An NGE / Animaniacs crossover spamfic
by Adrian D. Moten
Disclaimer: Pinky and the Brain belong to Warner Bros. Neon Genesis Evangelion belong to Gainax.
Somewhere deep inside of NERV HQ, Pinky and the Brain view Unit 01 and Unit 02 fighting an Angel on the vidscreen. Brain gets an idea.
Brain: Pinky, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Pinky: Um, I think so, Brain, but how do we get a cow sucked up into a tornado?
Brain: [whacks Pinky] No, Pinky. We need to get our hands upon an Eva Unit.
Pinky: [rubs the bump on his head] Uh, and what do we do with an Eva Unit?
Pinky: [pokes the bump on his head] Ow! No, I can still feel it. Narf!
Brain: [sigh] Why do I even bother? Come with me Pinky. We must first get a plug suit and a pair of neurotransmitters.
Pinky and the Brain crawl out of their mouse cage, then take to the ventilation shaft. Eventually they make their way to the pilots' lockers.
Brain: [looks around] Good, no one's here. Now's our chance.
They drop down on top of one locker using a makeshift grappling line made out of paper clips. With some effort, they pop open a locker and a red plug suit tumbles out.
Brain: [crawls inside] Hmm… It's a lot bigger than I thought it would be. There has to be some way to make this fit.
Pinky: [walks around the suit, then notices a button on the wrist] I wonder what this does?
He hits the button, and the suit instantly shrinks to skin tight fitness. Unfortunately, it only shrinks so far. Now there is a mouse shaped lump wiggling in the suit.
Pinky: [looks around] Um, Brain? Where are you? [Hits the button again absently, and the suit expands to normal size]
Brain crawls out, looking pressed. Pinky spots him.
Pinky: Oh, there you are! Narf!
Brain: Pinky, come here…
Pinky: Uh… [walks over] Why—
Brain throws Pinky inside the suit, then hits the button on the wrist, contracting it on his partner, and then hits the release button. Pinky crawls out looking pressed as well.
Brain: We don't have time for silly games. Now we must— [klaxons blare and footsteps are racing towards the pilots' lockers]— cheese it, hide!
Pinky and the Brain run inside of the red plug suit.
Asuka and Shinji run inside.
Asuka: Hurry up, dummkopf! The Angel's almost upon us.
Shinji: I'm hurrying!
Asuka: [notices her suit is on the floor] What the—
Shinji: Come on, Asuka!
Asuka shrugs and throws on her plug suit quickly and seals it up. Shinji does likewise, and they both run out to the dummy plugs. Shortly, the Eva units are launched to the surface of Tokyo-3, and they begin to fight the Angel.
Asuka: [firing off her assault rifle] Gotta get through the AT-Field… [blinks as her plug suit moves] What the—
Misato: [over the comlink] What is it, Asuka?
Asuka: My suit… i-it felt like it just moved… [it moves again] Aah! It did it again! [deflates her suit and peeks down the collar; she screams] There are mice in my plug suit! Get them out! Get them out!!
Unit 02 flips out then, dancing all over the place, destroying building in the process. The Angel stops attacking and peers over at the red spectacle.
Asuka backpedals headfirst into the Angel, sending them both sprawling. Annoyed, the Angel looms over Unit 02, ready to crush it. Suddenly, the red Eva kicks up both feet into its body, throwing it hundreds of feet backwards.
Asuka: Aiiiieee!! The mice!! The mice!! [starts stomping around in the dummy plug]
The Eva starts stomping on the Angel frantically. It flails about trying to throw off the Unit.
Asuka: Get out of my suit!!
Unit 02 hefts the Angel overhead and starts slamming it onto the ground repeatedly. It shakes it violently, then flings it to the sky.
Pinky and the Brain Scamper out of Asuka's pug suit.
Asuka: I'll kill you two! [starts punching at the two]
The Angel falls to the earth, but before it can touch down, Unit 02 hits it with a barrage of punches, juggling the monster for several seconds.
Asuka: Gotcha! [hits the mice with a kick]
Unit 02 smashes the Angel's core with a spinning kick, and the Angel goes dead.
Asuka: [laughs] Got 'em good!
Unit 02 gives the victory sign, standing on top of the Angel in triumph.
Shinji: [amazed] Wow, I never knew you had it in you.
Asuka: [not realizing that she just beat up an Angel] Well, getting rid of vermin is my specialty. It was easy once I got them out in the open.
Shinji: [frowns] Them?
Somewhere deep inside of NERV, Pinky and the Brain are in their mouse cage, bandaged and wearing body casts.
Pinky: Um, Brain, what are we going to do tomorrow night?
Brain: The same thing we do every night.
Pinky: Uh, what's that?
Brain: To try to take over the world… just as soon as we get out of these body casts.
Singers: They're dinky. They're Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain.
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