasn't dirty at all, and the 45-second
rule was still in play (According to the timetable of floor dirtiness
"MMMMMmm," she said and plopped it into her mouth. The teenage
girl gone fantifitistic found that it irradiated the tastebuds of her
tongue with a slightly sweet and salty sensation. She picked up another
piece, ate it. Same effect, no weird animals flying across her view. She
waved her hand in front of her face. Nope, no weird trailing effect or
discoloration. The hungry girl soon gathered up all the pieces, sat down
Indian style and started eating them.
The lights went off and the wall in front of her began to glow. She looked
"Ladies and gentlemen," the wall said. She thought it a rather
odd thing for the wall to be saying, but she was beginning to desensitize
with all the strangeness going on.
"Boys and girls," it went on, "Children of all ages, welcome
to the wonderful world of—"
"AH!" She snapped and dropped her popcorn, starting to run
through the dark. There was a new evil to run from, the terrifying word
that begins with a "dih" and ends in a "z'nee".
She glanced behind her. There were all sorts of fuzzy animals with huge
eyes and a 'P-I-N-K' temperament running toward her. She ran with more
dedication to evade the vermin. They were making cute little chirping,
meowing, and humming noises. The noises were becoming very loud as she
ran. The girl, becoming slowly enervated, looked behind her to see that
the bunnies, baby deer, skunks, birds, kittens, puppies, and all other
manner of insanely cute things were almost within hugging reach. Out of
the corner of her eye she saw an open door. She darted through, closing
it behind her.
The day had drolled on and Serena finally, with the help of Molly, went
Serena opened the door and collapsed to the ground. "HomemomIam,"
"Serena?" she walked in from another room. "Where have
"Um," Molly crept in the door to speak for the girl on the
"She's late 'cause she hasn't been feeling well lately."
"Well," The floor-pizza's mom said, "if she was sick,
then why didn't she come home sooner?"
"She was, um," Molly staggered, trying to find a way to put
"Stickin'my headina bucketa’mud," Serena completed, speaking
to the rug.
"Er," Molly went on, "yeah."
It was pitch black on the other side of the door and Serena could hear
the cute things trying to claw their way through the door.
"Go away," Serena said to the door in an annoyed tone, "we
don't want any."
She searched for a light switch and found none. She instead found a drawstring
hanging from the ceiling. The light clicked on as she pulled it, revealing
the puffy white seal that the light was inside of. The "Mr. C-L"
"Do you mind," the fluffy fur-fish said, as though he had been
traumatized by a lampshade when he was a small calf. He clicked the light
back off with a drawstring on the opposite side of the room.
Serena pulled the string again. The seal didn't light up. He was, in
fact, nowhere to be found. Instead a florescent light flickered to a steady
glow above her head. The room turned out to be a janitor's closet / library.
There was an assortment of books, most of them a frightening shade of
mauve. The only thing that caught Serena's interest was an elongated,
hexagonal fold-in pamphlet.
She picked it up and folded the left edge into the middle.
Serena looked at it and read:
"'CDC nT TUC DD CTCU TdnTniTniTni (. c/Unni \./C LicC nnliiTTDiC
TC /UniT (.) Cc…"
The letters didn't quite match up right and were too dark for the paper
that they were written on.
She folded a corner to the middle.
The letters flared a very disturbing green as she read:
"'Ere at the R.B. Fish Training school, we use multiple techniques
to show you the way to get on track.
Whether you need to get the train to roll over Arby, or simply get him
caught up in the spokes, we'll show you the latest and most efficient
Cloning to catch 'em off guard, Ogling to goggle 'em into the spittoon,
Orange lemonade anyone? Looking at him and blankly nodding,
All these and more for just one ________ simple payments of two and a
half _______ dollars."
She felt as though she had skipped line so she tried to go back and re-read
it, but the letters had flared off of the paper.
"Two and a half dollars," Serena mused, "sounds reasonable
for whatever they're trying to do."
Serena folded the paper in fourths and put it in her pocket. She took
a moment to look around and noticed tags on all the various items in the
room. One tag on a book said 'read me' another by a picture said 'look
at me'. A teddy bear suddenly jumped at her and said 'hug me'. Serena
jumped and made an attempt to break its neck, but it had no spine, so
this was futile. She dropped it.
"Must… get… out…" Serena said, looking for an alternate
route of escape. She came upon an invisible door handle in the middle
of the room.
"AHA!" she said and turned the door handle, "Vuunderlaannt!"
The door opened to a 'bustling' train station.
"Oh, goodie!" The girl bubbled through the door.
Another bright and beautiful day twittered its way in from the early
twilight sky. The giggling gnapping girl gave a grave grunt to the tawdriness
of the thorny today-ness of it all.
"WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME????!!" Serena yelled at the ceiling.
"…" the ceiling replied rather rudely.
"Sorry for asking, you self-ignored, good-for-something, rather
ridiculous rutabaga." The gooey going girl relaxed suddenly in bed,
She rested and regained her early-morning motivation.
"Well, how's it over there wall?" she tried to start a new
conversation with the vertical outcropping of building material.
The wall was about to go on with its philosophy on how to make peace
with the world. It would have shared its knowledge of how with a simple
phrase, the whole world would become united towards a common goal, with
peace, love, harmony and such, but Serena's mom walked in at that moment,
silencing forever all hope for humanity's progression.
"Are you feeling better, dear?" her mom asked, sitting down
next to her on the bed.
"I was about to have a talk with the bookcase until you sat between
us," Serena said, hinting that her mom should move.
"Oh, well… That's nice," her mom said and left.
"Wait!" Serena called after her, "I have something for
"Yes?" her mom came back and stood in the doorway.
Serena was by the windowsill looking out beyond the glass. She stood
there as if concentrating on something far in the distance, something
that would give the situation new meaning.
She then promptly tore the windowframe out of the wall.
"HERE," the blonde girl with the green streak in her hair gave
the window to her mother, "I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE, JUST TAKE IT
Serena leapt out of were the window had formerly been and began running
down the street, babbling incoherently about how the laundry had eaten
all her ice cream and ran off with her llama, whom she had been betrothed
to, and were going to have a wonderful life until she had become very
bloated and fat, at which time the llama had found the clothes drier.
"Oh, thanks…" Her mom stood there in a daze as one of her
eyes began twitching.
The window had absolutely nothing to say at this point, so her mother
sat it down by the bed, brushed herself off, and walked off to have breakfast.
At this point the other Senshi were beginning to get a bit worried. Serena
had a few classes with some of the Senshi, and they had noticed her behavior.
Then she hadn't come to school yesterday, and was nowhere to be found.
Luna and Artemis decided to call an emergency meeting at Rei's temple.
Walking to the meeting, Mina had found her near the window in a furniture
store, staring at the lampshades in disgust.
"I would like to call this meeting to order," Luna said and
all the Senshi sat down. Except for Serena, that is, who was having a
quite enjoyable time talking to a fishbowl that she had made Mina buy
her as they passed by a local pet shop on the way over.
Serena clung to it as though it was her only true love, and stated that
if they parted, it would find another and leave her alone and destitute,
to never again find joy or happiness.
After about a half an hour or so, Mina figured that it was worth it,
rather than waiting for nightfall and using butter to get it back.
"Would you now?" Serena looked up from her beloved bowl
of beautifulness. "Not if I call it to order first."
"Too late, I already did," Luna stated.
"Did not!" Serena rebutted.
"Did too!" Luna shouted back.
"Did not!" Serena went on.
"Did too!" Luna turned it back.
"Did so!" Serena coerced.
"Did not!" Luna slipped.
"Gotcha." Serena stared at the cat intensely.
"Errr, Serena, what are you doing?" the black cat said as the
blonde girl's forehead started to glow. A kitty 'mind-meld' beam shot
out of Serena's head and burrowed itself into Luna's brain.
"Stop it…" Luna began to feel quite lightheaded.
All of Serena's thoughts were locked in a terrible transference into
the small feline's mind. Luna looked very frightened and began flailing
at the air, trying to shake off the link.
It was to no avail. All of the experiences that Serena had in the past
few days were draining into the crazily clawing cat.
The other Senshi looked on with dumbfound stares, unable to imagine what
ghastly thing was taking place.
The green streak in Serena's hair started to disappear. It began to reappear,
starting at the center of Luna's head and moving down the middle of her
"Mroouwwwwwwwww!" the cat yelled, starting to shake intensely.
*Sproing* *Stick* Luna leaped up towards the ceiling, digging
her claws in to the roofing material.
The door closed behind Serena and disappeared, leaving only the underground
train station. There were a few trains on the rails in front of her. They
were very dusty, but looked like they were in prime running condition.
It was deafeningly quiet. The only thing to be heard was the harrumphing
of an odd old ArbyFish that was sitting at her ankles. It sat proudly
on the end of its tail.
"Humph-humf," the ArbyFish looked up and smacked its gums,
"and where might you be goin', miss?" The ArbyFish was wearing
a conductor's hat and wielded a clipboard in its left flipper. "Ey?"
he had a beard that went halfway down his torso and fluffed when he spoke.
"I think I'd like to take a train back home now," she replied.
The ArbyFish harrumphed and smacked his gums once more, then looked down
at his clipboard.
"Oye don'ts thinks that there's gonna' be any trains arroiving or
departin' ti'day," the ArbyFish looked back up from its clipboard
at her, "though yew's could wayt aroun' for awoile… I'm sure there'll
be one comin' round in…" he flipped through the papers on his clipboard.
Serena looked over and saw that all the pages were blank.
"Actually… there's never gonna be any comin' through 'ere,"
the ArbyFish said, then shrugged, which was a rather difficult thing for
it to do because it didn't have shoulders.
"Hey, don't I know you?" Serena noticed one side of his beard
was coming off, revealing the Velcro backing.
"NO, er… um, no," Cheesedough checked his beard, finding
it slightly off, he fixed it, "Oyme Cheesedough, the insurmountable,
and who moight you be?" The green seal turned the question back to
the girl, trying to divert attention from himself.
"I think you know very well who I am," Serena took control
of the conversation, "HABBERJUG!" She poked him in the stomach
with one of her fingers. Her finger started to glow with a mean green
aura. She looked at it closer, pointing her hand upwards to get a better
view, unaware that she had uttered a power incantation. She had meant
to say 'FlanBurger', but 'Habberjug' came out instead.
The aura formed a thin cylinder and sped off of Serena's finger, burning
a hole through a catwalk support above her.
The catwalk tilted vertically, spilling an odd-looking grey blur onto
the odd looking green thing.
*UMPH* Habberjug looked up. "You rang?"
*UMPH* Willywug, who had clung to the safety rail, followed. "I
believe she did," he said from his facedown prone position.
"Yew confuzed me wit 'EM?" FlanBurger's beard had fallen off
in the commotion. He looked at Habberjug and Willywug who were setting
up for an acrobatic maneuver.
"Hup… hey!" Habberjug shouted and threw Willywug up into
the air. Willywug landed on Habberjug's head and balanced there.
Habberjug and Willywug looked basically the same, having large rounded
heads that went to short, thick necks. They had thin, wide bodies, and
two bottom flippers attached with a small flap between them. Their bottom
flippers were usually hidden behind them as they sat and hopped around.
Their eyes were set forward, looking across their large round noses that
had whiskers sticking out of them. They both had green promotional scarves
wrapped around them, which normally would have the logo of a prominent
company on it. Right now, however, they were blank because the companies
refused to pay for advertisement out in the middle of nowhere. Habberjug
and Willywug were grey, but were not ArbyFish.
FlanBurger looked entirely different. He was green, white, and black-checkered
on his back, and white on his underbelly. His head was a part of his torso,
having no neck, and was usually bent to look forward when standing up.
His body slimmed as it went to his tail. FlanBurger, Habberjug, and Willywug
were all about eight inches tall.
"Spiders, spicket, sphere, spear, sear…" a mental projection
of a Grey Arbyfish floated out of a concrete pillar in front of FlanBurger,
Habberjug, Serena, and, Willywug, "Sack, waterfa…"
The Grey Arbyfish landed and looked at the book, then up at the group,
then back at his book.
There was a short pause in which no one said anything.
The Grey Arbyfish hopped over to the group, held the book open to them,
and pointed at the last word he had said in the book.
".Read this" The Grey Arbyfish hopped closer.
Serena looked at the page and noted that all the words were written in
Z-to-A alphabetical order. He was pointing to the first word on the top-left
of the right-hand page.
"Waterfall," Serena said simply to the slick Grey ArbyFish.
"?And this" He pointed to the word on the bottom-right of the
"Sear," Serena read aloud.
",I is That thought what" he said, tore the book in half, and
floated off through a concrete pillar opposite the one he came in.
"Oh," Habberjug said, picking up one of the halves of the book
and turning it upside-down, "this's in reformed Grey ArbyFish."
"Oh…" Willywug picked up the other half of the book. "Don't
see why they switched, most of the publishing gets mucked up and you can't
understand any of it anymore."
Another short pause ensued for Serena. Habberjug and Willywug set up
to do another acrobatic maneuver. FlanBurger looked at Serena.
"Papers?" FlanBurger asked Serena, holding out a flipper as
if he expected something to be placed in it.
"What?" Serena turned to face him.
"Papers," he said again, "yew can't very well go 'round
sayin' the world's 'exagonal if yew don't got no papers to ride the train
to Cleveland, now can ya?”
"Ur, um…" Serena looked at the papers on the clipboard, then
pointed off into the distance. "What in the world could that be?"
FlanBurger looked behind him while Serena snatched one of the blank pieces
of paper from him.
At that moment a beautifully colored purple, blue, and violet bird flew
down from the ceiling, mandled Habberjug off of Willywug's shoulders,
and flew towards its nest to feed its young. Habberjug freed himself from
the bird's fingers and did a back flip onto the bird's head, where he
began to beat it over the head. He fell off in the attempt and began to
plummet towards the ground, but was saved by Willywug, who leapt up and
grabbed him, midair. They did a few somersaults and landed, Habberjug
coming to rest on Willywug's shoulders once more.
"TaDAAA," they both said in unison.
"Oh," FlanBurger nodded and turned back, "that would be
a Mandling Worblefatch." He smiled, blinked, and nodded his head
once more. "Quoite common round 'ere, ya know."
Serena hadn't noticed these events because she was attempting to forge
a passport on the piece of paper she had swindled.
"What? Oh," Serena handed him the half complete passport, "papers…
here ya go."
FlanBurger looked at the 'passport.' It included her name, mental address,
temporal telephone number, and a badly drawn stick figure portrait of
"Roight," FlanBurger adjusted his beard and read the 'passport'
"So you'z from reali’ee, moie dear…"
"Yeah, and I'd like to get back as soon as possible," she pleaded.
"Well, Oyme sorry, miss, but there'll… EY! WAIT!" FlanBurger
hopped after Serena as she made a run for one of the trains.
"Ey, she can't do that!" Habberjug hopped after her too.
"Oye think she already has," Willywug replied, following Habberjug.
"Serena, what have you done?!" Raye screamed in confusion,
her eyes darting between the up-side down cat that stuck herself to the
ceiling and the girl who had made her do so.
Serena was hopping around the room, holding a fist-full of crayons and
gathering Raye's comic books/manga/whatever.
"Gav’ergreen," the simple-headed silly soldier said and slipped
into a seat, then started to slather the sheets of paper with color.
"But…" the raven haired girl started. "WHY?!?"
"Likedherbetter," Serena picked up a yellow crayon and started
scribbling from the top of the page and worked her way down to the bottom.
"And…" Raye gabbed the comic book from Serena. "WHAT
ARE YOU DOING WITH THESE?!?!?!?!?" She waved them at her in frustration.
"Making lunch," Serena took a piece of paper that she had colored,
crumpled it up, and began to chew on it, "MMMMMMmm… pretty!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" Raye lunged for Serena's throat,
the other Senshi holding her back as she tried to claw her way to Serena.
Serena looked up at her, then looked down and continued coloring a page
from another comic book, totally unfazed by the shouting and assassination
Habberjug and Willywug continued their pursuit,
Of FlanBurger and lady-friend who took the faster boot,
They jumped and skipped and flew away,
To find themselves amidst the fray,
"What now do you say we should do?"
"Oh, no, my brain! I 'ave no clue."
"Stop this flob, You will 'ave no job; She's going to the train."
The one in front, Who ran at first,
Had mopped the runt, Who ran the worst.
Then suddenly The persuit'ee
Had stopped dead in her tracks.
She stopped and looked not left nor right,
But found a worthy sight,
To gain her attention then and there,
And make her want to stare.
A mile high statement,
It seemed to her,
To say 'rebatement',
Which started the stir.
"Don't go there," Said one with hair,
Who knew just where it led.
That was the face,
That won the race,
And took them by surprise,
She found the doorway to her place,
And to the other's demise,
The yelling and screaming continued, as Serena colored happily.
Luna still clung to the ceiling, as Serena colored merrily.
The world did not stop its turning, though something happened suddenly.
All the people went their way while something changed quite rapidly.
See me, with out-land wishing, want, and, hope, she found herself there,
*SNAP* Serena stiffened up, her eyes widening.
"Oh," her eyes relaxed and she looked around, "I'm here
She looked down at what she was doing, then looked up at a very violent-looking
"Lemme kill 'er, LEMME KILL 'ER!" the raven-haired priestess
yelled, not looking very calm about the situation. She attempted to lunge
at Serena, but was again stopped by the other Senshi, who wrestled her
to the ground. Raye got up once more, and the others backed off a little.
Serena stood up and gathered all the comics calmly, then took the pile
over to Raye, navigating around the blockade. "I believe these are
yours," she said and handed the assorted papers to a suddenly silent
Raye. She then skipped off out the door, humming a peppy tune in a minor
Raye looked through the comics bemusedly and found that the crayon had
been erased. That was odd to her; as far as she knew, crayon wasn't erasable.
The other Senshi, relieved that their frisky friend had finished her
fury, had collapsed in a heap on the floor.
Raye remained standing and looked out the door that Serena had skipped
out of. She wondered what had happened to her. All her wondering would
do her no good, though, for she would never understand the terrible thoughts
that twisted and tangled the mind of the merrily mumbling meatball-head…
at least, not at this point in time.
As for now… she was left with the image of Serena, skipping backwards
into the sunrise.
—End chapter 1—
COMING NEXT CHAPTER: A PLOT (Maybe… if you've been really good)!!!
LUNA'S LITTLE SURPRISE!!!!!
UNA ESCENA PELEA (PARCIALMENTE EN ESPAÑOL)!!!
C&C would be great! ^_^