Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon, Star Wars, the Tick, any DC or Marvel Comic Book characters, Pokémon, or Dragon Ball Z. (I wish I did; do you have any idea how much money these things make?) Again, others may use the Physics Police with my permission.

Part 11: The "Calm" Before the Storm

Universe FC-1
Metropolis, United States of America,
North America, Earth

Once again, the Hulk was in a large city. He had no idea where it had come from; just two weeks ago, this spot had been a national park that he had enjoyed visiting. Where is Hulk? Why stupid humans always ruin pretty trees? He had no use for the human's cities; they were big, ugly, noisy and smelly. (Many humans would say the same about him, but not to his face.) As usual, he wasn't consciously trying to destroy property (the Hulk didn't do an awful lot consciously), but a half-ton giant leaping through your city tends to break things. He landed directly on top of the mayor's limo. Fortunately, nobody had been inside, but the Hulk wouldn't have particularly cared either way. Bending his massive legs for another leap, Hulk was knocked back by a bolt of energy.

The attack didn't cause any actual damage. He was more surprised than hurt. "Who hit Hulk?" Turning to face his tormentor, the Hulk saw four people dressed in ridiculous costumes. One was dressed in a red and yellow jumpsuit with a lightning bolt boldly printed on the chest. Another was a woman dressed in a skimpy red, white and blue ensemble. The other woman wore a mask and had feathery wings sprouting from her back. Finally, one was in a familiar blue costume, with a red cape and a yellow "S" on his chest. Hulk thought he recognized one or two of them, but it didn't matter. "Puny humans never leave Hulk alone!" Fed by his anger, his strength began to grow.

The Justice League of America was quick to respond. They had received reports of a creature destroying property at random, and they had found him. Superman began barking orders. "Flash, Hawkgirl, flank his left. Wonder Woman, you and I go up the middle. Break!" The Flash was first to arrive.

"Hey there, tall, green and ugly, watch this!" He began to windmill his arms, creating a powerful whirlwind that would have sent most opponents flying. This oaf didn't even notice. Flying at high speed, Hawkgirl uttered an inarticulate battle cry and attempted to crush the Hulk's skull with her mace. With a surprising speed, he grabbed the archaic weapon and ground it to dust between his fingers.

"Bah! Puny weapons no hurt Hulk!" He swatted her aside, as a normal man would a gnat.

Suddenly, the remaining heroes were upon him. The Hulk took several painful blows, mostly from Superman. Finally, he was thrown back by a particularly powerful uppercut from the Man of Steel.

The Flash gave his leader a thumbs-up. "Looks like he's finished!"

While the Flash congratulated himself, the Hulk recovered from the attack.

"Now Hulk mad! Hulk smash puny humans!" He leapt forward, catching Superman in the face with both of his enormous feet. The leader of the Justice League was thrown back. Wonder Woman threw her Golden Lasso in an attempt to ensnare the Hulk. It tightened, and the Hulk flexed him inhumanly large muscles. After a few moments, the mystical lasso snapped into several pieces. Then, the Hulk clapped his hands. The massive shockwave knocked her backwards into a semi truck. She went in one side, and out the other.

The Flash began to run in circles around the Hulk. The green behemoth was confused by this. "What stupid Red Man do?"

"Even you need air, ugly!" The vortex was creating a vacuum around the green giant, and he was beginning to suffocate. The Hulk had encountered this before, and knew what to do. He stuck out his massive arm, and the Flash was unable to stop in time to avoid smashing his face against the grotesquely large limb.

About the same time, Superman recovered from the assault. He had tangled with the Hulk before, but something was wrong. Last time, he hadn't been this savage, nor as strong. It looks like Banner's reverted to his previous state. He had seen this Hulk before, when Bruce Banner's personality hadn't yet merged with the other half, and had been able to beat him with minimal effort. He must be really mad.

"Cape man want fight Hulk? Bah! You just make Hulk mad, and madder Hulk get, stronger Hulk get!" The two began exchanging blows, and neither made any headway. However, Superman could feel that he was slipping. As time went on, the Hulk's blows were beginning to add up, and he was becoming drowsy. On the other hand, this brute didn't even seem to notice his strongest punches, and was growing stronger by the second. Superman flew away, and tried his heat vision. The twin beams of red light struck the Hulk in the chest. The behemoth was only forced backwards a few inches.

"Funny red light no hurt Hulk! Nothing hurt Hulk! Hulk strongest one there is! Hulk smash!" He clapped again, and the vibration forced the Man of Steel to halt his attack. This was the only opening the Hulk needed. Leaping into the air, Superman almost thought he had retreated. Then, the massive feet smashed into his face again, carrying him down through the pavement, and into the subway. Before Superman could recover, the Hulk knocked him unconscious with a vicious double-handed blow.

With nobody left to fight, the Hulk began wandering the tunnels beneath the city. Neither he nor the unconscious Justice League noticed the swarm of nanobots that had been deployed to this city, taking samples of the myriad of super beings inhabiting Metropolis.

Level one,
Physics Police Headquarters

O'Connor, after months of work in his attempts to restabilize the multiverse, had thought the hardest part behind him. Now, operating more on coffee than sleep, he looked at the printout from monitor number two. It showed that several rifts still existed between the new universe and others adjacent. All of his Policemen and local Militiamen were scrambling in an attempt to close these rifts. However, after that was done, they would have to find a balance between the various beings. It was impossible to separate the merged realities, so they would all have to learn to get along. O'Connor groaned and reached for his Advil. This could prove quite difficult.

First of all, they had been using television, radio and other media to subliminally give everyone memories of major events that had occurred in their newly shared dimension. Now, everybody who thought him or herself educated knew that Doctor Victor von Doom's tiny Eastern European nation of Latveria had always existed, thousands of official maps and charts be damned!

Everybody now knew of Cell's bid for world domination, during which he had single-handedly vaporized an army division, and the fact that a professional wrestler by the name of Hercule had finally defeated him. Nobody questioned this last fact; it was common knowledge. Even those who lived in New York, superhero capital of several worlds, knew that Cell and the "golden haired warriors" were nothing but tricksters, and that nobody was really that strong. These same people, thinking this, might casually wave to Spiderman as he went on patrol.

These important factoids were being distributed, and the holes that objects from other universes were coming through were being closed, albeit slowly. He had just dispatched special unit three to deal with a crisis in "The City."

On one side of the street were two men. One was dressed in a light blue form-fitting costume with antennae. The other was clothed in a white costume with wings and bunny ears (he would tell you that they were moth antennae). On the other was a man with red and black tattoos and horns, dressed in a black cloak. Neither side was quite sure what to do about the others.

The man in the blue costume whispered to his partner. "Hey, Arthur, do you know who this guy is?"

"For the fifth time, Tick, no I don't!"

The cloaked man's patience was finally worn away. "I am Darth Maul, Lord of the Sith!" He waved his hand in the direction of the superheroes. "You will leave!" Arthur obediently winged his way back to his apartment. As he stood his ground, Tick demonstrated a very important point: one must have a mind for the Jedi mind trick to work.

"This one has a strong will… I shall enjoy killing you!" He leapt forward, lightsaber blazing.

"Evil-doer, know that I am the Tick! Evil is afoot, and I am Justice's shoe! Spoooooooon!"

"Spoon? What in the name of the twelve rings of Klaktar is that supposed to mean?" It should be noted that Darth Maul had no idea what Klaktar was, or why it had twelve rings. It just sounded good.

"Why, it's my heroic battlecry! Spoon! Have at you!"

His mind isn't as strong as I initially believed. Intending to end the battle quickly, Maul slashed down with his double-bladed lightsaber. It struck home, directly on the Tick's head. To Maul's amazement, it didn't penetrate.

"He-he! That tickles!" After a few moments, Tick casually grabbed the deadly weapon from his hands.

"Impossible! A lightsaber can cut through anything!"

The costumed clod was now using it to scratch his back. He gave a sigh of contentment. "Aw, thanks friend! I've had this itch all day, but I couldn't reach it!" After finishing, he handed the weapon back to the shocked Sith Lord. "Now, where were we?"

Darth Maul stood in dumb amazement. This being is indestructible! I cannot beat him!

"Actually, he prefers the term "nigh-invulnerable".

Both men turned to face the source of the new voice. "Who?"

There were three beings, all clad in the standard uniform of the Physics Police. The psychic who had spoken bore a striking resemblance to the X-Men's Jean Grey. In fact, she was Jean Grey, from a universe that had ceased to exist during the recent crisis. To her left was a short man in a brown robe, who was leafing through the "Grimorum Achrinorum Cliff Notes." The other was a Mon Calamari by the name of Gorth. He served as the unit's science officer.

Finally, the man in the robes found the spell that he was looking for. "Here we are! Time Freeze!" Around the two semi-combatants, time froze.

Sergeant Grey sighed. The short man was Wally, forced to do three hundred hours of community service for almost destroying the space-time continuum. And, of course, he was assigned to her unit. "Wally, have you been taking those Ginko-Colloba memory pills I gave you?"

"Yup."

"Well, you aren't getting any better!"

"Yes, I am. Yesterday, I would've looked in this book." He held up a copy of "Astrophysics for Dummies".

Gorth interjected. He held a complex device roughly the size of an older Game Boy. "I've isolated Maul's home universe. Teleportation beginning… now!" A wormhole opened up beneath the Sith Lord's feet. He would return to universe SW-X98-45-M just in time to be sliced in half by Obi Wan Kenobi. SU3 unfroze the Tick, and went on to the next hotspot: something about a Snorlax and a truckload of chocolate chip cookies…

Of course, Phil and company weren't informed of these new developments. They had a more vital mission. Admittedly, at the moment, they had no idea what to do next.

So, SU5 had acquired a couple of hotel rooms near the World Martial Arts Tournament. They figured that they should stay close to this future hotspot. Of course, the hotel had been booked solid for months in anticipation of the Tournament, but it was amazing what you could get when you claimed to be the Emperor of Japan's personal bodyguard unit. Despite the fact that they didn't look the slightest bit like a professional unit, the Physics Police had the most advanced forging devices in the known universe. Phil almost felt sorry for the poor suckers who had had their rooms taken away. Almost.

Phil and Ralph were sharing one room, and the girls the other. Phil and GoChibi had both signed up to enter the competition, and the group was now engaged in the all-important activity of being bored. Since the tournament was held on a small island, with little room for building beyond various hotels, a few restaurants, and the arena, there was no place to go. At the moment, GoChibi was napping, Usagi had taken another sniff of chloroform, Ecks was wandering the area, and Ralph and Phil were locked in a game of Star Wars Podracer. Both were growing weary of the game. With Phil's Chi enhanced reflexes and Ralph's Force intuition, neither of them crashed, and victory always came by the virtue of one tenth of a second.

Throwing down his controller, Ralph cursed. "I just wish something interesting would happen!" His temper tantrum behind him, he picked up the controller and the next race started. It was at this exact moment that a jagged hole in came out of thin air directly behind them. From the portal came a pair of feline creatures. One was large, over six feet tall. It was white, with purple marks on its stomach and tail. A pair of tubes connected its head and its torso. A similar, tiny pink creature was its companion. The two were locked in mortal combat, firing bolts of psychic energy.

By this time, Phil and Ralph had gone back to their game. Phil looked at them with his peripheral vision. "Hey, Mewtwo, Mew! How goes it?"

"Mew?"

Huh? The voice wasn't spoken. Instead, the pair of Physics Policemen would have sworn that it had come from their own thoughts… Had they given a damn, that is.

Who are you, that you know who we are?

Phil's character boosted, and Ralph followed suit. The mage snorted. "What, I only caught you in the game about, what, a dozen times?"

The purple aura around Mewtwo flared as his anger grew. You DARE treat me as a game?

"That's about the size of it. Now would you mind going back through your portal and continuing your fight elsewhere? This is a nice room, even if we aren't paying for it." Suddenly, the race ended. "All right! I won! I won!" Ralph began doing a rather unattractive victory dance.

I shall show you the price of ignoring me! A ball of psychic energy formed in its three fingered hand.

Without skipping a beat, Phil pointed his right hand at the Psychic Pokémon. "Go away! You're throwing off my game!" A small chi bolt slammed into Mewtwo's chest, sending him flying back through the portal. "G'bye, Mew! Have a nice day!" Mew, with a rather confused look on its face, flew back into the portal.

Ralph sighed. "Like I said, I wish something interesting would happen! This is so boring!"

"Hey Ralph, loser closes the dimensional rift!"

"You're on!" On the screen, Gasgano accelerated to match Rats Tyrell.

To be continued.

Webmaster: Larry F
Last revision: January 7, 2006