A Ranma ½ one-shot story
By Adrian D. Moten
Disclaimer: Ranma ½ and its characters and settings belong to Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Kitty, and Viz Video.
Introduction: This takes place at the end of the "Nihao, My Concubine" movie.
"Oh… my head…" Ranma moaned as he slowly regained consciousness. He was dimly aware that he was draped over a tree branch like a cheap, wet rug. "What happened…?"
No sooner than he had said those words, memories flashed before his eyes. He was fighting against Toma, the boy prince who had kidnapped Kasumi, Nabiki, Shampoo, Ukyou, and last, but not least, Akane in preparation for choosing a bride. Things had gotten bad in the race for Akane on the mine carts, then degenerated into worse; he and Akane had flipped out of the cart and plummeted towards the permanent man-changing water pool far below.
His salvation, his one hope of remaining a guy once and for all… and he was going to throw it all away for her. No way could he let those waters damn her permanently into a life of masculinity. Despite his desire to be finally cured, despite her words telling him not to worry about her and just get the cure, he charged up to release a Mouko Takabisha and obliterated the pool.
However, just when he'd thought the situation couldn't get any worse, it did. Just as he released the yellow beam of ki, his arms were yanked aside, sending the energy to carve a useless groove along the wall of the shaft. Stunned, Ranma's head turned towards the source of the disruption…
…And found himself meeting Akane's teary, smiling eyes.
She kissed the bewildered youth quickly, and said something to him, but he didn't hear it.
He didn't have the luxury of being stunned or puzzled at the moment; it was life or death now. Everything else had to take a backseat. He summoned confidence into the palm of his hands with the waters so close, too close for comfort. "Mouko Takabisha!!" Ranma cried out, successfully firing the yellow beam into the surface of the liquid mirror below them, detonating the bottom of the pool, which would result in the loss of his cure. At least Akane would be—
The water suddenly surged up, as if in a final act of defiance. Ranma realized that he'd made a critical miscalculation. The wake of the Mouko Takabisha had left a vacuum, and by natural law, something had to fill the void… He quickly tried to use his body to shield Akane from the waterspout rising violently to greet them. With an impact like that of slamming into a wall, he felt the liquid engulf him, and then blacked out.
Suddenly, Ranma's eyes flew open with revitalized alertness and fear. "Akane, you idiot!! Where the hell are you?!"
Above him, a groan answered his outburst. Quickly, he sprang up the tree, leaping from limb to limb until he found the source of the groan. He froze in horror upon seeing the identity of the person.
It was a boy with a crown of flowers tucked into his short hair, wearing a soaking wet white gown.
"Akane?" he asked, fervently hoping that it was really Tsubasa, or some other cross-dresser that may have been on the floating island.
The boy's eyes fluttered open, and he smiled up. "Ranma…" he said in a deep voice. The boy blinked rapidly upon hearing his voice. "Ranma? What's going on?"
"Yes, you idiot!" he growled in irritation. "Who do you think I am?"
"…A… a guy…"
Akane blinked rapidly. "A… a guy?" Instinctively, he grabbed his chest. Eyes widened considerably, he hesitated a glance down the gown. "Gu… gu… gu…" Disbelieving, he reached down between his legs, checking. Akane froze like stone upon his discovery.
"A…Akane?" Ranma asked warily.
The island shook under the force of the outburst. "OH MY GOD!! I'M STUCK AS A GUY!! WAAHH!!!"
"Dear me," Cologne remarked. "This could result in some complications for your household, Tendo-san."
"WAAH!! My daughter's turned into a son! The Tendo-Saotome union is in trouble!"
"There, there, Tendo-kun. You still have two other daughters to fulfill the promise."
"Oh, my! Akane, is that really you?"
"Damn, sis. You would have to have all the bad luck, ne?"
"Shampoo no longer have worry about stupid violent girl, but Shampoo no want to meet same fate."
"Oh, my dear Akane!" Happousai moaned. "How could this have happened to such a beautiful girl?!"
"What foul magicks hast thou cast upon the beautific Akane Tendo, honorless sorcerer?! And what hath become of the pigtailed girl?"
"Ranma!! For allowing Akane to be cursed to live as a guy forever, I'll kill you!!"
"More importantly, you destroyed our only chance at getting a cure! How dare you be so greedy, Saotome?!"
Ranma was getting a headache. "Why me?" he muttered under his breath.
"Look everyone," boy-type Akane began, rubbing his squarish, angular jaw experimentally. "It's not Ranma's fault I'm like this."
Everyone, including Toma and his people, quieted down to listen to her. The group had formed a mock circle on the shore, partly to help revive Soun, Genma, Nabiki, and Ryouga (who incidentally woke up just in time avoid getting a face full of cold water). The shock proved to be a bit much when the boy introduced himself as Akane Tendo.
"It's… I chose to be cursed. For Ranma's sake."
"But why, Akane?" Ryouga piped up. "Why did you do it?"
"Yes. That is something we all would like to know," Cologne said, idly tapping a smoking pipe on the heel of her tiny foot thoughtfully before taking a deep drag off it. "Why would you choose to sacrifice your femininity for his benefit?"
The boy turned scarlet, stammering something very low and to himself.
Nabiki spoke up. "Let me guess. You're in love with him, right?" Ryouga fell over in shock at her inquiry.
Soun quickly snapped out of his depressive funk. "Is that true, daughter? You love him?"
Boy-type Akane eeped. "Umm… ah…" He glanced to his immediate left to Ranma who was looking at his own toes. He seemed to be deep in thought. At any rate, he wasn't much help. "Well… I…"
"You're an idiot," Ranma said quietly.
Switching gears from scandalized to insulted proved to be a bit harder this time around, but Akane pulled it off anyway. "What did you say?!"
He didn't look up. "You're an idiot. For giving up being a girl for me. That was the stupidest thing I've ever seen anyone ever do. It's even dumber than Oyaji teaching me the nekoken."
Boy-type Akane was hurt, as well as angered, by his words. He balled up a fist out of reflex to slug the pigtailed boy across the mystical island. See if he would do something nice for that jerk again!
His anger deflated, replaced by confusion. "What?"
Ranma gave him a sidelong look and a hint of a lopsided grin. "I know how much you like being a girl and stuff, and I know it ain't easy to be cursed to turn into the opposite gender. But you really wanted to get me cured, even when I was trying to save you." He shifted out of his prone position, then hesitated briefly before giving him a "guy hug," slapping him on the back. Surprised at first, Akane returned the hug, trying to copy his actions.
"You're… welcome." Akane smiled a bit.
"Aww…" the majority of the group said as one, embarrassing both Ranma and the newly-made boy.
"So," Akane started, changing the conversation from an embarrassing direction. "How does it feel to be male all the time?"
Ranma scratched his chin. "Well… it feels good so far. I still wish you didn't—"
For reasons unknown to even the modern sciences, it rained over the island without warning. Ryouga leapt behind Genma as the first drops fell as it was too late to look for his bamboo umbrella. A minute later, it subsided, leaving most of those caught in its path drenched, or, for the Jusenkyou-cursed factions, changed.
Ranma gave them a wry smile. "Well, that's at least one good thing about not becoming a girl." Something didn't seem right, all of a sudden. He felt different, and everyone, including a sopped P-Chan that darted out from behind a wet panda, was staring at him as if he just grew horns and a second head. Even boy-type Akane looked like someone had just stepped on his grave. "What?" Hearing a higher-than-normal-for-a-guy's voice come from his mouth, he began to sweat profusely. "No way…" He squeezed his eyes shut and grabbed his chest. Instead of lean muscle, he squeezed two firm lumps protruding a ways from his chest. Gasping, he opened his eyes wide and met a pair of breasts on his body. A blink later, he found himself face-to-face with Happousai, who was vigorously rubbing himself between the two large mammary organs.
"Sweeto! You're back, Ranma, my boy! Pose in this brassiere for me, would you?"
The island shook again from an extreme auditory explosion. "OH MY GOD!! I'M BACK TO BEING A GIRL AGAIN!!"
"How sad, really," Ukyou mused, looking up at the stars.
"Why do you say that," Nabiki asked out of curiosity as she was fed a grape by the obedient dog-man of Toma's troupe.
"Because Ranchan didn't know how that water and the Jusenkyou curse would interact."
"Mmm… true. It didn't help that the man-changing water use to be a cursed hot springs. Its waters only affect the outside form, and Ranma remained male when he fell in. It's certainly not the same thing as canceling out a curse."
"Yeah. And I know Akane must be a real pain in the fanny now. Sacrificed being a woman just to find out it didn't work after all."
"Not nearly as angry as she is at their parents' suggestion that the schools can still be united if boy-type Akane married girl-type Ranma and she gave birth to their children."
"Don't forget, Ranchan was even more furious than she was."
"Stupid panda," Shampoo said, walking back to the quickly made camp.
"You said it, Sugar. For once, we're in total agreement."
Somewhere off in the distance, a shout of "Yoganran Gidigan!" and a scream of bestial agony punctuated the night air.
"I guess Ranma, Akane, and Toma found Genma," Nabiki noted idly, then opened her mouth receive another grape.
"It was so nice of Toma-kun to help Ranma and Akane find his father," Kasumi said as she cooked dinner for the camp.
"Probably because his and Daddy's logic made him ill to think about," Nabiki said to herself.
"Too bad only illusion fire. Would like panda barbecue now."
"Yeah, but I think he had forgotten about that little tidbit in his panic. Besides, it'll be a good experience for that jackass to suffer some for all the dumb things he said and done over the years."
Off in the distance, Soun ran as fast as his legs could carry him. His oldest friend had already fallen to that Toma boy. "Come on… it… it was just a… thought!" he cried out, panting heavily. "Have pity—!"
"Mouko Takabisha!" A beam of yellow streaked past him, obliterating some botanical life.
"Shut up, Dad!"
"But, can't we… just talk about it?"
"NO!!" boy-type Akane and girl-type Ranma shouted at the same time. "Get back here!"
"Waah! My son is so scary!"
"Ooh!! I'm a girl, dammit!!"
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