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Important Note: I've done a twitch more research on the Sailor V continuity, and it's not that easy. Some sites are better than others, but none has everything of what I need. I re-read some sections of the manga translations, but seeing a general description of the scenes plus dialogue, while enlightening, is not quite as good as reading through the actual thing. (Besides, we don't getta see awl them thare perdy pictures!)

And aside from that, there are precious few manga scans available online, and some of the best material I found was on a Spanish site. (That one actually had a scan of what Adonis/ Daanburite/ Kaito Ace looked like.) Then there's how to handle the Holy Stone/Crystal Wink Sword that Stylin' got landed with; whether to let it have the full-blown capabilities I've heard it has or not…

Not to mention that one Venusian fortress V's got, and how to factor in the anime snippet while keeping in mind that this is a semi-dubbed continuity, and worse: it's fused with Nuke 'Em 'Till They Glow's nutty goodness!!

In short, don't worry too much about the continuity. It'll all sort itself out in the end. Maybe we'll even be able to fuse back in the lost elements as more information becomes available.

Having said that, let's take this space-time error out on the road and see who's boss!


Chapter 2: On the Bridge Again!

A Sailor V / Nuke 'Em Til They Glow!! crossover story
by Benjamin A. Oliver

Disclaimer: Sailor Moon and Sailor V are owned by Takeuchi Naoko.


3 April, 19XX London, England

Dear Daddy,

I had my first real, all-out battle a couple of days ago. They came straight out of nowhere and started busting up the town. We weren't sure exactly what to do, but we knew we had to stop them.

Oh! When I say "we," I mean me and Sailor V. I joined up with her after I saved her from this nasty flame-monster that tried to kill her. I snuffed out the monster with my ribbon attack and got her out of the building before it burned down. Since then, we've become the best of friends. She's got the best fashion-sense I've ever seen! I like her a lot and we've become a great team.

Anyway, about the big battle. I went out in my recently-updated sailor fuku (Remember that one we used to fight off the youma just before Setsy-san bashed your head in? Well, I got rid of the mask and decided that since "Less is More" was coming into style, a lot of the material probably wasn't necessary, so I cut out most of it below my lower-chest and mid-back to that white notch above my skirt. I think it looks good. It's kinda cold, though.) and scouted out the area. An army of undead-thingies came out of this big flying saucer and started going after the people. We— Sailor V and I— tried stopping them, but there were too many. The police and everyone else didn't stand a chance. In the end, we had to go straight for the leader: a huge, scary guy called "The Nausteemaun." Sailor V's cat knew it was going to be trouble getting rid of him, so the cat gave me this neat weapon called the Crystal Wink Sword. It's so cool! Its energy makes my powers stronger, and, if I swing it right, it can cut through just about anything! I honestly think that now, I could crush Endymion's flimsy armor, if I put my mind to it. You didn't like him, did you? I think he was kinda cute, but… Oh well.

So, when the fight got really long, I did something that'd make you so proud of me! I teleported in close to that mean monster, took care of some of the zombies and vampires, and I fought Nausteemaun! He was tough, but I kept at it and managed to do some damage. He grabbed me and hit me with some sort of electrical bolt. I was stunned, and it hurt! I hate lightning.

I was so worried that I wasn't going to be able to stop him, but then Sailor V came in and nearly defeated him. I was sad that I couldn't finish the fight, but V cheered me up later. We went out for ice cream since school got cancelled that day. The shop's windows were a little broken, but the owners hadn't closed.

I guess the point wasn't that I didn't beat Nausteemaun. The thing is that I went up against the "Great Eighth Ruler of the Horrid Chaos Dimension From Whence There Is No Return" and made it out okay. As a team, V and I stopped him. Just the two of us.

You know, it seems weird not being crowded and contradicted all the time. It's so different from what I was used to. I'm really starting to miss you.

Anyway, Daddy, I just wanted to drop you a line and let you know that your cute, beautiful daughter is safe, happy and healthy. I hope you get this message.

Don't worry, though. I'll come back someday, I promise.

Lotsa Love,
  Yours Truly,
    The Cute and Fluffy,
      Formerly One-shot Warrior,
        For the Love of Beauty and Fashion,

          Sailor Stylin'

OXOXOXOXOXOX

Lynne signed her name with a flourish, put down her pen with the pink feather-puff on the end, placed her elbows on her polished day-glo desk, cradled her face in her hands, and stared at what she had just written on the large sheet of designer stationery. Soft music played in the background.

After a moment of listening to Mandalay's "Beautiful," she shook her head and sighed.

"Should I really tell him that?" the teenage girl asked herself. "It sounds so cliché!" Her lips fell into a pout. "I hate out-of-style, non-retro clichés…"

Shuddering at the possibility of using an outdated method, she tore off the offending sheets, crumpled them up, and tossed them over her shoulder.

The botched letter landed in a pile of similarly unstylish messages inscribed on processed, bleached, and inked wood fibers whose clutter currently concealed the wastebasket.

"What would he like?" Lynne asked aloud again, her face a mask of complete and utter concentration. "What do you think, Mister Seal?" She looked into the sad eyes of a large beanie babie, which was made in the form of a baby harp seal, arguably the most cute and fluffy creature on the face of the Earth.

The stuffed animal just stared at her wordlessly with its glassy little black eyes.

The girl ran her fingers through her long, orange hair while continuing to think to herself aloud. "Daddy overreacts most of the time to everything, so how can I put it so he won't take it in the wrong way?" She took up her pen and started writing again, speaking aloud in a gruff voice, "Sweet Ol' Pops, I'm sorry I had to duck out on you, but I found lots of new opportunities to blow things up real good over here, where there isn't as much competition from other people trying to do the same thing. Bet you'll like that, heh heh heh!"

Lynne examined the page, gagged, sticking out her tongue, then crumpled it up and tossed it with all the others. "That is definitely NOT my style." She ran her fingers through her hair. "What could I…?" Then her eyes lit up.

"Well, eliminate the probable, and all you've got left are the impossible," quoted the girl with her expression brightening, "and lost causes are the only causes worth fighting for." She arched her back for a second, stretching out a bit, clasped her fingers together without cracking her knuckles, then grasped her pen anew. "Daddy, I'm gonna make you proud of me!"

With a level of determination seldom seen on the planet Earth, the impassioned daughter composed her masterpiece.


Dear Mum and Dad,

Hmmm, Mum and Dad. Isn't that how the English usually put it? Yes, I've spent some time here in England, and I'm just loving it to death! Kind of like my last hamster, actually, but let's not go into that again, okay? I learned my lesson, really!

This foreign exchange stuff is great! Here I met a nice girl that's from Japan, too. And she speaks perfect English, just like everyone else back home. Fancy that. Her name's Lynne FaShawn, I think. She said she changed her name a couple of times because the old ones went out of style, so I can't be sure. All in all, she's a little nutty, but aren't we all? Did I just write "all" three times in rapid succession? Oh well. Save the trees, kill the whales and all. Did I just write "all" again?

Getting my kitty through customs was quite a chore, but I managed. I stuffed him into the back of my coat. He didn't complain all that much. Besides, Artemis doesn't have that many germs that could cause problems across the border. If we'd gone to Mongolia, then we'd have had problems. We can't have the cats eating all that spiced Mongolian chicken, what with the insane chicken malady going about. England's much safer. I'm glad there's no insane cow sickness going about here. Would you believe the hamburgers here cost only about half a pound? That's not even one sixth of a kilogram!

Anyhew, the town got pretty badly messed up a couple of days ago, but I'm sure you all heard about the UFO and the alien attack on the news and read about it in the tabloids, so I won't have to go into that. Oh! And thanks for the extra money you sent. Don't worry, I'll spend it responsibly this time. I'll cut down on the trips to the gym and eat more ice cream.

Since Early,

Mina

The blonde put down her pen, folded up the page, then took out an envelope and stuffed her composition into it. Taking out a bottle of Elmer's, she idly glued it closed, spilling the white fluid all over the table in the process.

"Ha-hah!" she whispered to herself in triumph. "I don't HAVE to taste the foul envelope-stickiness, not when I've got my handy-dandy bottle of glue!"

A white cat on the floor looked up at the girl. "Uh, Mina?" he began in a confused manner.

"What is it, Artemis?" Mina asked with the slightest hint of annoyance in her voice. "I am very, very, very busy right now."

"You could just use a sponge if you don't want to lick it," Artemis suggested.

Mina frowned, then stared at the cat for a little while. She looked at the soggy envelope, then at the bottle of glue, then back at Artemis. "Er, of course! I knew that," she said uncertainly.

Artemis shrugged. "As long as it gets there, it's fine, I guess." He brightened a little. "But I think it's great that you're keeping in touch with your family. It reflects well on you."

"Yes, it does, doesn't it?" Then the blonde paused, remembering something very important. "Oh, wait, this time I don't need to write letters, because…" With a dramatic flair, she whipped out a rectangular piece of plastic, about the size of a credit card. "They gave me a Special, International Five-Hundred-Minute Calling Card™!"

A large drop of sweat covered Artemis's face while he watched Mina chuck her hastily scribbled letter into the wastebasket. The girl picked up the phone and dialed home. She sang a few notes to the tune of "I Like to go a-Wandering" as the phone rang. "La-la-lee! La-la-laa! La-la-lee, La-la-lah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!"

It took about eight rings, but her mother eventually picked it up.

"'Ello, Mum," Mina greeted in an enthusiastic mockery of an English accent. "'Ow's it been goin' with yew, then?" After she listened to the long, soft and angry response, she frowned and dropped the accent. "What do you mean 'it's the middle of the night?' I've got my clock right here. It's in the afternoon!"

The blonde bombshell laughed nervously to herself while the angry mutterings came through the line. "Oh, yeah! Time zones. That's right. That would explain why I've had this sudden, overwhelming urge to wear loose-fitting denim trousers lately. Isn't that what they call jet drag? You know," Mina used a deep, Japanese Samurai Warrior voice, "'jedt duuraghuu?'"

On the floor, Artemis groaned and covered his head with his empty food bowl.

"Sure, I can call you back when it's midnight here," Mina replied cheerfully to the weary voice on the phone, which she hung up in the next instant. "Ahh, I love talking to Mom!" She rested her face against a hand and slumped into a posture that was certain to cause back problems after couple of decades doing it. "It's fun."

Artemis padded over to the trashcan and fished out the girl's letter. "Mina, I think you might consider writing to them anyway."

The blonde looked down at him and blinked. "Why? I can talk to them directly, whenever I want to!" She thought about that and worked out some numbers on her fingers. "Well, almost whenever I want to. There's midnight to about ten O'clock. But they're always busy, except for Sundays and Tuesdays…"

"It's nine hours difference," Artemis sighed. "If you call sometime in the morning, everything should be fine."

"Oh." Mina nodded thoughtfully. "That's good to know."

Then the phone rang. Before it got finished with the first chime, the room's sole human occupant had already picked it up. "Dial M for Mina," she greeted in a feigned professional voice, "what can I do for you?"

It was more or less at this point that a split-screen phone conversational scene would have been appropriate, since the opinions of both speakers would need to be considered. After all, we wouldn't want the viewers to be confused, would we?

"Hi, Mina!" Lynne chirped in her typical overly-cheerful voice.

"Hey, Lynne!" the blonde replied enthusiastically. "I just talked to my Mom. Isn't that great?"

On the other side of the diagonally split image of the mind's eye, Lynne nodded. "Families are the loving basis off of which we can draw support and guidance," she replied virtuously, then squeaked with a bright smile, "and they're great to go shopping with!"

"That they are," Mina agreed wholeheartedly. "So, what can I do ya for?" She leaned back and put her sneakers up on the table, her skirt splaying haphazardly down her thigh.

Artemis rolled his eyes and turned around. "Can be tough living with a girl all the time," he muttered.

"Umm," Lynne fidgeted, "would you happen to know how much postage it would take to send a letter to Japan?"

Mina frowned, casually glancing down at her cat, who was sweating. "What do I look like? A typewriter?"

"I figured that, since you had family there too, you'd know."

Completely forgetting that Lynne couldn't see her, the bubbly blonde shrugged and watched Artemis start to tremble while hunkering down and clamping his paws over his eyes. Finally, the cat gave up, hopped onto the table, and spoke into the phone, "You could ask the people at the post office when you send the letter."

"Oh! Hi, Artemis! My, you've got good ears!" Lynne greeted, then paused, considering his suggestion while she paused to consult all of her stuffed animals. "That's a good idea, isn't it?"

Mina reached down and grabbed Artemis by the back of his neck and lifted him up to stare into his eyes. "Artemis, what are you doing?!"

"I was just going to suggest that maybe you two could go together to the post office to send your letters to your families and everything," the feisty feline said easily.

Mina looked like she decided to accept that. "All right." She put him down. "You're such an unruly thing, you know?"

Artemis shrugged.

On her side of the split-screen conversation, Mina sat up straight and spoke into the phone. "Tell ya what, Lynne… Let's go to the post office together and drop off our letters. We'll ask how much it costs over there."

"That sounds good," Lynne agreed. "In style, even!"

"Yup!"

Having looked a bit concerned throughout the entire scene, Lynne pursed her lips, then glanced back at her stuffed animals. After a moment, she asked, "Umm, Mina?"

"Yeah?"

"Have you ever been really alone— I mean, have you ever tried talking to yourself and no one says anything?"

Mina laughed wryly. "Not really. I've always had Mom and Dad, and since I've been traveling, Artemis never seems to want to close his mouth." She glared down at him suspiciously. "I wouldn't mind so much if he'd actually say something useful, like maybe telling us EXACTLY HOW MANY BAD GUYS WE'RE UP AGAINST???" She directed her capitalized words at her cat.

Artemis grinned sheepishly, and wandered off to the windowsill. "I'm not quite sure myself," he whispered in a soft voice to no one in particular.

"I miss not having anyone to talk to," Lynne admitted wistfully. "It'd be nice to have someone like Artemis around when we're not fighting anyone together."

"Ah-hah! That's what local phone calls are for, girlfriend!"

"Yeah, I guess so… But still, I'd like to have some cute, sweet, cuddly, furry, lovable, huggable…"

Mina raised an eyebrow as she tried to apply the continuing string of adjectives to Artemis.

Lynne took a breath and went on, "Fuzzy, fluffy, puffy animal to hug and talk to." She sighed, looking at one of her plush toys. "You know what I want? A seal. A cute little harp seal."

Mina chuckled at that. "That'd sure be something!"


Meanwhile, sitting in a small doghouse somewhere in central Wyoming, a harp seal groaned in utter depression as he felt Destiny calling upon him.

He poked his head out of the doorway and glanced to his left down the endless stretch of pointlessly and meaninglessly constructed highway that led into the mountains. To his right, stretching into the flat plains, he saw something exactly the same, yet different: a road that disappeared into the horizon and around the curvature of the Earth.

"Oh dear," the cute thing moaned in a low, agonized voice, then bit off the chain hooked to his neck, ripped off the collar, and waddled forward into the endless grassland before him. "This is going to be ever so depressing…"


Ahh, Jolly Olde Englande! It's a well-known fact that London offers the visitor amazing panoramas, intriguing history, architectural wonders and buildings of great world historical importance. Taking a sightseeing tour is a great way of getting your bearings and seeing a great deal of London in one go.

Oh, sure, the first day Mina had arrived, she wasted no time in seeing all there was to see. Then, after recovering from severe exhaustion, she went on to examine what looked to be the most fun and went back to see it in greater detail. So, in her first week, she found some fun and fascinating things to do in London town.

Touring the studios of the world-famous BBC Television Centre was nice, Mina thought. Coming face to face with sharks at that one aquarium and riding the observation wheels was pretty fun, too. Even facing the torture chambers in London's most notorious dungeons was rather exciting, as well. In fact, when it came to art galleries or waxworks and opera, London had some of the best she had ever experienced. All in all, Mina got to see the most popular attractions in town.

She had also blown a hefty wad of cash seeing it all, and that was why she couldn't afford bus fare and had to walk all the way over to the appointed meeting spot.

Mina liked walking and running, actually. When it came to sports and athletics, even some Olympic champions would have a tough time competing against her. And those were just the weightlifters.

Still, crossing the Southwark Bridge across the Thames River, on foot, was not all that pleasant.

Long ago, before cleanliness and soap was invented, the people of England used rivers, streams, streets, and the heads of young, plucky, well-dressed nobles in lieu of an underground sewer system.

By far the most economical solution, dumping sewage into the River Thames became a commonly accepted practice by the early to mid 1800s. The Thames, already weighed down somewhat by silt and other dissolved solids by the time it entered the city, soon became saturated with unwanted compounds and slowed down substantially before it passed through more than a fourth of the way. By the time it left, an agnostic could have hopped down and walked across it.

There was something to be said about the River Thames: it was hard to drown in it, but easy to suffocate.

But in our enlightened time, of course, the river was regularly picked clean by swarms of rabid conservationalists. They now said that, with a little filtering, you could drink from it.

Mina wasn't so sure about that. Far from drinking it, she didn't even want to smell it. That last part was what she was currently trying to avoid. With both hands clasped over her nose and mouth, she struggled to block out a scent that new-age capitalists would never dare to call anything but the smell of progress. Below her, the fetid water squelched at the bridge foundations, threatening to eat away the supports.

"Uggh!" Artemis was turning green, struggling not to breathe as he rode in Mina's large purse. "What IS this place?!"

"Iffafinkinfiffah!" Mina replied, not daring to uncover her mouth or nose. She was turning blue.

"Hi, Mina!" Lynne greeted cheerfully as she approached them at the bridge's midpoint. Her gait was not entirely unlike a roadrunner— the sort where the legs whirl in the air and the spine springs into perfect erectness when coming to a halt.

While it was true that the energetic orange-haired girl strolled quickly toward her friend, her movements demonstrated a grace that often takes years of flight training in an aviary or off the edge of a steep cliff to obtain. Therefore, it would have been proper to say that Lynne glided up to stand in a confident posture before Mina, bowing slightly with her arms behind her back as if presenting herself as a lady in waiting before a queen or princess.

As Artemis squirmed around in discomfort, a proof of purchase with points from a cereal box fell out of Mina's bag. It read, "5.9."

At Mina's lack of response, Lynne frowned. "Ahem. I said, HI, MINA!" She smiled broadly to more fully emphasize her contentment at being in the other girl's presence.

Wordlessly, Mina handed Lynne her bag, cat and all, then turned around and gazed over the railing. She leaned downward and her face went pale. Her throat spasmed a few times as something from earlier in the morning expressed its sincere desire to make itself known to the world once more.

Lynne tilted her head and blinked at her friend, apparently perplexed at the reason for such an odd action. Then her eyes lit up. "Oh! I remember this one. Daddy never really had any use for it. It means… What does it mean?" Artemis waving the air around his nose gave her the clue she needed. She too sniffed the air. "Ewww, yuck!" She forced a grimace. It was a little artificial. "Why don't they clean this place up?!"

Then, just as Mina finally started making progress on her quest for delivery from her gastronomical burden, a heavyset man in a black shirt, brown trousers and a grey cap ran by, shoving Lynne aside and knocking the blonde over the railing.

"URK!" Mina choked, her shock overcoming, for the moment, her urge to purge. While she fell, her left hand instinctively went out and caught the lower edge of the bridge.

"Hey!" Lynne stumbled slightly before regaining her balance. "That's not right!"

"Mina!" Artemis cried.

"Stop, in the name of the BMBP!" a brunette in a blue police uniform shouted as she ran past the two girls in pursuit of the man. Her hair was shoulder length and her uniform included a white shirt and a tie beneath a long-sleeved blue jacket with brass buttons, a tight-looking knee-length skirt, and a flat-topped blue cap. She also had a whistle, which she kept blowing at regular intervals.

"The BMBP?" Mina coughed, trying to grab hold of something with her other hand while mulling over the acronym. "The British Motor Boat Police?" She looked downward and winced at the floating bits of rotting and other assorted unnamed debris. She also saw a fast-looking boat floating— or sitting, rather— in the water, tethered to a nearby pier. "Hmm…"

A casual observer might note how well the girl was taking her precarious position. Actually, several did.

"Oh, this is interesting," an American noted from a tourist barge that had just passed below the bridge, directly underneath Mina. He aimed his camera and took a few well-placed shots, as did several others near him. "What are they doing up there?"

A woman beside him shrugged. "Strange Japanese tourists going bungee jumping off a short bridge in skirts, I'd imagine…" The tourists mumbled amongst themselves in general agreement as they discussed the situation.

Lynne scrambled over the railing in an effort to reach down pull her friend back up. "MmmmMM!" She strained to reach down lower, but she couldn't quite make it. The flash bulbs from the tourists' cameras weren't helping much, either. "I can't reach you!" She thought for a second, then snapped her fingers. "I know!"

In a blur of pinkish light, a thick ribbon appeared in her hands, then extended downward to where Mina could take hold of it.

"All right!" Mina whispered triumphantly as she climbed to safety. When she finished scrambling back over the railing, she turned to her friend and said, "Wait a second, I didn't know you could use your powers without transforming."

"The fuku's just for show," Lynne noted. "And so's the business of shouting out my attack names." At her friend's raised eyebrow, she hastily added, "I mean, it wouldn't be proper not to, but it's just a lot of concentration and energy manipulation, right?" Realizing the paradox resulting from her friend having asked that sort of question, she blinked, folded her arms, and tilted her head quizzically at the blonde. "You mean it isn't the same for you?"

"Not exactly," Mina breathed.

Staring at each other, the two shared a silent moment.

The stress of the situation somehow managing to take Artemis's mind off the reeking stench of the river, the cat took a breath. "Uh, hey, you two? I felt something strange from the guy that ran by; like the vibes the youma from the Dark Agency sent out." Jarred by his voice, the girls turned toward him, the tension between them broken. "Look, he's obviously up to no good— You need to go after him!"

Lynne and Mina nodded vigorously and said together, "Oh! Right?" They looked at each other. "Yes— right!"

Mina cracked her joints. "Oh yeah, and besides, I've gotta show 'em for trying to knock me into that stinking, dirty river!" She wrinkled her nose and, finding as concealed a spot on the open bridge as possible, she whipped out her pen. "Moon Power, Transform!"

"Moon?" Lynne mused, putting a finger to her cheek. "She seems more like a Venus to me." Shrugging that off, she struck an artistic pose, even though nobody except for Artemis was watching. "Stylin' Fashion Power, Make Up!"

In a flurry of ribbons, blazing stars, glowing skin, and acrobatic stunts, their outfits started to form. Sailor S's figure-hugging upper and lower white suit sections appeared first, leaving her midriff uncovered. Next, the red sailor-collar blazed together about her neck and shoulders, followed by her blue skirt and pink ribbons. Elbow-length white gloves and short designer boots came next, and a tiara with a stylized S at the forehead shimmered into place over her brow.

To complete the ensemble, the Crystal Wink Sword shimmered into view on her back in its diagonally-placed, gem-studded scabbard. The crescent-shaped hilt of the weapon peeked over her left shoulder.

Sailor V's sequence was much more utilitarian: stars and stripes revolved around her, forming all of her red, white and blue sailor suit in one fell swoop.

His resolve beginning to fail him, Artemis turned away. He determined to take a long, cold bath later that evening.

"Stylin'!" Sailor S announced, striking yet another in her long list of poses.

"V for Victory," Sailor V added, not one to be left out for peppy phrases. Hearing the continued scream of the policewoman's whistle, she said, "Let's go get 'em!"

Stylin' slapped a fist into her open palm, her sword-hand looking a bit itchy. "All right!"


"I say: STOP!" Katrina of the BMBP cried as she continued to pursue the criminal.

The shady man merely chuckled in reply while he sprinted away.

"He obviously doesn't understand English," the policewoman muttered to herself. "He must be one of those Spanish Mafia members I've heard so much about." She wasn't exactly out of breath; her tight skirt merely kept her from reaching her top running speed. The mere fact that she maintained pace with the man was amazing. "¡Alto, en el nombre de la BMBP! ¡Que se para, señor!" She sighed. "Oh, dear… ¡Por favor! Oh, maybe he's French. Oui, merci, yavolt! Oh, bugger it, that's not it…"

The two dodged through alleyways, went back and forth through moving traffic, causing two or more spectacular accidents on the way, and finally ended up pushing their way through a crowded street.

Katrina drew her billy club and did her best to look menacing. Her flattering dress uniform and her soprano British accent wasn't helping much. "I order you to cease and desist! I am hereby placing you under arrest." She didn't have to flash her badge; in the sun, it gleamed all by itself on her uniform.

The crowd, which consisted of businessmen, manual laborers, tourists, and the occasional adorable little blue-haired girl.

Finding himself boxed in on all sides by people, buildings, and finally the police officer, the capped miscreant curled his lips in anger.

Then he took a hostage.

Everyone collectively gasped.

"Mommy!" the adorable little blue-haired girl cried, struggling in vain within the large man's strong grip.

The girl's mother stared agape in shocked horror. "Oh no!"

The large man started to laugh, his hands reaching closer to the girl's neck, and he began to glow. His laugh turned into an agonized, yet gleeful chortling noise.

When the light vanished, in the man's place stood a gaunt, green beast with green, leathery skin, red, glowing eyes, eight-inch-long razor-sharp teeth, and scythe-like claws. To top that off, it had horns and other spiky devices extending from its head, neck, and legs.

The toddler cried even louder in fright.

The green beast continued to chuckle evilly, holding a sharp blade to the girl it held while advancing forward.

"Oh dear," Katrina whispered, her eyes wide.

"Crescent Beam, SMASH!"

All of the sudden, a column of light flared downward, punching through the monster's shoulder, severing the nerves that connected its left side to its central nervous system. The beam continued frying all the way through its body to its leg, which exploded in a spray of foul-smelling scorched ichor.

The beast howled in agony while it lost its grip on the girl with one hand and staggered in an attempt to remain upright.

Everyone, including the monster, looked up to the origin of the voice and the attack. They all had to strain to see past the glare of the sun and up the high panorama.

On the roof of a five-story building stood a masked blonde whom Englanders had recently all come to know as Sailor V.

"Sailor V Kick!" Fluidly leaping into a somersault, V dove face-first off the building, then spun into a kick. Her cumulative velocity drove the toe of her right slipper into the beast's neck. The impact not only shattered all of its neck vertebrae; the reverberation also cracked its skull and destroyed what remained of its circulatory system.

In same movement, Sailor V caught the hostage, twirled around in the air for a moment, and landed softly, facing away from Katrina.

Without so much of a cry of "Lovely," "Refresh," "Beautiful," or even "AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH," the devastated beast groaned weakly while it melted into a pile of ash.

Sailor V released the toddler, who spun around to look at her rescuer, and beamed, "Thank you!"

In a flash of faint red light, another young woman appeared alongside V. Katrina recalled Sailor S from the recent news reports. No one could easily forget that outfit.

S had her sword out, looking ready for any sort of fight that might come her way. "Okay, where is he?!"

"I got 'em," V announced, not without a hint of pride. She kicked at the pile of dust by her feet. "He turned into a monster, so I guess Artemis got it right this time."

Unseen by the two warriors for Love, Justice, Beauty, and Fashion, the pile pulsed, then melted into a puddle of goo before beginning to expand.

"My, that certainly was a shock," Katrina noted. The two sailor-suited girls turned toward her. She smiled pleasantly. "Ah, the famous mistresses S and V. Thank you ever so much for taking care of that villain for us. I thought he just wanted to avoid paying a parking ticket— how odd he would turn out to be a monster."

Without missing a beat, S sheathed her sword and struck a pose. "Fear not, brave law-enforcement official! Fighting evil isn't just our profession of choice; it's in style!" Not noticing how the dusted monster seemed to be regenerating, she turned toward V. "The area seems secure. We can probably leave now."

V nodded. "Nothing else to do here, really." She flashed the V for victory sign and started to swing around, but was stopped by Katrina.

The policewoman held up a hand and said, "Wait! We've been looking for you. We need your help!"

That caught the girls' attention.

"You do?" S asked, her eyes lighting up. Below her, the monster's newly reformed eyes snapped open and a claw shot out of the goo, grabbing her ankle.

Katrina nodded and turned around, motioning for the two to follow. "Oh, yes," she whispered to V. "According to our information, you were the ones who stopped the extraterrestrial assault on Monday, weren't you?"

The youma pulled Sailor Stylin's feet out from under her, smacked her hard to the ground and clasped its unclawed hand to her neck. "Urk!" the orange-haired girl choked.

V smiled in thought while she and Katrina started to walk away from S. "Yeah. They put up SOME fight, let me tell you." She paused. "How did you know about that?"

The youma lifted the struggling girl off the ground and slammed her down against its jagged knee in an effort to snap her in two.

"MMMH!" S grimaced when a short spike bit into her back, but her innate flexibility helped guard her spinal column from serious damage.

"One of our officers was filming nearby," Katrina added, turning her English-bred manners on full blast. She proceeded to explain the quality of Goode Olde British law enforcement. "It's a very long tradition, you see…"

With a grunt of effort, Sailor S brought up a free hand and smacked it against the monster's cheek. The strike generated a very sharp noise, rather like the crack of a very large and powerful whip. Moreover, the impact sent the beast reeling backward and, at the same time, forced it to let go of her. A dark, hand-shaped mark appeared on its cheek.

S tumbled away, landing on a knee. She crossed her arms in front of her chest, her irises glowing with hidden power. "Stylin'," she whispered in a deadly voice, "Victoria's Secret Strike!" She thrust both hands forward and a tangle of elastic ribbons burst forth, ensnaring its upper torso and lower hips. Straining, the girl clenched her fists, causing the encircling bands to constrict.

"Your officers like to go out and film things, eh?" V continued.

Katrina nodded. "Oh, yes. Well, major disturbances, at least. We absolutely love to keep important things like that on record."

Groaning in pain as its bones crumbled and its internal organs were crushed under the assault, the monster leapt forward, slashing downward with its bladed arm, catching S in the shoulder.

Like a good, albeit a bit small, set of chainmail armor, S's well-designed silky outfit deflected the cutting power of her enemy's weapon. However, the force still knocked her down. She fell flat on her back and hit her head against the pavement. Her concentration broken for the moment, the monster's new set of lingerie vanished.

Enraged and not missing a beat, the spiky youma grabbed S by the leg and started swinging her around, slamming her into the tops of several nearby cars, denting each of them seriously.

"Have you been working with Sailor S for very long?" Katrina asked, neither she nor V noticing the battle going on behind them.

V shook her head. "No, but we've been doing pretty good so far."

"Owww! Oooh! Eeeegh!" S yelped with each impact. Finally, the monster held her up in front of her and slashed at her midsection. The girl sucked in her unprotected tummy a little to avoid having it sliced open for her. "Eeeek!"

Regaining her composure, S reached over her left shoulder and unsheathed the Crystal Wink Sword. In a smooth motion, she lopped off the beast's head before it could react. In the same combination, she proceeded to impale it in the heart, slice off the arm that held her, and bisect it vertically, straight down the middle.

The monster's head, agape in shock, melted into a pile of dust, as did the rest of the monster's remains.

Katrina tried to think of something else she could say to help break the ice. "So, do you two have secret identities, or are you on call all the time?"

"Nah, we're on call all the time," V boasted.

"I beat you, so your powers are mine," S whispered at the dust, looking rather miffed. She held out her hand toward the dust and scrunched her face down in concentration. The ashes disappeard, and in their place formed a greenish, eight-sided crystal with a glowing sphere in the center. The gem floated toward her chest and vanished, absorbed into her body.

"Do you fight shapeshifting monsters very much?" Katrina prodded.

V nodded. "I've been doing it for quite a while now."

Sailor S, disheveled with her hair and ribbons messed up, struck a sloppy victory pose with her weapon held aloft. The Crystal Wink Sword gleamed and flared in the sunlight.

Relaxing and sheathing her weapon, the girl felt a new power flow through her. Her clothes shifted slightly. Her two-piece red, white, and blue sailor suit turned to emerald shades, her shoulder guards elongated down her arms slightly. Yellow flowers appeared in her hair and a few green vines weaved themselves into her bangs. Her short boots became embossed by images of trees, flowers, and other things of nature.

Katrina tilted her head at the small— but very brave— blonde. "How about Sailor S? Is she any good at fighting?"

V shrugged. "She's okay, and can always use a little help."

When the transformation was complete, Stylin' smiled broadly.

In a swirl of green and pink light under her skin, the puncture wound on her back disappeared.

"I got Stylin' Cosmetic/Therapeutic Healer!" the girl beamed, pleased with herself. "Daddy would be so proud— I copied my first power!" She hopped up and down.

When her abrasions and bruises finished repairing themselves, she caused her old outfit to reappear by an act of will. "Now I can use it whenever I've got a cut or scrape. I don't have to wait so long for it to get better." She clapped her hands for joy. "I'm so happy!"

Katrina realized that she needed to figure out who was commanding the team, if she were to ask for any help. She turned around to face V and S. The second girl had just caught up with them, taking up a position beside her friend. "Whom, may I ask, shall I speak to as the leader of your team?"

S took an exhausted breath, and proudly pointed at V. "She's the leader. I'm still learning."

The blonde shook her head. "No, we're a real team. We help each other out."

"But you're a better fighter," S protested, stretching out her recently-exercised arm.

"You usually get on the scene faster," V retorted, holding up a scorecard she had been keeping for their response times.

S touched her ginger locks. "You've got prettier hair!"

"You've got the neater outfit."

"But yours is always in style!" S looked down and frowned at her short skirt. "Mine needs to be updated all the time."

Katrina nodded in approval of the duo. It was truly refreshing to see a pair of superheroines that got along so well. She put her arm around V's shoulders and started to lead her away. "Would you mind accompanying me to the station? We have something that could use your expert care." To herself, she added. "After all, Green Lantern hasn't been heard of for ages. Probably dropped his power ring down the sink or some such nonsense…"


It was the NORAD of all British Police stations. Cables, wires, and stainless steel covered every available surface in sight. Monitors dotted the walls and every officer moved with twice the discipline of any Imperial Stormtrooper.

"Nice setup," S commented, examining a terminal as they entered. "It kind of reminds me of Daddy's place. Except for the officers all over the place. It's kind of lonely back home. Except for the robots. And the holograms. But then again, with Daddy there, I could never be lonely."

"So, what does the BMBP do, anyway?" V asked.

"Why, we're the British Motor Boat Police, of course. Who protects Britain from invasion? We do!" Katrina's smile broadened at the others' confused expressions, while she led them to the briefing room. "Yes, well, we bought surveillance equipment instead of more boats, and accepted pay cuts so we could hire more investigators and put in more television sets. We mustn't have smugglers on Britain's soil. What would the rest of Europe say?"

They finally reached their destination.

Katrina whispered to the man that looked like the police chief, who turned and greeted the two heroines on their way in. "Sailor V and Sailor S, I presume?"

The two girls nodded in agreement.

The bearded police chief cleared his throat, his moustache moving as he did. "Absolutely smashing! Ladies, we of the BMBP have a mission for you, should you choose to accept it."

"Oh?" S and V asked in unison.

"It seems," Chief continued, "that all the offices of the BBC have been taken over by this simply dreadful monster. We need someone capable of dealing with it."

"The creature," Katrina cut in, "claims to be part of an organization called the Dark Agency. I imagine such accomplished warriors such as yourselves have had to deal with it in the past?"

V tensed noticeably. "Y-yes."

"Really?" S whispered to the blonde. "What happened?"

"I'll tell you later," V replied quietly. "For now, let's just say I had a couple of bad relationships."

If the face is the mirror of the soul, S's soul reflected a distinct lack of illumination from V's statement. "Oh."

"It's a most dangerous task, no doubt about that." Chief's moustache twitched and ruffled as he spoke.

Katrina shot V a disarming smile. "I say, could the two of you be a dear and pop down to the BBC and ask that monster to vacate the premises? That would be ever so lovely."

"How long has he been there?" S piped up.

"For at least several hours, that we're aware," the chief noted. "And from the looks of it, we think it's a she."

"If she's draining energy," V muttered, "she's probably pretty charged up by now…"

"Time's a-hipping," S added.

"A squeeze of lime saves time," V quoted.

"No presents are like the time!"

"She who hesitates is boss!"

"You're on!"

With that, the two heroines spun around and rushed toward the exit, preparing for their assault on BBC headquarters.

"Splendid," Chief commented. "Absolutely splendid." He looked at Katrina. "Do go, take a squad, and back them up, won't you?"

Katrina nodded. "Oh, yes, of course!"

The policewoman hurried out, grabbing a large walkie-talkie, a helmet, and one of those Plexiglas shields before she left.

"Brilliant, absolutely brilliant the way she found those two," Chief added to himself. Something occurred to him. "Now if she'd have told me why she was wearing her dress uniform to work. There weren't any large public events scheduled for today…"

 

To be continued.


And now, once again, here we are with…

Sailor Stylin's Tip For the Day!!!! Hip-hip hooraaaaay! (Cringe-twitch!)

(Scene of Lynne thoughtfully writing a letter)

"Some people like to stay in contact with their family members."

(Scene of Mina holding away the phone at arm's length while a whole bunch of shouting comes through)

"Even though others might not appreciate the effort quite as much as we do, it's important to keep trying."

(Scene of a tall guy with pink hair scratching his head as he reads a long letter with detailed manga-style sketches of Sailor V and Sailor Stylin' drawn throughout the margins)

"Because even though some of us might not get home as much as we like…"

(Scene of a white seal waddling up to and staring forlornly at a sign that reads, "Now exiting Wyoming State Limits. Welcome to Utah!" The animal slumps to the ground, highly depressed)

"And a lot of us do travel…"

(Scene of a French fashion show with Sailors S and V participating, with Katrina watching and applauding, quite impressed)

"So we have to stay on top of things, like Fashion at home and Styles abroad!"

(Scene of Lynne staring, aghast in complete and utter horror at a new line of pantsuits in 1960s pastel colors)

"Because if we don't, we might have to end up wearing something unstylish!"

(Scene of Stylin' kneeling down and executing her "Victoria's Secret Strike" attack)

"And that's my tip for the day! Tee-hee!"

(Ending credit music to Jennifer Love Hewitt's "My Only Love…")


Author’s notes: So, how was that for a cute li’l filler chapter?

Think it needs more sugar? ^^

I originally had in mind a Stylin'-oriented story with mostly action sequences, but the poll let me know that people want mostly equal proportions of both girls (especially since Minako didn't quite get as much attention in the Sailor Moon series as most would have liked), with WAFFy stuff AND action stuff. This has been most educational.

In the future, some polls will be used to determine major plot points that I feel could go either way.

Great, big loads of heaping praise go out to these fine individuals:

  • Larry F, for his assistance and suggestions to help further the storyline!
  • Joseph Fenton, for his review and prereading!
  • Jason Hanks, who has not quite yet abandoned the project…

And many, many thanks for those who participated in the poll concerning how the story was to develop.


Chapter 3
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