Disclaimer: Sailor Moon is owned by Takeuchi Naoko, Koudansha, TV Asahi, and Toei Douga, and DIC.

Chapter 10-E

Serena gasped as she woke up. "I'm alive!" she exclaimed in joy. She sat up and looked around, seeing that she was in a hospital room. On other beds, sleeping soundly, were her friends, their transformations having been canceled somewhere along the way. "Amy! Raye! Terra! You're alive!"

The blonde girl looked to the other side of the room, then frowned in disappointment. "Oh," she deadpanned, "so are you."

Darien, in a tattered tux, looked at her and chuckled weakly. "Yeah, nice to see you too, Meatball Head."

Serena held out a hand. "Don't start with me, Darien." She fumbled around, looking for her brooch. She found it on a table next to her, broken in several fragments. "Oh," she whispered, then shrugged. "Maybe Luna can get me another one or something…"

A blue-haired woman by the name of Doctor Anderson walked in, followed by a very worried-looking Kasumi Incognito, who glanced at Serena, smiled slightly, then hurried over to Terra.

Doctor Anderson looked a few things over on a clipboard she was carrying, then looked up to announce, "Everyone, I'm glad to tell you that your injuries were not serious." She turned to Amy, who had just awakened. "Except you. A broken arm, a few fractured ribs, plus a mild concussion. You're going to be staying here a little while, young lady."

Amy smiled slightly. "Thanks for coming, Mom. I'm sorry for—"

Doctor Anderson held up a hand. "No, I heard about the blast. Your injuries have been checked, and I don't think I could handle hearing any more." She looked down at her clipboard. "From what the reports say, you're all lucky to have survived.”

"How long were we out of it?" Darien asked.

"A couple hours," the doctor said. "Those of you who have school could probably go." She quickly added. "Except you, Amy."

"But Mother," Amy almost whined.

"No buts," Doctor Anderson said firmly.

Kasumi just looked into Terra's eyes, held her hand, and smiled.

"Okay," 'Tim smiled, "the burning's stopped." He pulled the dry ice off his forehead, a strip of skin peeling off with it. "Well," he added, his smile flickering as the nerve endings around the crescent moon on his forehead regenerated, "now that I think about it, regular ice would have been more effective."

"Less painful, maybe?" Ukkyo guessed, tossing out the orders for three people.

The pink-haired man thought about it. "Yeah, maybe…"

"Helloooo!" an orange-haired young woman wearing a black and red sorceress outfit called from her table. "Your free meal all-you-can-eat customers are still hungry!" She indicated the tall, blond man and the other girl next to her.

"Be right there!" 'Tim called back, and turned to his employee. "So, how are you holding up as the sole cook, waitress, etcetera at this place?"

The brown-haired woman started pouring a couple more okonomiyaki and shrugged. "It's great, just what I've always wanted."

'Tim leaned in to whisper, "No sudden energy cravings or anything?"

Ukkyo shook her head. "Nope. None. After that weird jolt you gave me just after we were both almost killed, everything's been fine."

"Ah, good. I was wondering about that."

At a far-off table, a blue-haired woman and a black-haired man in formal wear, codenamed Ikuko and Kenji Tsukino, were glancing around, trying not to attract attention.

"I heard that Serena was in the hospital," Ikuko said.

Kenji nodded. "Yeah, but she's okay. We can meet up with her a little later. But for now, meeting our contact is of great international importance." He paused, looking at a man that just came in. "There he is. That's him."

A purple-haired man wearing archaic clothing and carrying a staff walked toward them, a cheerful expression on his face. His hair was in a page cut. "Greetings. How is everything?"

"Oh," Ikuko said, "a few family things to take care of later, but nothing serious."

"Good," the newcomer said, and sat down beside them. "What can I do for you?"

"There's a little," Kenji began, "concern that we have. We need information."

"Sure. On what?"

"Just one man," Ikuko said.

"Okay. Who?"

Kenji took a quick look around, and leaned in to whisper, "Victor Ayrie. Where is he?"

"Ah," the purple-haired man said, the two international agents hanging on his every word. He smiled. "That is a secret."

Kenji and Ikuko slumped back into their seats. "Oookay," they both muttered.

Nephrite stopped his chanting.

The stars whispered to him that there was no need to repent of all his past misdeeds quite yet. The 'power from the stars' that had come to destroy them had been stopped.

That shouldn't have happened, especially with the celestial objects involved in such a decision.

The brown-haired general shook his head. "Oh well."

If the world wasn't doomed, he had some planning to do.

In the small Negaverse cavern, Kunzite stood proudly before his assembled forces. "You," he said, "are the best of the best. None of the other youma can match your power, and I will now send you on your first mission."

"Yes, Lord Malachite," the small army of powerful-looking youma intoned.

General Kunzite closed his eyes, recoiling in a strong wince, then turned to the blonde woman next to him. "Zoicite, now is your chance to eliminate Nephrite. My forces are at your command."

Zoicite smiled. "Thank you, Kunzite."

The silver-haired man smiled down at her. "You're welcome."

The female general stepped toward the group. "Alright, people, we're going to play a little game of cat and mouse with our friend Nephrite. Now, as you know, a mouse needs a bit of cheese to be lured in, so lets get some, shall we?"

A mouse-like youma squeaked in delight, holding out a small piece of Cheddar.

"I was speaking figuratively!" Zoicite shouted.

Doctor Samuel Beckett finally managed to get to get comfortable on Molly's bed, for yet another night in her room.

It wasn't a bad room, to be sure, but this whole situation wasn't getting resolved. How was he supposed to save Maxfield… Nephrite's life if he didn't know where he was?!

All these thoughts were cut off as he heard a rattling at the window. A black mist spilled into the bedroom, instantly knocking him out.

Two Norns were having a discussion.

"NO WAY, URD!" Skuld shouted. "I'm NOT going to do it!"

"But we need to fix the problem with the registry. You said yourself that you've squashed as many bugs as you could already. We'd just be doing damage control. Besides, whoever heard of a male goddess?" Urd debated back.

Skuld pouted. "All right… but ONLY if you can convince Belldandy to go along with it."

"You got a deal! But I get to design the divine weapon."

"I'll get the dress."

Skuld grinned. "And I'll arrange to transfer 'em to another pantheon when we're done."

"A pink padded room should be filled with genetically engineered Cute and Fluffy Bunnies™, Tribbles™, Pokémon™, Beanie Babies™, Teletubbies™, and various other creatures of diabolical cuteness. There should be a number of TV screens playing the most sickeningly sweet cartoons ever produced by humankind and every cutesy theme song for every Magical Girl and 6-and-under TV show ever produced should be piped into the room via hidden speakers.

Bind the martial artist well and cast him into this maelstrom of kawaii, and after a minimum of three days he'll either have begun to learn the dreaded Kawaii-Ken, or be dead of diabetes."

—The Little Big Book of Insanely Powerful and Really Idiotic Martial Arts Techniques, by 'Tim S. Knight.
Chapter 3: The Kawaii-Ken.

Ranma blinked, looking over the book that contained the training technique. "This was what you were planning on doing to me?"

Sailor Pluto nodded somberly. "Yes. Can you find it in your heart to forgive—"

The currently transformed sailor-suited martial artist grinned. "Sounds like a challenge. Bring it on!"

The Time Guardian laughed quietly. It certainly was nice of Ranma to try to make her feel better like that: Treating the method as if it were no big deal; as if she were not truly doing anything bad in the first place. Maybe being engaged to someone like Ranma wasn't such a bad thing after all.

Ranma looked through the book's table of contents. The chapters listed as follows:

1. Neko-ken.
2. Kaioh-ken.
3. Kawaii-ken.
4. Planetary Breaking Points.
5. Ki Overcharging and Area-effect blast-waves.
6. Speed Building Techniques and Friction - effects and uses.
7. Ki Teleporting, Ki Telefragging.
8. Advanced Hammerspace Techniques.
9. Going Nuclear: Truly Final Attacks.
10. The Nastiest Pressure Points Ever Discovered.
11. Building Your Ki to Ridiculous Levels.
12. Ki Blasting The Likes of Which Most Gods Have Never Seen.
13. Intimidation Through Property Damage - How to Make Most Enemies Run Like Scared Little Girls.
14. Weapons Techniques That the Masters of The Art say are ‘Forbidden’.
15. ‘Forbidden’ One Finger Techniques.
16. ‘Forbidden’ Punch Techniques.
17. ‘Forbidden’ Kicking Techniques.
18. ‘Forbidden’ Ki Techniques.
19. ‘Forbidden’ Holds, Grappling, and Throws.
20. Jokes that make Armies Die.

Appendices:

• Appendix One: A Guide to the Immortal Masters of the Art.
• Appendix Two: The Fatal Weaknesses of the Juraian Sword Art and the Jurai Power, and how to exploit them.
• Appendix Three: How to Shatter Light Hawk Wings.
• Appendix Four: How to kill Sayajin in Three Easy Steps.
• Appendix Five: Body Hardening Exercises You'd Have to be Insane to Use.
• Appendix Six: A Guide To The Best Training Grounds In The Universe.
• Appendix Seven: Fun Pressure Points Guaranteed to Embarrass Your Enemies.

"Heheheh," Ranma chuckled evilly, opening to that last appendix. "Wait 'till they get a load a' ME!"

[Sailer Sez]

"Today, we learned something very important."

<Scene of Vegita powering up to Super Sayajin level>

"No matter how powerful you are…"

<Scene of Lina Inverse powering up the Giga Slave>

"No matter how many tricks you've got…"

<Scene of Akuma brutally taking out M.Bison>

"No matter how evil you think you are…"

<Scene of Dark Schneider>

"You can't beat an ArbyFish."

<Scene of Arby holding up a mushroom and reciting poetry>

"Sailer Nuke sez…"

"BWAHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAA!!"

Webmaster: Larry F
Last revision: January 7, 2006